6 Things I Wish I Had Said To My Younger Self

For the last couple of years, I've been yearning to write a diary entry that states all the things I wish I'd said to myself during my childhood and adolescence. I'm finally doing it, and I'm pleased to have found the time and space to do it!

To help myself move on from the past and accept myself for who I am today, I believe writing a journal entry about some of the true lessons I've learned so far in my adulthood would help me realize that all of these lessons are, indeed, true, and not made up by me. Although these kinds of life lessons were taught for years, I had ZERO self-confidence in myself and had a hard time believing that these lessons are worth learning and remembering. I was too busy binge-eating junk food, reading high fantasy books, going on shopping sprees, and too busy feeling negative that I didn't have the time and energy to immerse myself in these lessons that will help me live a fulfilling, healthy, and fruitful existence.

I'm grateful that I’ve begun reading inspirational quotes on Pinterest, and indulging in a variety of new age songs and Eckhart Tolle's YouTube videos, to enhance my mental health and spiritual development. Because of my interest in spirituality and health, I'm gaining the self-confidence and the understanding of why society's generalizations mean nothing to me.

I'd love to talk about the 6 things I wish I'd said to my younger self. Hopefully, this will inspire you and alter your perspectives of yourselves and your lives!

1. Life is not always cozy and warm. Life can be cold and uninviting.

Let's face it, we all despise feeling uncomfortable and facing tough situations, but we'll never develop properly unless we go through the challenging times. We have disputes with our friends/family members, we have work struggles, we struggle in school, etc. We cannot live a fruitful, well-rounded life without experiencing the negative things.

There are good days and bad days. There are kind people and unkind people in this world. There are clean places and dirty places. Nothing in life is as impeccable as we expect it to be. It's simply not realistic.

Our bodies work better than others. Some days, our health won't be in tip-top shape, and we have to make sacrifices to regain our health. Sometimes, we won't have enough money to purchase and/or do the things we have the desire to do. Some days, we have to think outside the box, and satisfy ourselves with whatever we have until we have enough money, and/or until we're stable enough to choose what we want to do and/or spend our money on.

Bottom line is, good things will come at the right time. We just have to be patient!

2. There's no need to master things at a specific age or time. We have so much time to master things, so why rush to learn things at a certain age or time just because society believes it's appropriate?!

Society is full of generalizations. Society expects us to master and learn things at a certain time, and people like myself are often told that "we're not functional enough, because we take longer than the average person", which is one of the most asinine stereotypes.

The mere truth is, everyone is structured differently, which explains why they may do things differently, and at a different frequency/pace. This is not something to be ashamed of. For example, I take longer to process things and I prefer to take my time to learn important skills like math, human anatomy, social skills, and emotional intelligence, because those are not my strongest points. My brain is just not wired to grasp these things quickly, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I have my whole life ahead of me, so even if I cannot learn and master important skills like mathematics, and/or social skills, it's not the end of the world. I'll master it eventually. I'll need to be patient with myself and keep working at it.

Another example would be, if someone immigrated from another country to a North American country such as the United States or Canada several years ago and still grapples with adapting to westernized culture, that doesn't mean they won't be able to adapt eventually. They may just take longer than the average person, because they're accustomed to living by certain standards, that it's all they know.

3. I don't need extravagant things to make me content. The ordinary things are just as luxurious as the extravagant things.

Before I moved out of my family home, I was dependent on material things, as opposed to the simple things to satisfy me. Because of the way my autism affected me at the time, I used to practice the same hobby for 3-4 months, and then find another hobby to practice for the next 3-4 months. As a result, I was prone to boredom, and found it challenging to find "another pleasurable activity" to do to occupy my time, because I never wanted to do anything else except for the 1-2 hobbies I chose to spend 3-4 months doing. If I didn't want to do the specific hobby I would have usually done, I'd be lost with what to do.

Since I would become bored from time to time, I would take myself on shopping sprees, or depend on my parents to go on shopping sprees, as a means to pass time quicker. That mindset changed after June 2020, because I became accustomed to staying at home so much, that I automatically learned that "the simple things mean just as much as the big things". At the end of the day, material things shouldn't be your primary source of satisfaction, so there's no point in setting that expectation for yourself and others. Simple things like cuddling in my bed with a good book, a cup of tea, and my iPad is just as fulfilling as going out for a meal. It's all about how you perceive it. You can either perceive quiet days as mundane and melancholy or a great day to practice your favourite hobbies and catch up on tasks that you couldn't do for whatever the reason may be. If it wasn't for the pandemic, I wouldn't have had this philosophy to begin with.

4. No day is the same. Every day of the week changes, so welcome it!

Recently, I acknowledged that there are yucky days, gorgeous days, positive days, and negative days in every season. We can’t blame our emotions on the seasons, because we cannot control the weather, regardless of what season it is.

Unexpected events can happen at any time of the year, so it’s important for me to keep myself busy and cope in the best way possible. I’m more susceptible to depression during the winter months, so it’s crucial for me to practice self-care and self-control as a means to cope in a constructive manner. I can only control how I respond to the weather. The weather is beyond my control.

5. No one is obligated to be in my good books. It doesn't mean I'm a bad person. It means that I may not be their type of person, and that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Over the years, I've had difficulties with not taking things personally and setting realistic expectations with others. I'm an innately sensitive and emotionally-frail individual, so not taking things personally doesn't come naturally to me. I have to work harder at it, and it can be mentally exhausting.

Because of the way some kids treated me in my childhood and teenage years, I always had this unreasonable expectation of people being mandated to like me and/or be my friend. I had moments in which I felt desolate and melancholy, as well as moments in which I felt guilty for being "peculiar" and "unique". As a result, I craved more attention from others, but didn't always have the best standards for myself and others at times. Whenever someone isn't a fond of me, and/or doesn't agree with how I operate, I take it to heart. I have a tendency to punish myself for not pleasing enough people. As I'm maturing every day, I'm gradually recognizing that I cannot please every single human on this planet. It's a ridiculous and impossible standard to have.

Nobody is obligated to be in my good books, and that's not because I'm truly doing anything improper. It's because people basically don't agree with how I do things, speak, and/or my personality type may not be suitable for them. That's just the way things roll.

6. Living with autism is one of the most charming things in the world.

People are structured differently based on their genetic makeup, how their brain works, cultural differences, etc. That’s the beauty of living on this planet. People with autism have so many traits that are unique and worth valuing. Having autism can be a fantastic thing, because it gives people like me intellectual and creative superpowers that no one else has! I realized that the hard way. Without my autistic superpowers, I don’t think I’d be capable of studying and learning tons of foreign languages without a problem, and I also wouldn’t be such a powerful writer! Autism makes it possible for me to pursue my love for poetry and blogging!

Autism is a challenging thing to live with. I’m not trying to glorify it, I’m just sharing the positives that can also come with having autism.

Thank you for taking the time to read another one of my diary entries. If you found this inspirational, please give it a ❤️, share it with others, comment, and send me a tip/pledge to show your appreciation and support. To find and read more exciting content, please consider subscribing and visiting my public profile. Stay tuned for more poetry, diary entries, recipes, and much more fun stuff!

Please feel free to connect with me outside of Vocal!

IG:@tdwrites24

FB: Talia Devora