A bad day turned into an even worse night.
Nightmares occur all over the world. Every person in the world has had a nightmare at some point in their life. Some haunt us. Some are recurring. Some may only have a nightmare here and there. Some are traumatic. Some can, on rare occasions, even be comical.
Just like you, I too have nightmares. Maybe some of you reading these strange and occasionally hellish chapters will find them amusing. Some of you may become sick to your stomachs. Others may just read these stories and think. “Hey, that’s not so bad.” I have spoken to friends and relatives of my bad dreams. Much like you, who choose to read about the ways my subconscious torments me, these people have varying reactions.
Some have asked if I might try eating healing crystals to make them stop. Some have recommended I try a technique called “Dream Spinning.” Others brush them off. “Grow up,” they Say. Or use my favorite response: “You just have a vivid imagination.” These reactions bring no comfort to those who suffer vivid, paralyzing, dream state traumas.
Nightmares can torment us. Nightmares can warn us of undesirable future events. They can on even rarer occasions hit you while you’re wide awake. Or shock you back to your most alert senses just before you’re about to slip under the waves of deep sleep.
Some say the worst nightmares are the ones you can’t remember. The ones that wake you in a cold, shaking sweat and you can’t remember why your fears have you trembling so much.
If you are one of these people, I implore you to count yourself lucky. Because I believe the worst nightmares are the ones that your mind cannot repress. There is no hiding or running from the worst of a bad dream. On occasion, the most you could do to protect your sanity is to let your mind or psyche shatter. To compartmentalize the many facets of your personality.
My nightmares haunt me. Like starved pythons, they wind themselves around my consciousness and crush my sense of sanity and safety.
But these same nightmares, as much as they have tormented me, also teach me. When I experience my own death in these painfully vivid worlds, I am pushed to assume that transformation is taking place. A small comfort when you’re witnessing and feeling a stampede of horses breaking a great many of my bones underfoot. Or tortured by a madman. Or wondering if you’ll ever see your loved ones again.
You can choose to stop reading now. To turn a blind eye to these psychological tortures. Some authors would beg you to save yourself. Plead with you not to explore the frozen pits of hell. Or witness the grotesque asylums filled with doctors who are far more insane than their patients.
I am not one of those authors. This chapter will be your only warning. This chapter is your only chance to turn back.
If you have chosen to continue this journey, then I can only assume that you either have a very sick and twisted sense of curiosity. Or you too are a “creepypasta” fan. Or an avid reader of H.P. Lovecraft, or Edgar Allan Poe. That you appreciate reading about such horrifying content. Or watching movies such as The Human Centipede, American Horror Story, or The Conjuring. While I have never seen these famed movies and shows, I can tell you that some of these chapters are just as horrifying.
From author to reader, I do not fault you for these curiosities. I too enjoy the occasional horror movie or book. The greatest beauty can be found in the greatest tragedy. In fact, if you do truly enjoy reading the aforementioned authors, then you may also enjoy this chronicle of my own psyche.
Some of these horrors, you may assume are fictions. Mere ramblings and thoughts of some poor twisted soul. Yet every dream is a chapter. Every chapter is an event. They are real. As real as the screen or page in front of your eyes. These grievous experiences may haunt you in ways different from how they haunt me. They may haunt you in the same ways they haunt me. They may not haunt you at all. You may think of them as a bunch of horrific acid trips. If only they were bad acid trips. If only they were drug induced. Maybe then there would be some way to stop them.
Too bad nothing has worked.