The Door Within

"There was only one rule: Don't open the door."

But why? I ask myself. I am already here. Who would know? I stand, the beating of my heart growing louder and louder as my hand trembles, as if it had a mind all its own...inching toward the cold bronze, metalic knob upon the old, cracked wooden door.

I must fight it! I pull my hand away. My mind races through all the possible scenarios of what I could possibly find. What was I feeling? Was it uncertainty, was it fear or was it the sheer profound shame of craving to do something I should not.

It stood there, beckoning me, eliciting its ominous energy, drawing me closer. I can't...look...no...don't look...but it drew me. Paralyzing, taking control of my thoughts, my mind!

Darkness began to surround me, taking over my very sense of being. I needed to find the light. But where?

How is it that I find myself here?

Caught between the transient existence of shadows within my mind. Fight it, I say, fight it!

But how?!

My breath escapes me as I grasp onto my chest. I force myself to close my eyes so as not to see it, but its energy...its energy is piercing through my skin! An inexorable feeling overcoming the very depths of who I believed to be. Fight it! I...can...do...this.

I try to inch myself away...slowly...breathe...focus...breathe...walk away...'don't open the door'...'don't open the door'...look for that light...it is hiding, just beyond...breathe...

My arm reaching forth, yet again. A cold chill enters me then, down to the core of my bones!

Breathe! Close...my...eyes...don't look...pull away, turn!

Just one look, looking cannot hurt me. I...got...this! Breathe...slowly, trepidatiously...the hand shaking, yet without hesitation the knob is turned...just one look...