ADHD, Films, and my attempt at doing something creative

The effort it’s taken me to c mi ome up with and write just a few words, including my title and caption, would be enough to put any hardworking creative to shame. So let’s be honest here and start with one simple fact straight out the bag - I am no talented writer.

It’s currently lockdown here in the UK, and since I lost my job a few months back, I feel as if I’ve been in some sort of lockdown for quite a considerable amount of time now. Each day, I scramble to fix my lazy, unmotivated mindset before it succumbs to the greatest pitfall of all - procrastination. Alas, this is the way of living with ADHD - all my daily, seemingly simple activities become akin to attempting to write a thesis within the crowded confines of a heavy metal concert. Still, I wake up, as if in Groundhog Day, and rinse and repeat my failed attempts at escaping my own mind to do something other than scroll through pointless Reddit posts or tirelessly play videogames. Trapped I often feel, motivated/excited rarely. Even as I am attempting to write this, I have a film on in the background and am completely distracted by my own silly thoughts.

Right, off to a bit of a depressing start here. Lets change gears. I’m 23. My name is Kane Le-Petit. I have a french name but nobody in my family knows why. My biggest passion is, or should I say was, watching and discussing films. Admittedly, losing my job and having little to no concentration skills at this current time has put a bit of a damper of my interests, since I spend the majority of my days anxiously putting off job searching and worrying about bill payments. My hope, is that using Vocal, I’ll be able to recapture that fleeting feeling of being creative and writing - something I used to heavily enjoy and use this site as a tool of positive distraction to further my writing “skills” and stray away from the ADHD trap. Watching a film and then hastily reviewing it used to be an enjoyable task for me, but recently, with all the stress the world has us in, my enjoyment with this has dwindled, but I believe it can be salvaged! If anyone reading this would like a specific movie written about, or a specific topic of any sort, I can attempt to create some form of writing just for you. I’m open to requests and am cautiously excited to see if my passion can be revived through the power of a cool new website.

So, this introduction has been a bit of a mess, and it’s early days, so I don’t know exactly what I’m going to be writing about. Films that have made an impact on me, my daily struggles with life itself, or just an outlet for fun! I’m hoping that the more I get used to this new site, the more constant my content will be - but there’s still a lot to learn and hey, I might get less than a single view on this introduction - and that’s absolutely fine. Lets see if using Vocal can help me in my journey to recapture my passion and lessen the negativity shrouded within my mind. However, if this doesn’t work out, and I feel as if my writing isn’t exactly reaching an audience, that’s okay, I’ll use this as a virtual diary of some sort and it might even relieve some of my built up stress and worries into a beautifully written explosion. I don’t think that’s too sad.