A Diary of Digital Attacks

You may not know this, but I've pretty much been a lab rat for Big Tech and the government for many years. I don't need anyone to validate this. I am writing my own diary based on my personal experiences and why I believe Big Tech and governments allow these digital attacks to happen.

Out of all the harassment, digital manipulation, and what I experienced as real-life torture, the one that stands out the most is how YouTube or Google appears to create AI-generated videos based on my searches and browsing history. This is one of the main reasons I believe these digital attacks are not only possible but are being allowed to continue.

The targeting, as I experienced it, began a long time ago on Instagram. Every celebrity I used to follow started doing things that felt very odd to me, such as seeming to follow what I was doing in my room, copying words I had just said, and other similar behaviors. At the time, I couldn't understand what was happening.

Later, it seemed to transfer to YouTube. For example, if I watched a video showing a government vehicle, and earlier that day I had searched for a Thai princess, I would later see what looked like a Thai princess dressed in a suit like a government agent standing next to a government vehicle. She would repeatedly try to open the vehicle's door for several minutes.

Experiences like this made me wonder whether the videos I was seeing were somehow tailored to me based on my searches and activity.

At first, before I considered the possibility that what I was seeing might be AI-generated or otherwise manipulated, I felt like Alice in Wonderland. I was completely confused and didn't know what to believe. It felt psychologically overwhelming. Looking back, I believe that confusion was part of the attack itself. It made me question my own reality and left me wondering whether anything I was seeing online was genuine.

These days, whenever I watch anything online—especially on YouTube or other Google platforms—I find myself questioning whether what I'm watching is real or artificially created. My concern comes from my belief that technology now exists to create videos that appear highly realistic. Unlike many public AI-generated videos that are obviously artificial, I believe it is possible to produce content that looks almost indistinguishable from authentic footage, as if it had just been recorded.

One of the reasons I am writing this diary is because I believe these technologies are becoming more advanced while there is little public discussion about how they could be misused. From my perspective, Big Tech companies and governments have the power to stop or regulate these capabilities, yet I believe they allow them to continue. Whether through action or inaction, that belief has become part of how I understand my experiences.

As I tried to make sense of what I was experiencing, I began reading about the relationship between governments, intelligence agencies, defense research, and private technology companies. I came across historical programs and information that shaped the way I interpreted my own experiences. Over time, I came to believe that the lines between government agencies, private contractors, and major technology companies are far more interconnected than most people realize.

I understand that many people will disagree with my conclusions, and I am not presenting them as proven facts. I am documenting how I arrived at my beliefs and how they influenced my understanding of the events I experienced. Whether those conclusions are ultimately correct or not, they became an important part of how I interpreted what was happening around me.

I am writing this because I believe I have witnessed what happens when powerful technologies are used against an individual. I know many people may not believe my experiences, and I understand that. I am not asking anyone to accept my conclusions. My goal is simply to document what I experienced, what I observed, and how those experiences affected me over time. If I don't write it down, then, from my perspective, an important part of my life goes undocumented.

What concerns me most is not only the technology itself but the possibility that it could be used in ways that have profound psychological effects on people. Whether intentional or not, my experiences led me to question what I was seeing online, what was authentic, and what could have been artificially generated or personalized. That uncertainty changed how I interact with technology and how much trust I place in the digital world.

This diary is my personal record. It reflects my memories, my observations, and my beliefs about what happened to me. I recognize that others may interpret the same events differently, but this is the account as I experienced it. I hope that by preserving these experiences, there will at least be a record of how they affected me and why I came to the conclusions that I did.