"Such A Lovely Place..."

It's 4a.m.

My small family, consisting of my wife, our samoyed, Maximo, and myself, were still on the road. We were headed west towards California. Ah, yes! California Dreaming perhaps, or maybe once we reached our destination, we would find the proverbial Hotel California.

Restless, I swerved towards an exit that wasn't even there. "I'm sure I just saw a sign saying 24/7 Diner this exit," my abbreviated inner monologue stopped reciting every "California" song possible to focus on the highway sign that I distinctly recalled seeing.

Oddly enough, my wife nor did Maximo awake after swerving off to my imaginary exit. Then I saw it. "There's the 24/7 Diner, and a real exit," I murmured with a grimace upon my face.

Upon parking, both my wife and pup have finally awakened. I cracked every window to our white 2016 Volkswagen, after walking a bit and feeding Maximo. My wife, already seated in an old timers booth with her hair up in a curly bun ponytail, as though she's worked around the clock, sweatpants, no make up, brown skin naturally glistening...beautiful still. I walked Maximo back to the car, as he was satisfied and full. I made my way to the booth, the kind where you slid right inside, slick, with only an inch of seat underneath you.

*AHHHHHHHHHHH*

I heard a loud scream from the kitchen. My eyes widened, while my wife only stared at the menu, still deciding on what to eat. A rush of guests rush out of the Diner, as I peek over the grilling station to see what the waitress screamed about from the kitchen. Everything moved in slow motion from then on, yet I moved in regular speed. I stand up tall, only to see Maximo barking wildly from the back door of the kitchen, and a man, standing 5 foot 6 inches tall hovering Maximo with a butcher's knife. My mind was in a state of confusion, not sure of what was unfolding before my eyes.

In an instance, I see my wife...my shy, submissive, introvert, wife stand up tall upon our table, leaping from the table to the kitchen counter, with her hair flowing down to her waist side and blowing back, she then jumps once more to take down the man with the butcher knife; restraining him, shoving him towards the freezer.

"Why...did...you...put...him...in...there...," my words come out in slow motion, though my movements are still at normal speed.

She speaks, "my love we were driving on a dark desert highway, and you saw shimmering lights to this Diner. Though your head was heavy from exhaustion, in that moment you woke up, your sight grew dim, which is why you stopped for the night. At a Diner I'm not sure why."

Her words sounded like a familiar song, yet I couldn't think clearly.

My wife stood in the doorway. Then I heard the kitchen bell.

My wife...she looked at me and said in the most sultry voice that I've ever heard from her "this place could be Heaven or perhaps it's Hell. My darling, tell me which one you want this to be?"

Strangely enough, in the midst of the calamity, I asked the waitress "please bring me my milkshake."

She eagerly responded to me, "we haven't had that milkshake since the early 2000 earthquakes."

I started to head towards the door, signaling both my wife and Maximo. I felt a hand on my shoulder, it was the cook who emerged from the freezer. "Relax, friend. You can pay for your bill, but you can't ever leave."

Hotel California, that’s the song! Wait...I'm stuck here?

I started to remember how I swerved off the highway to what I assumed was an exit. But as luck would have it, there was a near fatal accident that I had caused, from falling asleep at the wheel. I guess I was California Dreaming.

"Sir? Sir are you okay?"

"Where am I?"

"You're in California, sir."

"Such a lovely place..."