Through Her Eyes

Rain blasts against the broken window pane, but I just keep staring out, wondering when it will shatter fully… when the whole house will crumble down around me. The storm is raging, but no one else seems worried by it.

“It’s just a little rain…” mother had said earlier.

Just a little rain… yes, just a little rain to tear apart a world.

I close my eyes, pulling the thick drapes closed, to keep a little of the wind at bay. I fall back onto my bed and try to steady my wild breath. They don’t know it’s about to get worse… that they’re about to lose her.

No one ever does… they never heed my warnings.

What a shame… I think, closing my eyes tightly… waiting for it to start.

The wind is always the first sign… and then the rain. At the first crack of thunder I will start to feel it in my bones… and when the lightning finally shows, then I’ll be nothing here anymore. Just… just like last time… and the time before that. I’ll be someone new. And these poor souls will regret having taken in the stray girl with an upturned nose and hazel eyes.

There’s the thunder now… it shakes the house. A tear trickles down my cheek as I clench my fists. It’s happened so many times… so why does it still hurt?

Damn… I wish I’d said goodbye to David.

The lightning flashes and the world is bright for one moment… and then it’s gone. All gone.

I wonder who I’ll be this time… I wonder if this curse will end in her life? Maybe she’ll be the lucky one… I doubt it though.

Anyone that’s chosen is marked for death. I feel bad for her, really… whoever she is. I mean… whoever I am.

*****

I blink multiple times, trying to banish the nightmares of the old life. That last one probably hurt the most… that strike right through my soul. I always remember the last life, but I wish I knew my purpose. It’s the only thing I can never understand.

“Serenity Laney Downes! Get down here!” A woman’s voice calls in a surprisingly musical way. She sounds mad, yet her voice is oddly calming.

I finally open my eyes fully, trying to take in the overly bright room. It’s not familiar… not that it should be, I guess. But… I’m always a little disheartened, hoping that maybe this time I’d still be in the same skin, have the same laugh… the same voice.

I shiver out a sigh and force myself to stand on unsteady legs. I heave out a few steadying breaths, and it’s funny how even her breath sounds gentle -- my breath, I remind myself. I glance down her—my— body. Dressed in a flowing white nightgown… it shows more skin than the last I’d worn. There are little embroidered roses all over the thin shift. Then I notice the lily white fingers clenching the blue duvet.

I let out one last sigh before letting myself stand upright, and start walking towards the vanity in the corner. I’m always nervous the first time… it’s very unsettling to not know what to expect when you look in the mirror. I still remember my last face too… her name was Tammy. She had tanned skin from living on an island her whole life… and she had those bright hazel eyes.

I can’t remember my first face though… not anymore. It’s been too many years, too many lives lived since. I remember my eyes though… blue. Not like the sky… not like the ocean… just deep blue. I remember someone once saying no one should have eyes so deep… no change in color inside of them. It was an omen— too deep. Too dark.

I shiver, sighing deeply as I force myself to open my new eyes, to see if I can get a peek into the girl whose body I’ve claimed. She stares back at me with an apprehensive glare, probably asking the questions her mistress soul can now never ask—why have you stolen my life? I’m sorry Serenity, but I don’t know.

She’s pretty, with soft white-blonde curls that fall all around her delicate neck. She’s all long limbs, and graceful features. Honestly, if I had to guess what an angel would look like, I’d imagine she looked like Serenity. And finally her hypnotizing deep blue eyes stare back at me… and I gasp. Maybe I’m just imagining them… I… I have to be. They can’t be mine… but never have I seen those eyes again. I take a shaking hand and move it towards my eyes, waving my fingers in front of them, but they remain as deep and odd as ever.

“Serenity! Hurry up! You’ll be late for the first day of your last year!” That’s a foretelling if I ever heard one. It’s always only a year. Always. One year. And for whatever reason, this is Serenity’s last year. Poor girl.

I take one last uncertain look at my new reflection… with the eyes that look too familiar. It’s unsettling, “Just need to get dressed.” I call back, my voice so sweet and musical… this girl is definitely the most elegant creature I’ve ever seen.

The first time it happened, I thought I was having a nightmare… but when I’d go to bed each night and kept waking up as my host, I realized it was oh too real. That’s all I remember about the first though… and that she’d seemed like a lonely girl. I wish I could say all the girls followed a set series of traits, but they didn’t. They were all wildly different… but all of them were bordering on important decisions in their lives. It’s not as if the decisions I made for them mattered though…

I throw on a willowy dark red dress, though the majority of her clothes surprise me… mostly tightly fitted pants and shirts. The last girl was from the early 1900s, so this girl must be from later. It’s been awhile since I’ve been in this sort of time… so I guess the dress comforts me..

I hurry from my room, cautiously taking in my surroundings. Her house is lovely… with light blue walls and soft natural light touching every surface. This is a calming place, but it’s funny my host body doesn’t feel calm… she feels trapped.

That’s one thing I’ve never been able to handle about this life… dealing with both my own emotions and feelings based on my experiences, and then simultaneously feeling hers too just as strongly as my own. As if to remind me I’m both of us and neither of us at the same time. I lead a half life that lasts forever.

I cautiously pad down the stairs, my wide blue eyes watching worriedly as if I should expect a monster around the corner. I hate how anxious this host is…. is this not her home? If it’s not, it’s not a bad place to be trapped. I quietly command my body to relax. It becomes easier when the smell of bacon and pancakes wafts towards me.

There’s a knock at the door, and a woman with hair so white I can’t tell if it’s blonde or not, moves past me to open it. My breath quickens, but I don’t know why. “Oh, come in, Cory.” She says.

A breath catches in my chest and the world moves in slow motion. The young man is tall and beautiful... his is hair dark and filled with wild curls, his eyes are a dangerous blue that looks straight into my soul when he sees me staring at him.

As he offers a seductive, playful smirk, I instantly know that Serenity’s decision involves this man. I’ve never struggled to stay away from whatever was dangerous for these women before, trying to make the choices they couldn’t. As I look at Cory though, I have a feeling I’ll make the same mistake Serenity would have, if it really involves him.

I’m sorry Serenity... I guess you won’t be the one to break this curse.