Susie Schadenfreude

It is the first day of class at Yankton Middle School, and I am hopelessly lost. I was late to school this morning because I’d been running around looking for my shoes in boxes the movers had left. I glance again at the schedule in my hand, and I see that first period English is scheduled in Room 15. I then check each door’s number as I wander down the hallway to ensure it matches with my schedule.

I arrive at Room 15 just as the class bell rings, and I hurriedly find a desk near the back of the room. I settle into my seat and open my textbook to the page the teacher has indicated at the start of class. Upon doing so, I see a girl who is staring at me from a desk across the room. I return her glance and watch as she shifts uncomfortably in her seat before turning her attention back to the teacher.

An hour later, the class bell rings and I gather up my books for next period. I head out the door, only to run into the girl who was staring at me earlier. “Sorry about that.” I say, upon righting the books that were knocked askew in her hands. “What’s your name?"

“Susie.”

“Carrie,” I reply.

She looks at me with big, luminescent eyes, but otherwise doesn’t speak. Definitely a shy girl, I think to myself. “Where can I get something decent to eat around here. I’m starving.”

She observes me for a moment before saying, “McGinty’s on 3rd Street has pretty good burgers.”

“Thanks,” I say, as the warning bell rings. “I had better get to class. Later.”

“Later.” Susie replies, before drifting into the mass of students in the hallway.

Seven hours later, the final school bell rings, and I gather up my books and head to my locker. I am entering my combination when I feel someone’s eyes boring into me. I look up and see Susie, who is observing me with her large, doe-like eyes.

“I’m heading to McGinty’s now. Want to walk together?”

“Sure.”

I retrieve my books from the locker and walk with Susie to the restaurant. Upon arriving there, we snare a booth near the window and look over the menu while waiting to place our order.

“What’s good?”

“The All-American burger is the best.” Susie says.

I continue looking at the menu while waiting for the waiter to return. Out of the corner of my eye I see that Susie is doing the same. A few minutes later, a waiter hurries past our table carrying an assortment of food on a tray. He stops at a table across from us and attempts to balance the tray on his arm while serving the patrons’ dishes. As he leans forward to place a dish on the table, he loses the tray’s balance and the food comes crashing to the floor.

The noise draws the attention of the customers in the restaurant, and the ire of the patrons who were being served. As the waiter apologizes over and over to the customers, I see that Susie is laughing and glancing his way.

“Oh, my God. What a klutz. His customers look pretty angry.” I say.

Susie continues staring at the poor, berated waiter who looks miserable at having to clean up all of the mess. I take note of the smile that is plastered across her face before seeing her glance in my direction. “That was funny.”

“Not to him, I’m sure.”

Our waiter returns to take the food order, and I prattle off the items on my list. The waiter then looks at Susie, but she is busy watching the spectacle across the room. “For you ma’am?” he offers.

Susie tells him her order without bothering to glance in his direction. After the waiter leaves I say, “Hello. Earth to Susie. Come in.”

She throws me a look of irritation, before masking the expression. “Oh, yeah. What were we talking about?”

“Food,” I reply.

She settles into her seat and says, ‘So, what brings you to Yankton, South Dakota?”

“My mother.” I then explain that my grandmother is ill and living in a nursing home and that my mother moved us from Des Moines, Iowa, to be near her. I also say my mother is divorced and working as a secretary for a private college in order to have money to pay the bills.

To my surprise, Susie says, “I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother. My mother is divorced too and works as a nurse at the hospital here.”

“I’m just trying to make the best of a bad situation. I’m settling in here, trying to make a few friends.”

“Well, now you have one.”

I look at her and say, “Let’s change the subject now, shall we? Talking about my grandmother is a bit depressing.”

Susie complies with my request, and we talk about school until our lunch arrives. Upon finishing eating our burgers a half-hour later, we make plans to meet after school on Friday. “See ya at 4:00 near the main doors.”

“See ya,” I say, before heading home for the evening.

***

Friday afternoon arrives, and I set off in search of Susie. I find her leaning against a railing near the front door of the middle school. “8th grade sucks.” I offer.

‘What happened?”

“Mr. Mueller gave us a paper to write over the weekend. He is such a jerk.”

“Don’t you wish you could kill him?”

I glance at her, because something in the tone of her voice is a little off-putting and killing is not quite what I had in mind. “Strangle, perhaps. Kill? No.”

Susie brushes off my comment before saying, “Let’s head to the skating arena. It’s where all the cute boys hang out.”

I follow her to a local transit stop and hop a bus to the Yankton arena. Ten minutes later, we exit the bus and begin the two-block walk to the skater’s plaza. Halfway there, an ambulance roars past with its lights flashing; followed closely by a police vehicle. The sirens are loud and unrelenting, and they seem to be close by.

“Come on,” Susie says, before running in the direction of the noise.

“Wait up,” I say, as I struggle to run with my backpack.

A block or so later, I catch up to her and see she is standing in a crowd of people that are near an accident scene. The accident looks fairly grisly to me; cars are bent and twisted and firefighters are trying to cut an injured woman out of a car.

“Come on, Susie. This looks pretty bad. Let’s head to the arena.”

She waves me off with a hand and says, “You go ahead. I wanna check this out.”

Not wanting to go to by myself, I wait alongside Susie as the paramedics aid the woman. I find myself grossed out by the whole thing, because there is blood, guts and moaning and the woman is clearly in distress. I glance at Susie, expecting to find her grossed out as well, but she is smiling and oddly fascinated by it all.

“Aren’t paramedics great?” she says.

“Yep. Let’s go now, okay?”

“What’s your problem? Haven’t you seen an accident before?” I admit I haven’t. “It’s no big deal. My mom’s a nurse, you know.”

Feeling as though I’m acting like a baby, I shut my mouth and continue to observe the scene. The paramedics try to stabilize the woman before transporting her to the hospital, but in the end she dies at the scene.

Overcome by the horror of it all I say, “I’m going home.”

Susie looks at me before saying, “Oh, run along little baby. I’ll catch up with you later.”

I shake my head in disbelief, before walking to the bus stop. I look back once more to see if Susie is following me, but I find her smiling and laughing at the scene. So, I board the bus for the ride home; all the while wondering why my friend, Susie, is such a freak.

***

I don’t interact with Susie much over the next few weeks, as I am busy helping Mom settle into the apartment. In addition, Grandma is slowly getting worse in the home, so I have been visiting her more often during the week. Of course, this has all been noted by my good friend, Susie, who stops me after school one day to say, “Where ya been these last few weeks?”

“I’m helping Mom with the apartment, and I’m visiting Grandma during the week.”

She eyes me suspiciously, as if she doesn’t know whether to believe me. “How’s your grandma doing?”

“Okay enough, I guess.” It’s clear Susie wants more information from me, but I am less than forthcoming. The silence stretches into a minute before I say, “Look. I have to get going. I probably won’t see you for a while, so take care of yourself.”

Susie’s eyes narrow at me a bit before she says, “You too, Carrie.”

I note her facial expression, and a chill runs up my spine. But, I dismiss the feeling outright and head to the nursing home to visit Grandma. I arrive there and find her in a good mood. So, I spend the remainder of the evening talking with her about the silly things my mother did as a child.

***

A couple of days later, I am walking home from school when I run into Susie. She is hanging around a group of “delinquents” as my mother would call them, kids who get into trouble at school. They are huddled in a circle around something, which I soon realize is a cat. I walk nearer to the group to see what they are doing, and I see Susie enticing the animal with a piece of beef jerky in her left hand to get it to come to her. The cat, being wary of strangers, does not want to approach Susie, but the meat’s aroma overcomes its resistance. Just as the cat nears her, Susie reveals a small rock she has hidden in her right hand and flings it at the animal. The cat screeches in pain as the rock makes contact with its body, before running away. Susie laughs in delight at its predicament before the rest of the group joins in. Disgusted by this display of animal cruelty, I continue walking towards the apartment. It is clear to me that I should maintain some distance from Susie, as she is nothing but trouble.

***

A week or so later, I spy Susie in the school cafeteria hanging with her group of friends. I am seated a couple of tables away from her eating lunch, but I still have a view of the action. I note that one of her friends has returned to the cafeteria line to purchase a carton of milk and that she has left her purse on the table near Susie. I watch as Susie surreptitiously removes the girl’s cell phone from the purse, looks through a couple of items on it and texts something before replacing it in the purse. The girl returns a few seconds later, totally unaware that Susie has had access to her phone.

A few hours later, I learn what Susie did with the phone. She used it to sext naked pictures of the girl to everyone on her contact list. The photo has been circulating the school the entire day, and the girl is humiliated beyond belief. Not to mention, her parents received the same sext and they are horrified. I spy the girl’s tear-streaked face at day’s end when her parents pick her up in their SUV. From the look on their faces, I would say things at her house will not be pleasant for a while.

***

I heard through the grapevine that Susie is behind another prank at school. One of our classmates used a computer in the library to access her social media account, but she forgot to log out. Susie is rumored to have stumbled upon the account and used it to post an embarrassing message on a male student’s account the girl has a crush on. Since the student is popular at our school and everyone is his social media friend, pretty much everyone saw the post and is making fun of the girl. But, no one witnessed Susie posting the message, so the girl is unable to prove her innocence.

***

Fortunately, I stay away from Susie, so I am not the butt of her jokes. I spend most of my time with Grandma at the nursing home, and she seems to be enjoying the company. However, the next afternoon, Mom receives a telephone call at work from the nursing home. It turns out grandmother spiked a fever during the night, and they sent her to the hospital as a precaution. The nursing home suspects she has pneumonia, and they are cautiously optimistic about her recovery. Mom and I grab a quick bite to eat after she gets off work, before heading to the hospital. But once there, we are greeted by a doctor who explains that Grandma coded only fifteen minutes earlier.

“What do you mean, she coded?” Mom said.

“She had a heart attack, we believe. We were able to resuscitate her after several minutes had passed, but it doesn’t look good. She has been transferred to the ICU.”

Shocked by the sudden turn of events, we head to the Intensive Care Unit. Upon arriving there, I see Susie chatting with a nurse at the front desk. I am somewhat surprised to see her, but then I remember her mother works here. She waves at me and I wave back at her. We ask a nurse which room Grandma is in before being directed to a room near the end of the hall. Mom and I enter the room and are shocked to see Grandma hooked to a ventilator. We both realize then how bad Grandma is, and that the outcome for her is bleak.

The doctor re-enters the room an hour or so later. After explaining the negative results of Grandma’s recent brain scan, he asks Mom about her medical wishes. Mom explains that Grandma does not want to be on prolonged life support or want continued resuscitation. She also explains that she has power of attorney over Grandma’s legal affairs.

I may be young, but I know what it means. I lean down and kiss Grandma on the cheek before saying, “Love you, Grandma.” I then whisper into her ear that it is okay for her to go; that she does not have to stay here for me. Once I am finished, Mom sits next to her on the hospital bed and holds Grandma’s hand. I can see an array of emotions cross her face before tears slide down her cheeks. I sit in a chair that is opposite of Grandma’s bed and wait until she is able to compose herself.

“I need to tell you something,” Mom finally says to me.

I know what she wants to tell me. Grandma’s spirit is gone and it is not coming back. All that remains of her now is the familiar outer shell. I listen as she explains Grandma’s condition and that a decision will have to be made regarding when to “pull the plug.” And, as much as I hate to hear what she has to tell me, I know Grandma would not want to live this way.

Mom tells me she is meeting with the doctor tomorrow to go over the details. She wants me to attend school as usual, because she feels Grandma would not want me to witness her being removed from life support. I hate to admit it, but she is right. To witness someone’s last moment is awful. The image of the lady who died in the street near the skating plaza still haunts me to this day.

I return to Grandma’s bedside and lean in for one last hug. It would be nice if she could hug me back, but I know she is not able. I inhale her familiar scent once more, a mixture of Rose Milk body lotion and whatever talcum powder she was using as of late, in an attempt to imprint her image on my brain. Mom leans in to do the same; one more hug for the road before we return home for the evening.

***

Mom carries out Grandma’s wishes the next day and we end up burying her four days later, after funeral arrangements have been made and family members have been notified. The sky is overcast and drizzling rain as we crowd around her casket at the cemetery. The pastor says some words of comfort to those in attendance before blessing the casket and lowering it into the ground. I glance at the faces in the crowd to help distract me from this moment, and upon doing so I see Susie standing beneath a cottonwood tree, looking in my direction. I know that school is in session right now and that Susie should be in class with the other students. I look again to ensure I am seeing things correctly; only to see Susie smile and wave at me.

The pastor says the final blessing over the casket before informing everyone of the luncheon that will be held after the service. Once he dismisses everyone in attendance, I make my way over to Susie. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you.”

“You shouldn’t have Susie.”

“Look, I know you are sad about your Grandma and all, but I am your friend, and friends comfort each other in times like this.”

I look at her. She seems eager to please me at this moment, and to tell you the truth, she is starting to creep me out. “I appreciate your wanting to express condolences, but I have to get back to the others.”

Susie throws me a look of irritation before saying, “I thought once your grandmother was dead, we would spend more time together.”

“What do you mean? You didn’t do something to her, did you?”

Susie looks at me and says, “I wanted to spend more time with you, but you were always with your grandma. So, I held a pillow over her face until she stopped breathing. Now the problem is solved.”

I am stunned by Susie’s statement. I am rooted to the spot I am standing in for about a minute. Once the shock begins to wear off, I lunge at her and attempt to claw her eyes out. “You bitch!” I scream. “I’ll tell the cops I saw you in the hospital on the day my grandmother died, and about what you did to her.”

Susie deflects my blows before shoving me to the ground. “No one is going to believe you, Carrie. I’m in the hospital all of the time. My mother works there, remember? It’s not unusual for me to be there. As for witnesses? I don’t think so.”

I try to sweep her legs out from under her from my seated position, but my foot misses her by inches. “What you fail to realize, Susie, is there are security cameras all over the hospital that record everything. There is probably a tape of you walking down the hallway near my grandmother’s room shortly before her death. So, I would wipe that smile off my face, if I were you.”

Susie advances upon me, menacing-like, before saying, “You’ll keep your mouth shut if you know what’s good for you and that mom of yours, Carrie.”

I struggle to my feet from the seated position just as Mom arrives and surveys the scene. “Is everything okay?” she asks. I begin to answer her question, but stop short upon seeing Susie make a slicing gesture across her throat with a finger.

Fearing that my mother may become this insane girl’s next target, I say, “No. It’s just a misunderstanding.”

“Well, okay then. Why don’t you dust yourself off, Carrie, and follow me to the luncheon. You can come too, if you like,” she says to Susie.

I glare at Susie; daring her with my eyes to accept my mother’s invitation. But she says, “Thanks, but I really should be going. Class is in session, and I have a test in math later.“

My mother nods accordingly, before guiding me away Susie. I glance over my shoulder and see Susie walking down a pathway leading away from the cemetery, smiling as though she does not have a care in the world.

***

The next morning, after eating a light breakfast and hopping a ride to school with my mother,

I report to third period Math, and settle in for class. Halfway through the session, the PA system comes on and the principal calls everyone to the auditorium for a brief assembly. I follow the rest of the students to the auditorium, and take a seat on the first available bleacher.

Once all of the classes have arrived, the principal says, “I have called you here as I have some sad news. One of our beloved 8th grade students, Susie, has been killed in an accident. She was riding her bike along Route 6 yesterday evening when a car struck and killed her. I realize this is a shock to everyone, so I have asked the school counselors to remain on site for students who wish to use their services. We ask that you pray for Susie’s family in their time of sorrow.”

To say everyone is in shock at the news is an understatement. Students are in tears, and some are crying hysterically. I excuse myself from the cacophony of crying and make my way to the restroom. I go inside and stand in front of the large, oblong mirror that hangs over the sinks.

And, it is then that I laugh. I laugh at the irony of Susie’s death. I laugh because she can no longer hurt anyone. I laugh because justice has been served. Most importantly, I laugh because she did not see me coming.