Surprise!

If most of us old folks answered honestly when asked what retirement was like they would say, “I’m bored out of my mind.” I get up around the same time every day, eat the same foods, rarely meet any new people, and go to bed at the same time every night. Every day is wash-rinse-repeat. Except for the rare occasion when an adult child or some other relative deems it necessary to clear their guilty conscience and call or visit. Nothing changes. At least that’s how it has been.

I woke this morning at the usual time, my old man bladder not allowing me to remain in bed a minute longer, dressed, and was making my way downstairs for my usual breakfast of toast and jam, everything was the same as every other morning, until it wasn’t. Something flashed past the bottom step, causing me to stop in mid-stride. Was that? No, it couldn’t be. How could it have possibly gotten in here? Actually, the how was not as important as where it was going, and what could I use to get rid of it? Moving as stealthily as possible, I finished descending the stairs and retrieved an umbrella from its stand by the door. The hunt was on.

I enjoy a good prank as much as the next guy, but this one was over the top. The first thing I spotted was a banner hanging from the ceiling that read, Surprise! Next, my dining room, kitchen, and deck were overflowing with friends and relatives, all shouting, “Surprise and Fooled You!” Mavis, my secretary for twenty-five years, was standing at the front of the crowd holding her pet rabbit, the same rabbit I saw a few minutes earlier hopping past the staircase. I was speechless. There were people here I hadn’t seen in at least thirty years or more.

“Mavis, this has got to be all your doing, right? And what’s with the rabbit?”

“Why not a rabbit? If the furry little critter could coax Alice down the rabbit hole, I was sure it would bring you to us.”

She then grabbed one of its front legs and waved it at me. A feeling of love and belonging washed over me, and I laughed uncontrollably. This is what I had been missing in my retirement: the camaraderie that is built between co-workers. We may not have always agreed on everything, we may not have liked each other, but we were all part of a community with a single purpose: to run a successful business.

I’m not sure how long everyone stayed. The conversation and drinks flowed in equal abundance. At first, I thought this party might never end, but the longer it went on, the more uneasy I began to feel. The first red flag was when Pete, my old boss, walked up to me, shook my hand, and congratulated me on my retirement. Nothing unusual there except he had died of a heart attack five years ago. Wally, the shipping and receiving foreman, appeared to be having a great time for someone suffering from dementia, and Clare, who had been using a cane for years, was dancing to every fast song that was played. Apparently, reality had taken the day off.

I stood off to one side of the room to appraise the situation when a much too familiar feeling began pulling on my midsection. Yes, it’s that damn old man bladder again, which was equally odd because it only bothers me when I’m asleep. Asleep, that’s it. I’ve been dreaming this whole thing. My eyes popped open, and I immediately scanned the room. I was alone and really had to pee. On my way to the bathroom, I looked out the bedroom window. Sitting on the back lawn looking back at me and appearing to smile was a brown rabbit