Stranded Deep

Day 20

I swear at night sometimes I hear someone calling my name softly in the waves. It is freaking me the hell out, I mean, obviously I am going a bit crazy, it's been 20 days now. The marks in the tree that my shelter is propped up against provide me with the only account of what has passed. Otherwise I would have no clue how long it has been.

I’ve turned in to a bit of a wild man. Stubble and low-growth beard pervade my lower face. My hair, already long from choice, is now a tangled mess of dry strands. My skin carries a faint red glow at all times from a low-level burn I can never seem to get rid of.

I can still see it staring at me, looking deep into my soul. I didn’t want to kill it, honestly, I just, I, well, I mean, I had too. I don’t even know what came over me, I just saw it there, it was so slow, something deep inside me flipped and I went for it. That poor turtle. I know I can’t think like this, I don’t have time to waste on these thoughts. Poor turtle, how about poor fucking me. I’m out of my bloody comfort zone here, I’m the one trapped.

Then it dawns on me, maybe I’m not really that trapped, maybe this isn’t as foreign to me as I thought it was. Maybe this is more home than I give it credit. I mean, I am an animal after all. Maybe this is my true calling.

Some philosophical musings about death and life and the reality of nature help to bring me back. I remember that we are all here for one another, and when my time comes, mother nature and her constituents will use me up the same way I used the turtle's energy to provide for myself.

I recall the experience briefly to ensure I can turn these lessons into wisdom, to ensure the life was not taken for granted.

It all happened so quickly. I held my breath and dived under the water, kicking my legs back and out to push myself down underneath the ocean's buoyancy. I must have got some 15 feet under the water, I popped my ears a couple of times to regulate the pressure and tried my best to maintain my calm. I saw the turtle at once, a few feet from my face, going about its business in a serene manner. I twisted my neck and checked out my underwater surroundings. The saltwater burning my eyes. The coast was clear, with no sharks, and no abundance of poisonous-looking coral.

I kicked my legs back through the water and my body slowly edged forward towards the shelled reptile. I held the speargun at arms length and squinted my eyes to get a better view. The turtle turned to me, and I let go of the elastic. The sharpened stick went soaring through the water and into the neck of the reptile. Blood spurted out into a cloud around its body and just then it attempted to make its escape.

That is what really hit me. If I don’t kill this creature now all I have done is added suffering to its life. I had to get it. I kicked my legs out and back once again and streamlined towards the cloud of blood. I thrust my hands towards it and grabbed a hold of its shell. The creature put up a fair fight but I was able to drag it out of the water and up onto the sandy bank.

I had to finish it off with a rock. It was the worst thing I have seen to date. Blood was everywhere. The sand, the ocean edge, the trees nearby the murder scene. I slumped to my knees. My hands grew weak and I grew tired. I closed my eyes for a moment and said another prayer.

I thanked Gaia for this life. I thanked her for providing me with food and for keeping me alive. I will not let this life go to waste.

I start to skin the animal. It is a horrendously difficult task with the stone tools I created, but it will work. The bones and shell are the most difficult so I have come to smashing them between two rocks to separate them from the animal. That night I roast some of the strips of meat in a conk shell and I have to forgive myself, it was one of the greatest things I have ever eaten.

I drink the blood too. I know a small amount is good for me. I remember this from watching the infamous ConTiki trip. I throw some of it back up. I drink a little more. This time it doesn’t come back up. The rest of the creature I skin and slice into as thin pieces as possible to dry out in the sun. A little turtle jerky will be on the cards for future me.

That was 4 days ago. The jerky works, I have yet to be sick again from eating the turtle, and I haven’t had to go back for more yet either.

I have decided that it is time I travel to the other islands. My resources here are enough to keep me going for a while, but I want to check to see if there is anything of use on the other two pockets of land. I’ll finish up my chores here and see to it that all my things are in order. After this, I will drag the raft back out into the water and attempt to paddle across the small stretch of sea between us. On the way, I will pass the structure in the center of these four islands to figure out if it is the sunken ship I believe it to be.

Tonight, I will do what I always do. I will ponder. I will look up at the infinite stars, I will eat and I will sit by this fire. I will think of my past, my future, and return to the present. Then I shall rest.

Tomorrow, I begin a new adventure.