What would you do as a zombie?

Life would be a lot less stressful if I were a zombie. After all, I don't have to eat, drink or buy a house.

If I should be lucky enough to retain any sense at all, it would be a blessing.

I want to be tough on everybody, tough on the survivors, tough on my own kind. I'm going to yell at them to leave me alone, become a lone zombie, so I don't have to follow them after some poor, boring survivor.

I think I will climb the hillside to look at the moon in the middle of the night. Maybe not in a day, so go a few more days. Never let me meet survivors, I am afraid of my boring appetite outbreak, more afraid of survivors hand pistol or big stick. I'm afraid of pain. I don't know if zombies can feel pain, but it's best not to try.

I wanted to sit on the hillside and scream at the moon for nothing. The zombies that scream on the streets, on the subway, in train stations, to me, are no different than dogs. And I like this, howling at the moon, the worst is also a dog, than they do not know where to go high.

If I could, I would also like to go fishing. I would go to an empty tackle shop in the city and get the most expensive fishing rod. Then I would fish in a fish pond owned by a local millionaire. If it changes, I'll just point at it and laugh and call you big zombie.

I'm gonna go eat cake at the bakery, because I guess zombies aren't afraid of cavities anymore. Even if a tooth goes bad, I can pull it out myself, because I'm a tough zombie. The only sad thing is, maybe my sense of taste has deteriorated and I can't taste how good the cake is. On the other hand, eating bad cake doesn't make you feel too bad.

I also want to paint, to be the last artist in human history, the first artist in zombie history. I'm going to open an exhibition of zombies, and it's going to be a solo show, and I'm going to open it at the train station, where there's a lot of zombies, and I'm probably going to stop using human stuff like paint, and I'm going to use zombie paint -- blood, bloody art is my zombie art.

And then I still have to tell the story. If I can find my love again, and she has the misfortune to become one of my kind, I will continue to tell her beautiful stories. If she did not retain any sense as I did, I would tie her to a moonlit tree, and I would sit beside her and tell the stories we used to tell a hundred times. We may not be able to say anything but yell at each other, but so what, we're all full of amazing stories.

I ask, do I tell a story that is loud or not? Of course she does. Roar.

People are afraid of being a zombie, because death is already so terrible, and a death so terrible is unacceptable. If being a zombie can lead such a life, then, being a zombie can be considered a kind of happiness.

Of course, you say, zombies can't do these things.

But today, I'm not a zombie, and I can't do these things.

So I, and many of you here today, are actually zombies.

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It's not a virus, it's a cold blood.