When Monsters Hide

Shield your eyes.

But if you must look, if you are too curious, I cannot stop you.

Here lies the scariest image you will ever come across. What you don’t realize is that you have seen it every halloween, for the past seven or so years, but your eyes have deceived you. You have fallen prey to it’s trap and illusion. What is it? Is it an alien creeping the Midwestern woods, here on earth to take over a town? Is it the ghost of an ancient mansion, finally captured on film? Is it a demon released from hell? Is it a witch flying through the forest?

No.

It’s a girl, an “influencer,” if you will, in a blue wig, trying to get an Instagram photo.

Demons run, ghosts hide, witches flee, monsters crawl back into the closet, and aliens fly off to another planet, when a millennial girl, trying to get the perfect halloween photo, comes on the scene. You’ll hear her approaching from far away. A laugh that echos through suburbs, cities, and farmlands. It silences the wolf’s howl under a full moon. She’s laughing while posing for that camera, trying to show her followers that she’s having a good time. She will stop at nothing. She will yell at her photographer (usually the boyfriend) and take picture after picture, until she finds a photo worthy for social media. This is a form of torture unlike any ghost, psychopath, or demon could muster up. She’s in no hurry. The torture develops slowly over time. Finding the perfect photo might mean taking hundreds, thousands of bad photos first. Snap. Snap. Snap. Photo after photo, the weary photographer will stand there, as the torturer poses, reviews the photo, critiques the photographer, and poses again. Their knees might grow weak. Their thumbs might turn numb from clicking. Their ears might bleed from the constant critique.

“Don’t angle it that way and make my legs look big!” the influencer might growl.

“Don’t use portrait mode, that makes my face look big!” she might snarl.

Once she has found the “right” photo, the photographer, (let’s call them the Instagram Boyfriend for now), might think their job and the torture, is finished. No. It has only begun. He must now sit by her as she goes through filter after filter debating on the perfect one. They are all so similar, they will begin to look the same to his tired eyes, but she sees the differences and will continue to seep through the options and make him sit there, until his eyes are worn down. But the night has just begun. A new round of photos will emerge, this time selfies, with him in it. Again, she’s in no hurry and will slowly wear down her prey with photo after photo. Click. Click. Click.

She has a talent for illusion. We shall call her the modern illusionist. When the photo of her laughing in costume is released to the masses via Instagram, it may seem like she’s having a good time dressed up, and posing in a “spontaneous” photo. Don’t fall for it! She’s tricked us! It took hours of posing, editing, writing copy, and hashtag research to get the perfect post.

Halloween is approaching fast and we must all be ready! Don’t fall for the tricks and the illusions. If you are prey to being the photographer, set rules: only 3 photos allowed! Ban cameras if you must! If you are the Instagram girl and turn into a photo-hungry psychopath once your costume is on, set boundaries for yourself. Lock yourself away until the sun rises. Halloween is a night where anything can happen and we must take precautions.

P.S. The Instagram girl mentioned above may or may not be yours truly and you can find her posts here:

https://www.instagram.com/nataliespack/