Who would have thought that I would see the damn bug? But I did. I swear I did. When I walked into the kitchen, it was there, standing on the can of soup that was to be my meal for that night. It had been delivered the day before with some other items by the grocery store. Since I am compelled to stay inside, I do my shopping through the internet. You know, when one fight with his computer for hours to create a list of what he needs. And he must wait a week to get the stuff dispatched where he lives. Only to realize that half of what he asked for is missing.
So. What was I saying? Oh yes… the bug! It wasn’t moving. We looked at each other in silence. The intruder wasn’t much of a threat. It was enveloped in a red halo of a vaporous substance that made it easier to spot. The better if there was no light in the room. And forget about the huge teeth and horrible tentacles. It was just a spot, a speck, a mite.
I know. I know. You’re reading this and you’re asking yourself : what is this fellow thinking, staying there? He should fly out and come back with a space suit, ready for battle. Well, to do this, I would have had to be afraid. Strangely, I wasn’t. What I thought, though, was : how am I going to open that can of soup? Because, the thing is, I was hungry.
If that gnat believed it would make me to renounce my supper, I had news for it. What I would do is scratch the creature into oblivion. Not so hard to do, is it? Suffice to switch off the light. Then you see perfectly the small reddish aureole. You put your thumb on it and make the nuisance vanish.
So, that was the plan.
And the bug must have sensed somehow what I intended to do because it jumped out of its refuge and traveled all the way to my bedroom. As if I cared. I served myself a generous bowl of Minestrone and enjoyed eating it while listening to some politician on the TV telling us listeners to stay home and wash our hands ten times a day.
After a long night at doing nothing, I decided to sleep in my bed instead of my sofa. In the room, I discovered the nuisance right on my pillow. I approached the small reddish molecule, hoping my presence would be enough for it to move out.
In lieu of doing just that, it became bigger and bigger. So big that at first, I became reassured. No way a bug that big could get into me. And then it became large enough for me to recognize a face under a mass of yellow hair. This couldn’t be true. The bug was… the bug was …
Well, you figure it all by yourself.
He told me he had infected half the people in the country and it was now my turn.
This was more than enough to have me fly out of the apartment.