Introduction
Hello, my name is Amber and welcome to my Halloween Squealers piece. Perhaps you want something different to do for Halloween or maybe you are just itching to find some quirky Halloween jokes. Well, I’ve got just the thing for you! These jokes are totally homemade and unique. Hopefully you have never heard any jokes like these before!
Whether you are into pumpkins, bats, creepy crawlies, ghosts, witches, zombies, vampires, mummies, skeletons, goblins, graveyards or any other supernatural/spooky being then I hope there is something for everyone here. You may be wondering, why would someone want to sit down and write Halloween jokes? Well, I am encouraged, rightly or wrongly, by some people to make up more jokes and plus it is just what I do anyway. Sometimes I don’t even care if they are corny as they then have the merit of being so bad they ‘crack’ you up anyway and then ‘egg’ me on to write some more. Get it? Haha! That was just me warming up, the real stuff is going to come shortly. Creative stories and jokes are often whirring round in my head which means I have no choice but to get them down on paper! There is a great satisfaction when these are in print. Well, on the screen of course! If these inspire you to write your own jokes, then great! Don’t be discouraged by any negative feedback, as long as your jokes are not offensive, then it’s a harmless hobby. Ask yourself as well, is the person criticising your joke telling able to come up with any material of their own?
When you have read this piece and if you have enjoyed it then please feel free to share the link to this and let everyone know which jokes are your favourite!
1. How can you tell when Halloween is coming?
People go batty!
2. Where are you most likely to see a pumpkin on Halloween?
At a carvery
3. Which creature is the mouthiest?
The Goblin
4. What does the devil need to make his speech?
His PITCH fork
5. Why do ghosts have tummy trouble?
Anything they eat goes straight through them!
6. Why does Halloween seem cynical?
People keep getting booed
7. What do people say when a devil is crossed with a witch?
Brooming hell!
8. What do witches say when they are going for a stroll?
I'm just going for a wanda
9. What type of music is played at Halloween?
Soul music
10. What are werewolves always getting arrested for?
Full mooning
11. Why should you never date someone near Halloween?
You will get ghosted
12. How does the devil seduce you?
He will burn you with flames of desire
13. Which skeletons have a temper?
The ones with crossbones
14. What is a baby skeleton's favourite noise?
A rattle
15. Which creature tends to wrap their children up in cotton wool?
The Mummy
16. Why do witch's expressions always seem so pointed?
Because of their hats
17. Which creatures are always watching you?
Spiders
18. What do you call a boy who is born in October?
Toby
19. What do you call a girl who is born in October?
Octavia
20. What is a vampire's favourite cocktail?
Bloody Mary
21. What fruit is eaten at Halloween?
Blood oranges
22. Why is it hard to catch a snake?
They are a bit ‘hiss and miss’
23. How can you tell when witches are having a domestic?
They get their broomsticks out!
24. Which vegetable has the most inflated ego?
The PUMPkin
25. Why must you never visit the tombstones on Halloween?
Because you will be in GRAVE danger
26. Why are skeletons mistaken as heavy?
Because they have the word TON in them
27. Which bee has the deadliest sting?
The Zombie
28. Why did the skeleton go to the butchers?
It needed some spare ribs
29. Why could the dead never rest in peace?
There were too many coffin noises
30. What is a ghost’s favourite game?
Peek a boo!
31. What is the forecast for Halloween?
Gloomy skies
32. What are a witch’s favourite chocolates?
Black Magic
33. What does a vampire say when they reject another vampire?
That’s not my kinda fang
34. Why should you never cross the devil?
He will give you hell
About the Creator
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