Steam Engine Steve

There once was a man who used to live in an abandoned derelict warehouse by a lake. He was what many called a mad scientist which is why he lived alone in the middle of nowhere. He had never been a good man but living alone had driven him to become more and more of a monster. He plotted day after day how to punish all the people who had cast him out. He would sit by the lake scowling and muttering to himself. Writing in journal after journal trying to come up with both a weapon and method of transportation to bring pain upon his enemies.

One day he finally arrived at an answer. A train that could go anywhere with no need of track. He could mount weaponry to it, maybe even give it some way to attack enemies up close. Plus he could give it a terrifying whistle so his enemies had one more thing to agonize over before he crushed them. But now came the next problem of how to make it move without tracks. This problem would vex him for a number of weeks. He had finally run out of journals and had taken to scrawling in dirt by the lake during his pondering.

One day as he sat by the lake he had no ideas and so he started to doodle. Soon the lake shore was covered in various scribbles. He finally stopped on one of the first things he had doodled which was just a sun. Circle with wavy little lines coming out from the circle. He stared at it, something ticking in his mind. For three days and nights he looked at it from every angle he could think of.

On the fourth morning as he walked out of his warehouse he almost ran into a spiderweb complete with a large orb weaver in the web. He watched the orb weaver moving for a moment and then it hit him so hard he staggered backwards from the sheer weight of his genius. Spider legs! Give the train spider legs. Outfit the feet of it with the ability to grip to any surface and it would be unstoppable.

He began to build, reaching out to every contact he had left in the world. Every nefarious, sneaky, and underhanded person he knew. Soon he had a beat up old train, steel leg parts that could bend at extreme angles, and weaponry. He worked day and night hammering, welding, and of course taking some time to cackle. He barely slept just the thought of his completed project enough to keep him moving. But almost immediately he ran into a rather large problem. How would he power this infernal device?

So he set back to pondering out by the lake. His heart sunk by this most egregious problem. He sat dejected staring at the lake day after day until summer came when upon another most glorious morning he came out of his warehouse to see steam rising from the lake. He watched it swirling and dancing across the lake top. The heat from the sun and the lake intertwined with one another in a primal meeting that birthed a new idea in the man. Steam! That was how he would power the machine! He could build an engine that worked off steam. It wouldn't be the fastest but when you could go anywhere did that really matter?

So he crafted a steam engine for the device and then set about connecting the legs. Soon they were set to the train and it finally looked proper. A true spider train! Oh how wonderful it would be to finally take his revenge. On all the people who had scorned and shunned him from the world. But he was going to make it all better now! Now that he had a spider train at his disposal. Time for the weaponry to be added.

Unfortunately all he had was two old mini guns and two scoops scrapped from bulldozers. The two mini guns were set along the sides of the train and given the ability to swivel giving decent coverage. With the two scoops he formed a mouth from them and rigged them with the ability to open and close to crush his enemies. Now that he was done he stepped back to admire his work. Before him stood an old train painted a blood red being held up with eight legs the color of darkest night like that of a spider. Mounted with two guns and an insidious mouth that had been set in a toothy grin. The man decided to paint eyes above the mouth to complete the look.

Now it was ready for a test run. The anticipation filled him with a giddiness he had not felt in ages. The rising joy in him threatened to burst out and consume him right then and there like a sun. But he pressed it down into his core letting it be the fuel that would drive him forward. He jumped into the train and started it. He then walked it out of the warehouse towards the lake. All his time at the lake he had always known it to be shallow. No matter how far he had walked out it had only ever come up to his waist. So he walked into the lake with the intent to walk to the other side. As he reached the middle of the lake there was a sudden drop off and he sank forty feet down. As he sank he struggled to get out of the train but he couldn't.

He could feel his life slipping out of him with every second. Rage began to fill him. He had finally been ready! Now was his time to shine! He was going to remove everyone who had ever done him wrong! It couldn't end like this. He refused. As the last of his life ebbed away he gripped the train and in that moment time stopped. Before him stood a small blue winged creature with a sneer, "All those plans gone to waste eh? Bet you would give anything for another chance wouldn't you?"

The man nodded vigorously, finding that in this suspended moment he could talk even though he was underwater, "Yes! A million times yes! Whatever you demand of me I'll pay the price. I'll pay it again and again till the end of time if I have to!"

The blue creatures sneer slowly turned to a grin, "Now that's what I like to hear! Take that hatred and run free with it! Crush as many insects as you want! All I want is your soul and your promise that you'll never stop killing."

The man grins back letting that sun in him unfurl and consume him, "My soul is yours beast! And I'll never stop! That's not just a promise, that's my duty!" With that time resumed again but the man watched as his body died and he spread like a virus through the train.

When he next opened his eyes he realized they seemed a little off center. His body felt different, it was too bulky and had far too many limbs. Then he remembered the deal that had been struck and he laughed. From the front mouth of the train came a mechanical grinding sound through the water. He reached his legs up clamping them to any surface he could find and he crawled his way out of the hole. Soon he broke the surface of the water standing in the lake again staring up at the moon. He silently thanked the lake for all the inspiration it had given him and even for killing him. For it now meant he could punish the ignorant masses forever. With a shrill maddening whistle he scuttled off into the darkness.

As he went into the woods he realized he had never picked a name. For some reason only one name came to him. Steam Engine Steve.

A group of children sit around a campfire listening to this tall tale when suddenly another child jumps from the bushes whistling. All the children around the campfire were screaming and then laughing. The adult who had been telling the story laughs as well, "And they say that he roams near this lake we're at even today. Hunting for more people to slaughter."

After that a long shrill whistle pierces the night and a mechanical cackling can be heard, "Hello cretins who banished me to live my life in solitude. Steam Engine Steve is here!"

I hope you enjoyed this tale. If you did please subscribe, leave a like, and feel free to leave a tip. Till next time.