Who's the Cra-Z-est of Them All?

Ladies and Gentlemen—let's get ready to Evaluate! Who's more messed up.

Patient #1—Freddy Krueger

The story went poor Freddy's mom worked as a nurse in a Psychiatric facility. One night though she was stuck in the facility and was raped repeatedly by 1,000 inmates which we all knew Freddy's new nickname: Son of a Thousand Maniacs. Now that was pretty mean on the playground being made fun of.

Freddy grows up and gets married. They have a beautiful house on—you guessed it, Elm Street. Did I mention he also had a little daughter? Oh, you all have seen her jumping rope singing that beautiful little rhyme.

One, two Freddy's coming for you!

You were singing along, weren't you? Me too.

Now, something was not clocking right in that head of his. So he starts making weapons (that sharp glove we all got to know) in the basement of his house. His wife catches him and of course, tells him:

Stop or I'm going to tell the whole neighborhood what you are doing.

Why oh why did she have to say that. He decides to strangle her while his daughter walks in and sees the whole thing. (Talk about continuing screwing up childhoods). He tells his daughter it's their little secret, but you know kids—they will babble away.

The neighborhood parents find out and take his daughter away from him. Boy did they piss him off even more.

He turned into a pedophile and a killer. He would bring the kids down to his hideout at the school's boiler room.

He did get arrested but was released and the parents got very angry. So what did they do? Well, they took matters into their own hands and found his hideout and torched the place with him inside. Only—he didn't die.

Instead, he became a demon and had eternal life in dreams. Come on, really? So how did he get his revenge now? By killing all the children of the parents that burned him in their dreams.

Thanks, mom, and dad. You really know how to brighten a child's future, just by dreaming. Go for your dreams—yeah, more like run like hell from your dreams. So the next time you see a man wearing a red and green sweater with knives for a hand and a hat—WAKE UP!

Patient #2—Michael Myers

"I met him, 15 years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding; even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six year old child with this blank, pale, emotionless face, and the blackest eyes; the devil's eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply…evil."

― Sam Loomis

We all remember when Dr. Loomis was telling that to the sheriff in the first Halloween movie. So what led to this poor child turning into a psycho Halloween killer?

Back on Halloween 93 Michael was a young 6-year-old boy living with his family in Haddonfield, Illinois. He had two Sisters—older sister Judith and little sister whom we all know as Laurie Strode (She was adopted into the Strode Family after her parents were killed in a car accident).

Halloween night, he dressed as a clown and witnessed his older sister having relations with her boyfriend. He grabbed a knife and when she was alone he stabbed her and killed her. (Just the thought of clowns right now gave me the heebie-jeebies.)

His parents sent him to the Sanitarium where Dr. Loomis was working with him to find out why he did what he did. With no real answer or truth, he simply gave up hope.

It was 15 years later and Michael decides he wants to jump ship with perfect timing while they were to take him to court. He found his younger sister Laurie and pursued her until she would be dead too. Turn around of events she ended up killing him. Or so she thought.

His evilness led him to go on a rampage killing every family member left behind, nieces and nephews. I mean you would think that he would at least try to have a decent relationship with his family. But no—he just went on killing. But somehow as many times as they would try to kill him—he just came back for more.

His own niece Jamie tried to have a small moment with him when she was hiding in the coffin. She called himUncle and for a moment he had a tear. Then he tried to kill her. Way to spoil the mood man.

Poor Laurie had to fake her death a few times so he wouldn't be able to find her. But, there he was silent and deadly just waiting to kill her.

It's been almost 40 years. Isn't it time he finally found some peace? What is he now—in retirement? Like seriously.

Patient # 3—Jason Voorhees

"There's a legend around here. A killer buried, but not dead. A curse on Crystal Lake, a death curse. Jason Voorhees' curse. They say he died as a boy, but he keeps coming back. Few have seen him and lived. Some have even tried to stop him... No one can. People forget he's down there, waiting..."―The Narrator

Now, this is a story about a loving mother and son. A mother protecting her son and a son protecting his mother. Or going on revenge for his mother.

Young Jason was not like your average boy. He had severe facial deformities and hydrocephalus which meant he a huge head and mental disabilities. His mother was taking care of him and didn't want children to make fun of him so she hid him from the world and basically homeschooled him. As you can see it brought a big bond with his mother.

His mother worked as a cook at Camp Crystal Lake, so when she couldn't find a babysitter for Jason, she brought him along. Due to the fact that he was left out of society, the kids at the lake were starting to bully him.

One day the bullies ran him down to the lake where he fell in the water and drowned. No camp counselors were around to save him. Now that infuriated Mama Voorhees. They could not find his body so they ended up shutting down the camp. Til a year later when it reopened and Mama Voorhees went on a revenge and killed the two counselors blaming them for his death. She wasn't a suspect of these murders but due to the horror story of the killing, the camp was nicknamed "Camp Blood."

Now Jason was somehow revived and hid in the forest but his mother never knew where he was, For 20 years he waited around Camp Crystal Lake for her and they never reunited—how sad.

Mama Voorhees ended up being killed by one of the founder's children of the camp with a machete. And what did Jason do when he found out? You guessed it—he went on a killing spree and hasn't stopped since. Now that's a good mama's boy. Especially when momma tells you who to kill.

Maybe a little group therapy could help?

I wonder if you would put all these guys in a room for group counseling what would happen?

They clearly all suffer from family issues and revenge. Freddy with the neighbors and townspeople. Michael with his family that put him in the looney bin, and Jason going after the people that drowned him and killed his mother and all that were attached. Maybe somehow they can share their feelings. Or probably just kill each other.

Come to think of it, didn't Freddy play with Jason's mind a little bit in Freddy Vs Jason. Talk about really screwing with your brains there. But Jason taught him a lesson. Or did he?

So who do I think was the craziest of them all? Hands down it's Michael Myers. Just that stare creeps me out especially since he doesn't really speak that much. Eeck. That's my opinion though upon reading about their histories. There are so many more looney psycho killers out there, even crazy real ones. Looking forward to analyze them as well.

WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE???