The COVID-19 Marathon

Alright, y'all. Tis the COVID-19 season to wear sweatpants, off the shoulder jumbo sweaters, and a cup of coffee or tea on hand. There may be a spot on your shirt from where you tripped earlier or walked too fast with it in your hand, and it splashed on you.

Oh well.

So today, I'm bringin' ya Horror flicks! And comedies! And just a mess of shit!

At this point, we're all bored. Some of us have been lucky enough to go back to work and make some money. Some are out of luck with work but collecting unemployment, and sadly some can't get employment nor unemployment. So, to save what sanity we have left, I've compiled some movies and shows alike to keep you entertained. At least for the next week.

I would do a typical 'Top 10' of Horror flicks, but that happens too often, and I also want to keep your spirits up during such a time. So let's start with a few shows and work towards our spooky season of slashes.

Up first, we've got Pen15. Y'all. If you haven't seen this, get. On. It. This show is nostalgia times 12, and by 12, I mean, we were all this age once and went through all these awkward-ass moments. You'll watch this show and have flashbacks when you went through the same thing. You'll cringe and laugh--hopefully not cry—and laugh some more. (Hulu)

Next, we've got Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Most of us know this show by now, but if you haven't watched it or you started through a few episodes and stopped, you may as well start from the beginning again. Andy Sandberg has been a comedic relief for years, but it's a perfect storm between him and every other single member of the cast. (Hulu)

Now, this is one of my favorite shows and always will be. Eastbound and Down. The main characters consist of Danny McBride, Katy Mixon, and Steve Little. It's a bit older, starting back in 2009, but it will always be a classic for me. Kenny Powers is a washed-up baseball star and has to relocate to North Carolina to teach PE. But that's not the tip of it. Once you meet Stevie and April, you get to see the f****** up shenanigans they get into. (Showtime Max)

If you binge Netflix as much as we do, you've seen Russian Doll. Starring Natasha Lyonne, which I know you know that name, she once again plays a badass. Every day she comes alive (literally) after she's died the night before. It is much more than that, but I can't tell you everything, now can I?

These are just the binge-worthy shows. Now we get to move on to the movies.

The Wrong Missy has Rob Schneider, who meets his perfect girl at an airport and switches bags before leaving. To get it back to her, he texts her to meet back up—but he messages the wrong Missy. A blind date gone wrong. But was it a mistake? (Netflix)

Eurovision Song Contest has Will Ferrell and Rachel McAdams. While it's been argued to be based on a true story, alas, it is not. Although a movie, it is based on some real events. I will advise, not only is this movie great for laughs, you'll have to look up the band Dadi Freyr. They were actually in a Eurovision Song Contest, and their music videos are just great. I'm half tempted to learn their dances. (Netflix)

Okay, now we're on to what we've been waiting for. The spooky, the spoopy, the altogether cooky…Okay, that was a little too far. Anyways, these are some of the top (in my opinion) Horror and Thriller flicks.

Prodigy. You'll find this on Hulu. This movie is messed up. Like most of you, I've watched enough horror movies growing up that not much scares me movie-wise anymore. But this piece of work had me jumping a few times..and then laughing at myself afterward. This kid is born, and a bit of reincarnation is happening. Although the parents aren't aware of it, it slowly gets work and worse. This kid gets malicious, dangerous, and murders. I was wary of it at first, but it's definitely worth a watch.

Dismissed. Also, on Hulu, Dylan Sprouse plays a sadistic asshole to get perfect grades and his way. He manipulates every one around him and is a danger to those around him. And it's not the first time.

House of 1000 Corpses. This is a given, a classic, and the perfect EVERY month movie, not just October. Inspired by horror films from the 70s and directed by Rob Zombie, it's more than just a horror film. It's also a bit of a comedy. A psychotic family kidnaps and tortures a group of teenagers. (Hulu and Netflix)

He Never Died. This movie stars Henry Rollins, who is a f***** beast. He's immortal and a cannibal but stays at home as much as possible. And then his daughter is missing. And mobsters are after him. And I'm pretty sure Rollins turns out to be a biblical figure. See it for yourself. It's worth the watch. (Netflix)