The River Hymn

The sky is a ghost, stretching all around her. Zo imagines she has been swallowed up by the spirit of a whale, one that knows the way back home. She can see twice the length of her own body in every direction before whisps of white cloud her vision. Her skin is cool and wet but her throat is scratched dry from screaming out for her parents. Last she saw them, they were standing on the hill that separates the flat valley from the river. They told her not to walk towards it, and she wanted to listen, but another voice was louder and more beautiful.

A comforting song That seemed familiar, yet she isn't sure if she has heard it before. Zo has an amazing memory. She remembers the first time she ever caught a fish, the first time a butterfly landed on her shoulder, the first time her dad threw her into the pool. But she can not remember where she has heard this song before.

The song gets louder and more desperate, it sounds like a heavenly cry from the core of the moon. In front of her feet, the grass ends at a large grey boulder. Zo reaches a small shaking hand out to the boulder, which is slippery and wet. It’s blocking her from the song emanating from the empty space ahead. Something about the boulder feels wrong, her mother’s face appears in her mind. “Don’t ever play on the rocks.” Zo has heard it so many times before “They’re slippery, you could fall and hurt your head!” Just as Zo is about to turn around, that beautiful desperate song transitions and drops in tone. “ZO?” it says “Zo, where are you?”

Her father! Finally, he has found her! Maybe he followed the song, too. “Daddy!” Zo smiles and takes off her shoes before pulling herself onto the flat surface atop the boulder. On her belly, she spins around to land her feet on the other side of it. She sinks slightly into wet soft mud before jumping onto a smaller rock, letting her toes grip its edges to steady her. “Zo, is that you?”

“Daddy!” She is excited now, rushing to jump into his arms. Underestimating the space between the rocks under the mist, her foot slips and she lands face first in a shallow puddle. The big strong arms she expects to help her up, do not come. She pushes herself onto her knee’s with shivering hands, the cold wet air devouring her bones. “Daddy?” A response comes like a soft drum beat from the valley behind her. “Daddy?” She repeats between gritted teeth.

The drum beats again, slightly louder this time, and she swears it is calling her back. Saying her name. Softly glowing orbs draws her attention forward to the ice-cold river. She stares at them, so mesmerized that the voice from behind her disappears again leaving silence for the song to take over. She doesn’t know the song’s ancient language - but it feels like home. She leans into it, crawling on hands and knees into the ice water where yellow glowing orbs dance just above the surface. The water is up to her chin now. Her freezing body goes unnoticed, the luminous orbs floating through the air and the beautiful song takes her full attention.

Until the mist parts between her and the center of the river, where her mother stands, arms outstretched, her smile grand and beautiful. “MOMMY!” Zo calls, accidentally swallowing some of the murky water beneath her. She chokes slightly, gagging on its salty mud taste. “It’s okay baby, come here! I’ve been looking for you.”

Her mother looks more beautiful than ever. A veil of mist falling off of her hair, golden orbs reflecting beautiful specs of light off of her face. Her big smile bares white and shining teeth. Before Zo gives in to the urge to swim out to her mother, another instinct takes over. A warning, a knowing. She doesn’t know that smile. It’s too white. Her mother’s arms aren’t that long and skinny. Her eyes aren’t so big, too excited with so much white showing. Her hair is soaking wet against her back but she isn’t shivering. “Baby! Come here, baby girl!” Mommy doesn’t move. Neither does Zo. “Can you come here?” Zo asks cautiously, afraid to out-right defy this… person. The white mist is closing in, the cold water shutting down her body. “No, baby, you have to come to me. It’s okay, you can float. Just push off and I’ll catch you”

Zo realizes that Mommy isn’t moving her lips. Her smile remains frozen, her sparkling white teeth bared. Zo wants to turn and swim back to the boulders, but her body is so tired and cold. Her chest heaves just to scream as loudly as she can “I want to go back!” For the first time, the creature that looks like her mother flinches. Tears fall from her eyes and into the river below her, stirring its current. “But you came to me,” It says as the flat river forms waves that splash and lift Zo up before pulling her in towards the creature. Right before Zo is enveloped by the wave, she hears that drumbeat call her name again, followed by two big splashes.

In the frosted dark river, Zo feels a thousand needle pierce her skin and lungs. A high pitched ringing vibrates around her skull. Three sets of cold hands wrap around her limbs and pull at her body. She can’t tell what direction they are pulling her in. White splotches saturate the dark river before taking over her sight, leaving her floating into numbness.

Zo regains consciousness with a crushed skull. At least, that’s how it feels. She is awake for small flashes of time. The foggy valley shaking manically bellow her, her father’s arms cradling her against his chest. The warmth of her house, the tall candlestick in the window burning an orange flame. The fire blazing in the fireplace, her mother sat in front of the flames, stroking her throbbing head. Green glowing stars on the ceiling finally wake her fully. She tastes metal in her mouth. Beside her, her mom sits in an old rocking chair. Her face is etched with worried lines, it's puffy and red as if she has been crying. High pitched beeps make Zo jump.

“Shhhh” Mother reaches down towards her face “Just a thermometer. You finally broke your fever.” Zo is confused by the sentence, isn’t “broke” a bad thing? “That’s good,” Mother says, realizing Zo’s confusion. “Am I in trouble?” Zo asks, pulling the covers up just under her eyes. She tries not to remember the Mommy she saw in the river. “Not tonight. Daddy and I will talk with you about that tomorrow. Tonight just sleep. I’ll be here with you when you wake up, don’t worry.”

“I got lost. I heard someone singing…”

“Shhh baby, don’t worry. Just sleep now, we will talk about it tomorrow.” Mother leans forward to tuck the blanket under Zo’s chin. Damp hair falls from Mother’s shoulders onto the blanket.

“Did you pull me out of the water? Did you see the other Mommy?” Zo asks, feeling herself get sleepy in her warm bedroom. Her eyelids are so heavy, they can hardly stay open.

“Daddy and I both jumped in to get you. No one else was there. Now go to sleep, baby.”

Zo struggles to keep her eyes open but feels a strong need to. Mother starts to hum a peaceful song that soothes them both. Mist falls through the open window behind Mother’s rocking chair. Before Zo can fully relax into this mundane comfort that feels ethereal tonight, Mother’s hum starts to sound familiar. Unable to move, Zo just watches Mother’s face seemingly lose control of her smile which spreads too far. The same song that called Zo to the river fills her room now, emanating from Mother. Golden bright orbs float in with the mist which quickly spirals around the room.

“You’re not my mommy” Zo manages to whisper, frozen to her spot on the bed.

Mother’s sickening smile weavers only slightly. She tilts her head so that river water spills from her ear and dribbles onto the soft blue carpet. “But, darling, I am the mother of all things.”

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