A Bit of Fortune

July, 2010

So there, it's done. My last keystroke. I shut the laptop with a defeated, weak bang. I hand it over to you, Gavin A. Best of luck, my fantastic colleague. Cheerio!

Some of us could never handle fame. Our heads would explode at the surreal amount of attention. I've known for the past year exactly how I would react and based on my behavior at my day job, I stand a great chance of being hated. No one will have a kind word, and if I think about it for a mere second, I don't blame them.

How can I have everything, but then nothing? An invention, a recipe I cannot take credit for. A secret that will be my ruin. What was the point of these last two years if I cannot even enjoy it? It's like Monet covering up his paintings with a false image in front. It's like building your dreamhouse and never inviting a guest. This will be a fortune you cannot withdraw from.

I step onto my balcony. I think of Nobu, my step-father.

"Kevin, it never hurt a man to learn more than one skill," he used to say. "You never know these markets. You are too impassioned...be sure you can do more than one career in this life. This will protect you." I took Nobu up this advice and obtained dual degrees in finance and coding.

How I miss him. I wonder what council he would have for me now. Nobu Selmoto. He was Japanese in all ways, from his birthright to his beliefs. He enjoyed life in London with my mother and I, but I always knew he missed living in Japan. We all went back at least two times a year to visit with family and his old business contacts.

These trips were full of warnings. Every time we met up with people from Japan, there was a back story about each person or family that to me felt like a saga. But as intelligent as Nobu was, he was not creative enough to embellish any of it. He told each story in a rigid, unemotional pattern as if one was explaining math or a scientific discovery.

"Learn from this, Kevin. Takashi's son did not make his grades. He failed to go to the next level. This brought so much shame. When his son left his family, no one bothered with him further. Someone said they saw him cleaning hospital floors."

I remember this story the best out of all the sagas. Takashi's son was my age. We got along as young kids. I remember I liked his personality the best out of all the kids I had met in Japan. Just because he wasn't a brilliant scholar didn't mean his family should abandon him.

I didn't fully understand what was so shameful. Not everyone can make it to the next level. Sometimes, young men and women become janitors. If you ask me, Bex, the janitor at my workplace seems a lot happier than me on most days.

I don't know what Nobu would say to me regarding my current predicament. What if Takashi's son had built something so powerful that it drew the most negative and positive attention? Would Takashi side with the brilliance of his son? Or would he get absorbed by the negative media attention and abandon him?

I used the name Satoshi Nakamoto for my Bit project. It is a combination of the names of people I knew best in Japan. That is what I love about Japanese names: they are flexible, unlike English names. You can break off a piece here and add it to this name over there. It gives it a completely different meaning! It was the perfect alias to hide behind. Let them think it is a young, Japanese male who is way over his head and hates to explain encryption to anyone.

To protect myself, I applied for a janitorial position in 2011. On my job application, I explained that I once did data entry and wanted a job where I could be more physically active. The manager, a Jamaican women by the name of Jada, shook her head at me. "I seem to think you went to univesity for some time, but it is not here on your application. Why?" she asked. "You are afraid of being overqualified? How times have changed! Look, do not hide. If you can pass a drug test and if you don't have a criminal record, then you best put down the amount of education you worked so hard for. We shall see if you accept our offer."

I did as she asked. She huffed. "Be prepared to be treated very differently in this line of work. I mean this," she warned.

Jada was right. People roll their eyes when you collect the garbage. People shoo you out of the room when they are on a private phone call. You develop a different, thicker type of skin. No one brings me coffee anymore, or delivers lunch to my desk. How spoiled I had become! Now, I pack my own lunch, and I have become too cheap to buy expensive coffee.

But for the first time, I am seeing what life is like NOT being in front of a computer screen, not being tempted to solve every technological and financial problem put in front of me. How do I not sit for eight hours straight, with nerve pain in my back and wrists? I would sit four more hours once I got home, and attend to my Bit project.

Do I like being a janitor?

Well, I don't know that I like-like it, but I am much healthier than I used to be. My nerve pain is gone, and I am twenty pounds lighter due to the constant movement and the decreased stress. No one is coming for me in my paranoid dreams. Most importantly, I am humbled. My polite nature has returned. I have time to spend with my new girlfriend, Monique, unlike the past decade.

So far, the best part of my new line of work is that I invented an eco-friendly cleaner. I applied for a patent and I am now in the process of inventing a special type of brush to go with it. It will decrease the amount of cleaner needed because of it's efficiency. It's a good feeling, coming up with such solutions to the world's problems. Even if on a small scale.

I have received a lot of phone calls since 2011. Why had I left Tech-Fi? When was I coming back? I told them my own saga, without giving away the ending. Only this time, I embellished some parts, while other events remained true.

"I kept having panic attacks," I explained. "My doctors said it was because of too much work. This led to too many mistakes on the job. I decided I needed more balance in my life. Now, I don't even need Xanax!"

These phone calls had a lot of pauses. Colleagues and friends didn't know what to say. I knew it would be difficult for them to understand. Sometimes, I admitted to my own sense of relief, that my choices were going to lead me down a healthier path.

I didn't mention a bit about Bitcoin. Nakamoto. All anyone has to do is look around and see who left the tight circle of the finance-tech trade almost overnight. Who left his or her day job? Who made a sharp left and placed his doctrates, awards, and inventions in a drawer, with hardly a two-week notice?

It is someone who decided that inventions, incredible wealth, and technology itself has undetermined consequences. There is a dark side to achievement. Look at anyone who tried to disrupt and decentralize currency as we understand it. Did they not serve jailtime? Were they not harassed? Yet--once I improved my block-chain, I couldn't stop there. As evidenced by my White Paper, my Bit became addictive. There were days I didn't sleep. My day job suffered, and I was written up three times for neglectful mistakes that a student or intern would never make. I threw a cup of water on a female intern who caught these mistakes. I laughed at her shock.

A normal person would have been fired! Why wasn't I fired?

I'd become a monster. What classification of monster would I be if I became famous overnight? I'd rather push a broom, invent a line of cleaning solvents are that better for humans to breathe, have a low-key girlfriend, and cook my own vegetarian food.

I'd rather be a human.

I've read the Bitcoin articles. I see the fortune's growth every year. It teases me worse than any click-bait, any porn advetisement, any promise a product can make for happiness or a positive-user experience. I gather as much self-discipline as I can so as to not obsessively watch the rising amount. What's the point? It's not as if I can access it.

I get back online. When this mess of a pandemic is over, I want to go to Japan. I haven't seen Nobu's family for over two years. Ever since I left the tech industry, I didn't want to explain myself. Well, I'm ready to explain myself now.

I'm troubled by what I'm reading. Japan's earthquakes are back; as if the 9.0 earthquake in 2011 wasn't bad enough. The aftershock only took...what, ten years? But another one just hit Fukushima.

Last I knew, Takashi's son was living near Fukushima. He still goes by his birthname, but lives far away from his family. His son has a name: Naoshi Moto. I scroll through the article to see where the damage is. My heart sinks.

But then the thought comes to me: if I cannot handle my own fame and fortune, if it is all too great, just a mixed mess of blessings and curses; why not give it someone who's life could be vastly improved?

His friends and family will wonder at his Bitcoin involvement. Maybe... they will be envious. They will wish they treated him better! And even if they don't, he'll have amassed a fortune. Maybe it will teach others how to be a little more kind, a little more gentle to those who push brooms, clean windows, and didn't rise up to your high expectations.

I put a clause in my will. It reads as follows: "By the year of 2022, I am choosing to release ownership of the following code as it relates to my personal investments. It goes to Naoshi Moto. He may do with it as he wishes, but what a wonder it would be if he also used this fortune to help others less fortunate."

I am careful on what I choose to leave out in this very simple will. In the meantime, I send him books on Bitcoin and cryptocurrency. He is smart enough-- and though he will not know who sent it, he will understand that if someone went out of their way to give you such materials, then there is a purpose behind it. It is no accident. I believe that based on the way he was raised, he would take this seriously.

By the time Naoshi receives such codes in 2022, he will then understand what it is for, what it represents. Even if he doesn't yet understands why, or who.

I'll retire in four years. I have saved enough to enjoy travling and pursue hobbies. Maybe one day soon, I'll find myself in Nobu's beloved Japan. I'll call on old families I once knew.

Perhaps Naoshi will accept me in his home. When that time comes, what will he know? How will he handle an overnight fortune?