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About the Pain of Loneliness

A sure battle we all face at one point or another in our lives.

By Rene Volpi Published 25 days ago Updated 25 days ago 4 min read
Top Story - February 2024
29
About the Pain of Loneliness
Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

We are all suffering beings.

We come into this realm to learn lessons.

This is a part of that teaching. Hopefully, we will learn it this time around.

The lessons are painful, and that's how we learn.

How can we learn from pain? You might ask.

All the ancients assure us that is the case. Even the Buddha. As a matter of fact, the first precept of Buddhism is “Life is Suffering.” Thankfully, if you follow the lines below that text, they also say, “There's an ending to such suffering.”, and no, it doesn't mean when life ends.

We have heard it before, maybe forgotten, but we have. “Life isn't fair,” or ”Life sucks”, etc. etc.

Point is, we learn with every fall, every disappointment, every heartache. We hate it when it happens, cursing everything and everyone, but our innate wisdom knows it. “That too shall pass.”

Those are hard lessons, for sure, but anything valuable is worth the suffering involved.

Ask your grandma; she knows…

Ask anyone who has lived a little; they'll tell you.

Maybe your parents would too. Or maybe not. Maybe they're too young to have realized it. Play it safe, don’t ask.

Life is filled with pain. Pain is a message. Evolution requires pain.

It is painful for us to learn and to teach those who are lost in anger and resentment. Lost in the otherwise incomprehensible form of human existence.

Then we have the pain of loneliness, so powerful that sometimes we prefer it over the physical kind, any time.

In our desperation to avoid it, we make many mistakes, some with extreme, hard consequences. Sometimes involving others who never saw it coming. The innocent ones that we bring into the world. What have they done to deserve suffering? What lesson is there for them?

And yet, there is one. Possibly more; we just don't see it yet. After all, some of the greatest masters in the art world came from broken homes or other such misfortunes. Some of the most brilliant writers, too.

Who's to tell?

The Bohemian artists, for the most part, don't define it as ‘loneliness’. Time alone is the term they prefer. Sometimes, it feels like loneliness, but it's something else. People can be exhausting sometimes.

In times of war, or not, on military deployments, friendships of circumstance happen constantly.

In some of those cases, people would meet and marry within weeks of getting to know each other.

Yes, some think they have to do it now or take the chance of ending up alone, so they make a terrible compromise. Experts hardly ever recommend such unions, and studies would agree.

Many others take their chances in bars or online. Except for a few lucky ones, both come with their own set of problems.

One thing that is true is that these days, we have a lonely society. Too lonely to be normal. It's a phenomenon and an aberration at the same time.

It's hard to pinpoint the exact cause why it's happening now, but if we put our minds to the task, we can figure it out.

Generations ago, people didn't have the Internet. That's got to be one of the issues. A biggie, too. Another is distrust. We have become too cynical, and for good reason. We see negativity before anything else. If not, our friends will surely tell us. We see it happening all the time. Lack of trust, fear of getting hurt, or a combination of both.

Is it reasonable? Who is to say?

Are people being too cautious unnecessarily?

Many go to therapists to seek answers or to make sense of the type of life they're living, but rarely do they leave their office satisfied. More often than not, the most they get is the next appointment date.

No script will tell us the solution to today's problems. We'll have to figure them out ourselves and have enough presence of mind to know we aren't alone in dealing with them. Millions are suffering in this very moment, to different degrees, but from the same source.

And it will continue to be this way until we find the root of our issues, because distracting from them is obviously a fool's errand.

And that, we must learn, first and foremost. But realizing we aren't alone in this struggle is an important part of growing and evolving.

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About the Creator

Rene Volpi

I'm from Italy and write every day. Being a storyteller by nature, I've entertained (and annoyed) people with my "expositions" since I was a child, showing everyone my primitive drawings, doodles, and poems. Still do! Leave me a comment :)

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  1. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (12)

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  • Anna 14 days ago

    Congrats on Top Story!🥳

  • Gargie S Anand16 days ago

    I very much concur with the phrase that "Evolution requires pain". Very well put!

  • Annetta Brown17 days ago

    I am going through this now and have really had to look deep within and your story here helped a lot. Thank you.

  • Hazel Rymell 18 days ago

    Everyone is lonely in a way, no one talks anymore, elderly live alone, sometimes miles from their family. Centuries ago, before technology gave us TV and Internet, everyone talked to each other, generations all shared the same house, everyone in the house looked after the children or the elderly. Not like that now, we grow up and are expected to fly the nest, either with someone, who may not be in our lives forever, or alone. So society has now become a lonely one.

  • Naveed 20 days ago

    Remarkable job! Maintain the fantastic work—congrats!

  • Dr Mehmet Yildiz21 days ago

    You articulated and described the pain of loneliness beautifully. Great to see this exceptional story was chosen as top writer. Congratulations.

  • Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊

  • Clement Boabeng21 days ago

    wonderful words indeed

  • Holly Pheni21 days ago

    "Distracting from them is a fool's errand" -- wise words indeed. I think busyness keeps us lonely. Beautiful words. I've subscribed.

  • "The lessons are painful, and that's how we learn." Then I don't wanna learn or have any lessons 🤣🤣🤣🤣 "As a matter of fact, the first precept of Buddhism is “Life is Suffering.” Thankfully, if you follow the lines below that text, they also say, “There's an ending to such suffering.”, and no, it doesn't mean when life ends." Omgggggg, so pain continues even after death? 😭😭😭😭😭😭 "We hate it when it happens, cursing everything and everyone, but our innate wisdom knows it. “That too shall pass.”" Nope, I have never believed that anything shall pass 🤣🤣🤣 "Those are hard lessons, for sure, but anything valuable is worth the suffering involved." Anything that comes from pain is not valuable to me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 "Life is filled with pain. Pain is a message. Evolution requires pain." Then I don't want life, the message or the evolution 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Lol, I'm so sorry, I'm just so cynical hahahahahaha!! Also, I love loneliness. I just want a drama free life. I want it to be as uneventful as possible.

  • dre.amerwithapen25 days ago

    👏🏻Thank you for sharing. Helped me reflect a little

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