The Parasite

“Hey Lynette, you busy?” “Nahhh, just finished with my last patient. What’s up?” “I was thinking of dropping by your clinic. Would that be okay?” Dakota asked. “Of course! Are you alright, or do you have some juicy gossip for me?” Lynette chuckled. Dakota rolled her eyes, “Ugh, I wish! Unfortunately, I’m not feeling too great.” “Oh! What’s wro—” “I’ll explain when I get there”, Dakota hung up. ~~~~~ “Dr. Verlice is waiting in her office for you”, the receptionist, Becky, greeted Dakota with a smile as she walked in. “Okay, thanks Becky.” Dakota knocked on Lynette’s door but didn’t wait for a response before entering. “Oh my God, Dakota! You look awful!” “Hello to you too.” “Sorry, hi! But seriously, what happened to you?!” “That’s what I’m hoping to find out. I’ve been feeling so nauseous for weeks now, throwing up at least once a day.” “Could be food poisoning, but go on, what other symptoms?” “I feel bloated all the time, and there’s this constant, dull stomach pain.” “Hmmm…how’s your appetite?” “Ravenous! I’m eating like a beast, only to throw up afterwards, so hard you’d think I’m turning into a werewolf!” “That’s quite the exaggeration, but I’ll let it slide”, Lynette stifled a giggle. “I’m guessing you’re fatigued too, right?” “Yeah, that too!” “Do you remember eating anything unusual prior to all of these?” “I can barely remember what I ate for breakfast”, Dakota grinned sheepishly. “You’re useless, you know that?” Dakota gasped in mock offense, “Do you talk to all of your patients that way?” Lynette, lost in thought, barely registered what Dakota asked, “Nausea, bloating, fatigue…yeah, sounds like a classic case of tapeworm or some other foodborne parasite. We’ll start with a blood test and a stool sample.” “Oh, wait! Come to think of it, I had sushi about a month or two ago. Do you think it came from that?” “Possibly, but we’ll know more after we test your stool sample”, Lynette handed her a sample container. “And my nurse will draw some blood. It’ll take a few days for the results. In the meantime, I’ll prescribe some medication to help manage the symptoms.” “You are the best! Thank you!” ~~~~~ Dakota’s phone pinged:

Yo, where u at? Ur results are in. Drop by the clinic asap

Lynette got a swift reply:

Still at work. Be there in an hour or 2

~~~~~ “Okay, hit me with it. I’ve got a parasite inside of me, don’t I?” Lynette’s face was unreadable, “Yes, you do, and—” “I’ll stop you right there before you get all doctor-y on me. Just give me the medicine to get rid of it.” “Are you sure you don’t want to know—” “Positive. Just tell me what I need to take.” “Oookayyy, if you say so. I’ll be right back.” Lynette returned with two strips of pills and a glass of water. She handed them to Dakota. “This is a single dose—take it now”, she said, pointing to the first strip with a single pill. Dakota swallowed the pill and examined the second strip, which had four pills, “When do I take these?” “Tomorrow, same time. Take all four at once. You’ll start to feel it working within a few hours. Expect some abdominal discomfort as your body expels the parasite, and possibly some pain too.” “Thanks, Lynette. I’ll text you tomorrow to let you know how it went.” ~~~~~ Dakota called in sick the next day, anticipating the many toilet trips she’d need, to fully expel the parasite. Three hours after taking the pills, she felt mild pain in her lower abdomen that quickly grew more intense. She rushed to the toilet, only to find she’d gotten her period. The timing couldn’t have been worse. Sitting on the toilet, she waited, unable to tell if her pain was from period cramps or a bowel movement—she didn’t want any accidents. As the minutes passed, the pain escalated, and soon she was doubled over. When she lifted her head slowly from her knees, she noticed the toilet bowl was filled with blood. Her period had never been this heavy, this quickly before. She looked closer. Are those clots? She’s never had clots this large before. Despite the blinding pain, Dakota cleaned up and texted Lynette:

I’m in terrible pain. Period cramps. My flow is wayyy heavier than usual and there are huge clots. Could the parasite medication have interfered with my period?

Lynette replied an hour later:

Oh good, the parasite is out. Sorry ur in pain, tho. I’ll drop by after work.

Dakota was confused:

No, I’ve not pooped yet. I just got my period.

Lynette clarified:

Yes and that’s why I said the parasite is out.

Dakota was stunned:

Wdym the parasite is out? What kinda parasite gets expelled thru period?!

Lynette replied:

An embryo, duhhhh!

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