A Devotion to Truth

The degree to which a person can grow is directly proportional to the amount of truth they can accept about themselves without running away.

—Leland Val Vandewall

The capital T truth.

Our rawest, messiest, and most authentic essence concealed behind the layers and layers of facades we create to protect ourselves. The realness hidden beneath the masks we’ve been taught to wear to be loved and accepted.

Like a hidden treasure waiting to be found, our truth is always there, revealing itself through persistent exploration. I have been on a quest to unveil this truth for almost a decade. Over the years I’ve continuously confronted my shadows, slayed the proverbial dragons, and untangled the programs I picked up to be a certain way even if it meant being in misalignment with my heart and soul. Early into this healing journey, I recognized what I was after—sweet, sweet freedom.

The type of freedom that allows you to embrace who you truly are at the core of your being and let go of all the ways you’ve been deceiving yourself, and everyone else.

No more hiding, no more masks.

To do this I had to take a radically honest look in the mirror and discern all the ways I was disguising my true self to appease, belong, conform, avoid rejection, fit into moulds that weren’t meant for me, etc. And let me tell you, I had to get real fucking honest with myself because most of the masks we wear are there to protect us and they don’t want us to catch onto their little charade (it seems to all come back to safety and protection, am I right?).

So I started to ask myself questions like…

How have my past experiences and programming shaped the masks I wear today?

What fears or insecurities do my masks protect me from confronting?

In what ways have I compromised my authenticity to fit into societal moulds or expectations?

One of the masks I uncovered during this process was my lifelong identification with academia and being highly educated. For most of my life, I followed the path that society laid out for me and kept going back for more degrees regardless of how decorated my bedroom wall was.

But when I looked under the hood I realized this identity served to uphold a version of myself who felt she needed to be viewed as intelligent to feel ‘good enough’. This makes sense as these values were deeply ingrained in my upbringing. Success and prestige equated to the number of years spent in school and the career you entered after you finished. As I reflect on my education experience, especially post-secondary onward, it’s so clear that I was miserable. I was suffering to preserve an identity that was so far from my truth and this dissonance ended up manifesting as mental health issues for many of the years I was in post-secondary and afterwards.

When we suppress our truth, our bodies know and give us signals to change.

And when we let the truth in, we can immediately feel the lightness in our bodies as they are finally allowed to exhale and lay their defences down.

By acknowledging this dissonance I was able to shed that identity and deal with the feelings of ‘not good enough’ (… a continuous work in progress). Being honest with myself opened me up to a world so very different from anything I could have imagined for myself. A world of truth. A world full of creativity, expression, entrepreneurship, and endless self-discovery. These were things I was shoving into the crevices of my soul while I followed a prescribed path so deeply out of alignment.

So much opened up when I took an honest look at myself.

Sometimes these facades are slightly more nuanced, like I said, the masks are firmly put in place to keep us from harm and don’t want us to reveal their rouse. My perfectionism mask can be a sneaky one, it’s another intricate facade I’m actively working on deconstructing. It involves meticulously crafting every detail of my life to project an image of flawlessness. Somewhere along the way, I picked up a belief that if I could maintain this illusion of perfection, I would be accepted and valued. When I whipped out my journal to dive deeper into this wound, I revealed its source—a constant fear of failure, criticism, and rejection.

As I continue to unravel the truth behind my perfectionism, I inch closer to that sweet, sweet freedom I so deeply crave.

This work has allowed me to show up here, imperfect and vulnerable, but in service of my expression and ultimately, my truth.

The journey to truth and authenticity is never linear or easy.

It demands relentless introspection, uncomfortable growth, and the courage to face our deepest fears and insecurities. Yet, with each layer shed, with each truth embraced, we move closer to a profound sense of sovereignty.

Making every hardship worth it.

This truth, the capital T kind, is not just a destination but a continual unfolding, a journey of unravelling layers to reveal the essence of who we are at our core. It’s why I’ve named this tiny corner of the internet, unravelled. It’s continuous and the more we peel back, the closer we get to who we truly are.

The degree to which we can expand in our lives is directly linked to our willingness to embrace these truths, to face our fears, and to shed the layers of protection that no longer serve us.

Let’s continue to expand together.

What masks are you ready to relinquish to set your truth free?