Tater Time

Tater Town

Cast aside the shadows and the doubts of where they are going and where they had been, the fistful of weary travelers stumbled into “Tater town Café and all you can eat Potato bar and diner” at a little bit before midnight to ease their achy bones. Weary from the road, the travelers were halfway home, a long lonely drive across the plain states with a stop here in Carson, Nevada. Unbeknownst to them, they were in for the night of their lives!

“Call me Curley” said Reginald “Curley” Hawksayer as he breezed into “tater town” just before midnight. Plopping down into the old, dilapidated, olive-green bench seat, Curley’s worn boots and faded denim pants made a “swooshing” sound as he slid across the cool vinyl seat, making himself comfortable in a dimly lit corner of the tattered tater establishment.

“Gimme an ashtray!” Curley barked at one of the waitresses as she leaned on a broom that she was aimlessly pushing toward the café’s doors.

“Ain’t no smokin’ in here noways, never you mind ‘bout the ashtray!” Barked Linsey, the surly waitress, right back into Curley’s direction. Curley, a long-haul trucker, was on his way to California to deliver a load of tractor parts to the Case tractor factor in Oxnard, was ornery and in no mood to be trifled with on his journey. All Curley wanted was smoke his primo, Dominican Republic made, Macanudo cigar and have a bite to eat. However, this belligerent, tired waitress was determined not to let that happen. Curley knew better, Curley would show this “bitch” a thing or two before the night was over!

“I’m goin’ to the shitter’, when I come back, I better have me some fresh eggs over easy, crispy bacon and coated and smothered ‘taters…. and a piping hot cup o’ black coffee on that their table!” piped Curley, Macanudo firmly planted in his mouth, as he veered toward the waitress and gestured with his long, nicotine stained, index finger striding past the kitchen on the way to the bathroom. Out of nowhere, a huge cloud of blue-grey cigar smoke suddenly filled the air as Curley fired up and chomped down on his beloved “Macanudo” cigar in the Men’s room just as plain as you please! This really chaps the testy waitress hide, as she re-adjusts her weight while firmly resting on her broom in a freshly agitated manner.

“Eh!!!Eh!! I can smell that stinky thing! Ye best put that thing out, I’ll send in ol’ Earl with the fire extinguisher, then you’ll really be sorry!” Screamed Linsey, the surly waitress from outside the Men’s room.

The stiff breeze emanating from outside flung the flimsy, wooden, double doors open with a mighty “feel-opp” sound as they banged against the inner walls of the “spudtastic” tater bar and diner.

“Sheweeeyyy! It’s a gusty one out there tonight!” Proclaimed Ted as he slipped and slid halfway through the doorway entering the diner. Ted “MadMan” Malone was a youngish fellow, barely 25 but already balding and slightly greying especially over the ears. Ted was new in town, having recently been re-located to the area by the sergeant’s military battalion after a cushy stint in San Diego. Sure, San Diego has some nice perks, the beach and the “California” lifestyle which Ted “Madman” didn’t mind at all, but the pay is way better here and he needed some perspective after spending way too much time chasing waves and tail on the beach. Ted was a bit of a wild child; he was a bit uncultivated in his younger years. On more than one occasion, he had been known to be the very first one to hit the beach for a bonfire party and the very last to close down the party many hours after the sun had gone down with everyone else at the party had long since retiring for the evening.

“Where ya want me to sit? Just anywhere?” Inquired Ted as he glanced toward the waitress while motioning to an entirely empty section of the restaurant.

“Here, there, anywhere! Sugar, it don’t make me no never mind noways!” smiled Shirley with a dopey half grin, suddenly a little bit smitten with the “Manman”. Ted hurried over to a small, well-lit table, seemingly in the middle of the restaurant, grabbed one of the cheap, laminated chairs and “pirouetted” the flimsy wooden thing on one leg and plopped down on it, chair facing backwards, resting his forearms on the back of the chair.

“So, tell me…..What’s fresh tonight?” quipped Ted in the direction of the waitress with a wry smile forming in the corner of his broad mouth.

“Just this smile, everything else is either microwaved or frozen and flash fried!” whispered the grouchy waitress, cupping her hands around her mouth to quiet her voice as she flipped her grey hair back out of her face while smiling at young Ted.

“I’ll take the Belgium waffles, with a side of sausage and scattered, smothered and covered taters….on the side, and…let’s see… a Chocolate malted shake.” Ted said, while dismissing the dirty, ketchup stained plastic menu in Shirley’s direction.

“Okay, sugar…you’re the boss…be right back with some water, excuse me!” Scowled the waitress, suddenly realizing that the cloud of smoke ruminating from below the men’s room door suddenly began billowing with a strange intensity, quickly filling the entire establishment. “Curley!!!Curley!!! Curl!!!” Screamed the waitress as she banged as hard as she could on the Men’s room door. But there was no response. Just a thick, smelly blue-black cloud of lung-clogging smoke pillowing out from the bottom of the Men’s room door! No movement, no sounds whatsoever. Just smoke, more and more smoke! “Earl, hey Earl!! Ya wanna’ come on out here with the fire extinguisher, we got us a fire in da men’s room!” screamed Shirley in the direction of the kitchen. Earl, a mid-50-year-old pear shaped man with a balding head, (save for the wisp of grey hair on the sides and the oh so fashionable grey comb-over directly on top of Earl’s sweaty scalp) covered in an old, stained ratty apron, ran out of the kitchen, busting through the grease stained kitchen doors, fire extinguisher in hand, with reckless abandon toward the men’s room, now completely engulfed in thick smoke. Earl grabbed a towel and covered his mouth and nose as he kicked open the men’s room door.

“Curley!! Curley!!! Put out that stinkin’ cigar! I’m a warnin’ you” shouted Earl as he turned the doorknob and pounced on the splintering, men’s room door, fire extinguisher ready to go. But the door never opened fully, consumed in the smoke the door instead hit something else on the other side of the door. Something massive, something that shoved the door back in Earl’s wrinkled, 5 o’clock shadowed face with a faint “thud” as the door ricocheted off Earl’s forehead instantly knocking him backwards!

“Earl! Hey Earl!! You okay? Earl……” bellowed out Shirley in a worried/confused tone of voice as Earl hit the ground like a sack of bricks. A long blue arm-like tentacle appeared from out of the bathroom, wrapped itself around Earl’s stubby leg, quickly grabbing him up as Earl barley held onto consciousness. With a powerful jerk, the muscular-blue tentacle effortlessly dragged Earl back into the smoke-filled bathroom with a loud “smack” as Earl’s lifeless body careened off the wall of the bathroom. Smoke now poured out of the men’s room, so thick you could not see anything else.

“ Aaahhhhhhhhhhh!!! Ear………..” shrieked Shirley as she watched Earl disappear into the bathroom. Suddenly another blue tentacle appeared out of the smoke filled bathroom, then another and another and they quickly found the source of the shrieking and wrapped all around Shirley starting with her head then her neck and finally grapping her feet and sweeping them out from underneath her. Shirley began to tumble, frozen in place in pure panic, the tentacles quickly drew her into the bathroom, a powerful low-pitched moan emanating from the Men’s room could now be heard as Shirley disappeared into the smokey abyss. The door to the bathroom flung open like a bull had rammed its way through it, the menacing blue tentacle creature now came into full view amongst the smokey atmosphere. Huge blood red eyes and a large, crusty pincer like mouth were now fully visible on the face of the hideous creature. The few other random patrons in the restaurant now began running for the exits of the establishment trampling anything and everything in its path. But the creature had other ideas, with a flick of his powerful blue tentacles he quickly scooped up and dispatched each patron, one by one! The creature would have his way, with the thick blue smoke billowing out of the “tater town” all you can eat potato bar and cafe late into the night, not ending until the entire establishment was completely destroyed by the mysterious creature, thick blue-grey smoke billowing out of every door and window!