Yes, Lydia, There Is A Halloween

It's August 6th and I'm preparing to get S P O O K Y.

Halloween is a big holiday that means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Some would decry it as an evil day that worships devils. Some look forward to it as a chance to shed a bit of that banal shroud and embrace the weirdness within. Some see it as a hallowed event that allows them an easier time to communicate and establish links to the worlds and beings beyond the veil. Some welcome it as a chance to greet those on the other side. These all have some truth in them, don't they?

Others stick their noses up at it for being a childish and overhyped phenomenon. I shake my sparkling scarlet pitch fork at them. It was three bucks at a Party City sale and the shedding glitter will stick on to those haters for a long time . . . vengeance is sweet.

This holiday has a long and, mostly dark, history. Whether it be known as Samhain, All Hallows Eve, Día de los Muertos, or our modern Halloween; There's definitely been pushback over the hundreds of years this holiday has existed. Mostly in the form of religious pushback when codes were stricter and religious texts (the Bible in particular) seen as more rule of Law than it could be argued it is now, there has definitely been times in history where the day was reviled. Yet the spirit endured even as the flesh was weak, lasting up to this day to become what I would boldly claim is the most widely celebrated holiday.

Which leads us up to now, in the year 2020, what has certainly been a most heinous year. COVID-19 hit us all like a runaway truck and seems to be enjoying a repeated cross-country trip over in our neck of the woods. We've had a pandemic, murder hornets, the threat of WWIII . . . By God I'm hearing returns of Bubonic Plague and West Nile in some sports. I just got done reading an article about Zombie Cicadas!

B-B-Brrraaaaaaiiiiiinnnnnsss~ (yes I tried to write out the sound of a cicada and use a cliche zombie trick, whatever, please stop judging me)

Christ on Ice.

The point is . . . Yeah, this year has been particularly, um, fraught with tribulations and heartache. We've had to give up or restrict a lot of things to adapt with the times. A lot of parties, hangouts, and special events had to be cancelled or replanned for next year at the earliest! This list has, quite sadly, included a lot of beloved Halloween Events and, judging by current trends, it's not looking certain that we'll be able to even attend some fun costume parties or club events as usually happens.

Does that mean that Halloween . . . is cancelled?

Hell no!

Halloween has more value than the price of admission to a seasonal event. It's worth more than Best Costume, and cinnamon flavored jello shots, and buckets full of candy or whatever the hell other material trappings we all enjoy as a result of the holiday's commercial viability. I don't know about you all, but I didn't get into Halloween because of the glitz and textiles- I got into Halloween because I love scary shit. I love the thought of realms and lives beyond this current one we live, and how absolutely dark that all can get. I love the adrenaline pumping scenarios brought to you in chilling tales of survival and unmitigated terror! I love the cautionary tales laced in blood, the spirits around every corner that most don't see, the monsters that smile at you in broad daylight just as easily as the ones who look upon you in the dark; I'm superstitious, and high-strung, and a wimp about being scared and I love Halloween.

So to see these posts on my timeline about Halloween being cancelled? How people can't celebrate the holiday anymore? It is utterly unacceptable. It's weakness that I don't tolerate on my feed, no Ma'am, keep that lack of discipline away from me.

Well What Am I Gonna Do To Celebrate?

I mean there's just so much to do with Halloween! First of all . . . you can celebrate it every day of your life--

You can start off on September 1st for a nice long season of (the witch) Halloween, or be boring and wait until October 1st, no judgement right . . . ? There are so many traditions you can sink your teeth into! I mean you can carve so many Jack-O-Lanterns to guard your doorstep at night (and don't ever blow them out before Halloween ends), bake so many easy and super delicious fall themed desserts; candy apples, caramel apples, black cupcakes with a little help from food coloring, candy ghouls galore!

Please note that Halloween is not a convenient excuse for you to start trying spellwork or casting, like it's not something that requires a lot of research and study, or to try and hastily rush into other cultural practices as if there won't be some great pushback or consequences that you won't be aware of because you thought it was all sweet. Can't tell you what to do, obviously, so

(Do Not Buy A Ouija Board. Do Not Use A Ouija Board. Seriously why is it such a fun party trick for y'all to invoke spirits that may or may not be who they say they are and open portals without knowing how to close them again- please for the Love of God stop using Ouija Boards don't invite things in--)

. . . Go forth cautiously and respectfully. Please.

In more harmless methods of celebration, yes, you can go full materialistic if it suits your glittering black heart. Buy a bunch of costume makeup, or regular makeup palettes, I don't know how shapeshifting really works for The Great Ones. Cover your face every damn day if it's to your liking, or sneak in a little spooky wooky where you can should your workplace have strict makeup regulations. Color your lips like you just snacked on the juiciest neck ever, I love a good red lip moment. Buy a lot of sexy thigh-highs to peek out from underneath black dresses, or make your own cosplay versions of your favorite outfits from beloved horror movies and TV shows. Listen to horror movie soundtracks on your way to work, or scary podcasts. A nice couple of examples I've enjoyed include: Chilling Tales for Dark Nights, Doctor Horror, or any creepypasta honestly. Buy a ton of dark chocolate and red wine. Or absinthe if you can scrounge it up.

Buy a lot of candles, and maybe a couple lanterns to put the candles inside, and spend cozy nights warmly illuminated by some great candles. There are a lot of candle companies that can make great fall scents, but even better are those that specifically cater to the holiday crowd. I have one particular candle in my possession that I adore, I purchased it from an Oddities store before they stopped carrying it, but the candle maker themselves still create them and sell on their website (wertherandgray.com): Werther and Gray, their "Dark Series" scented candles are all based on scary concepts. My own candle is the Mummy's Curse which smells amazing and yet they describe the smell as this exactly- old cotton and incense. Which. I don't know how just that gives me this incredible smell of something kind of old, kind of ancient, but wonderfully pungent and something I definitely cannot find replicated at Bath and Body Works.

Learn a little conversational Latin! Pull it out for you best pals or the worst nosey bystanders who like to drop into your conversations. Everyone involved will have a great time, even better if you learn how to roll your eyes into your head while still talking to them.

Watch all of Rob Zombie's movies. Particularly, my favorites Lords of Salem, 31, and El Superbeasto. All the Halloween classics plus a few arthouse newbies if you care to.

Storm Michaels and Joanne's Fabrics to take care of all your decoration needs. Cobwebs, opaque and fluttery textiles for fashioning "ghosts" and elaborate skirts or coverings for your furniture. You don't have to go through all the trouble of painting every room black if you buy a ton of posters and long sheets.

Look, the point is that Halloween is whatever you make it. It can be a horrible disappointment. Or it can be even more amazing than any year before. It's all up to you, and that is the real fun part. With so much lost to the turmoil of the year, don't you feel as if there's a real need to make your special events really count? Have you found yourself dressing up a little more, or taking the time to go on drives or walks to really take in the world now that it seems a little more closed off? I know I have. Before all this, when I used to just go to work and go home, and stay home and bury myself in chores on days off . . . I was kind of miserable. Now? I don't know, yeah a lot of my plans have had to change in this new world. Lot of concerts I'd hoped to attend are off, a lot of festivals, and a lot of chances to explore this new me I wanted to embrace are gone. It's not forever though, and it still isn't impossible to try and be a new person even now. Nor is it impossible to keep to your old traditions. I find in myself a new zeal; chomping at the bit, I want to embrace a whole new mindset now thanks to the very jarring realization that life is not going to wait for you to get to a place where you feel like you're doing okay. Make moves or be moved.

That's the motto for life now. That same motto is going to collide spectacularly with Halloween now, I think, because with the reality of how fleeting things are in this life why wouldn't those who have loved Halloween all their lives cling to it with extra fervor now? No, no . . . Halloween isn't cancelled.

It's been altered. So take advantage of this Altered State (hey, shoutout to Academy of Villains ha!), and embrace the Darker Side of things once more with a new appreciation.

Halloween is coming up soon . . .

Tick, tock . . .