Spooky Sunday with Crystal Fortune

Hey guys, it’s your favourite neighbourhood spook detective here, Crystal Fortune! I know I don’t normally put out a blog post on a Sunday as it’s my slot on the radio but I am feeling a bit freaked out which is unusual and I thought you guys could help ground me a bit before I head out to the radio station.

I’m sure you guys remember last week’s ‘Spooky Sunday’ radio show because we had one hell of a phone-in! If you don’t remember I’m going to transcribe the recording here in a minute but, and I am a little ashamed to say this, the call has really got under my skin. As you know, I’m always on the hunt for genuine examples of the paranormal but I’m still a huge sceptic so I can find the flaw in almost any case. Maybe it’s because this one involves me, but I can’t seem to shake it. Anyway, I’ll transcribe the recording here and fill you in on a couple of other facts at the end so you have the whole story.

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CRYSTAL FORTUNE: “You’re live on the air with your favourite neighbourhood spook detective Crystal Fortune! What Spooky Sunday paranormal case do you have for me to investigate?”

HANNAH: “Well, I, um, it’s a new skill that uh-.”

C: “You’re going to have to speak up a lot, spooky whispering doesn’t add credence to your story you know! Why don’t we start with your name?”

H: “My name is Hannah.”

C: “OK Hannah, what’s lead you to make this call today?”

H: “I’ve listened to your show for a while but I’d never had any experiences until three months ago and, and, if I didn’t ring in and warn you then I couldn’t live with myself!”

C: “Ha, warn me? If you’re just here to try and scare me, you’re not the first, it won’t work, and I don’t appreciate it when I might have genuine callers trying to get through. Why don’t you call back when you’re-.”

H: “No wait, please, please don’t hang up! I’ll start from the beginning, please.”

C: “Alright I’ll bite, but you’re out of chances now. Tell me what happened three months ago.”

H: “Thank you, thank you! So, three months ago I was driving home from work and hit a patch of ice at quite high speed and spun out of control. It was really bad, I remember pulling at the wheel with all my strength to try to get back control, heading towards a tree, and then I woke up three days later. I found out afterwards that my heart stopped twice in the ambulance. I’m honestly so lucky to still be here, but I think there’s a reason I am.”

C: “Alright I’ll admit I’m a little intrigued. However, if you’re now going to say you can see the dead and you’re here to help them cross over I’d like to refer you to several movies with that exact plot and a long list of so-called psychics I’ve exposed as frauds on this very show.”

H: “No, I can’t see or communicate with the dead and I didn’t see an afterlife. I did gain a skill though and that’s what I’m calling about.”

C: “Alright, carry on then.”

H: “I know it sounds mad, but I can see the future, or more specifically accidents that are about to happen. It started out really small but it’s getting worse.”

C: “So I assume you’re ringing me to warn me of an impending accident because you’ve had a vague dream. I’ll let you finish but yawn this has been done before.”

H: “It’s not vague and it happens while I’m awake. I get a headache so fierce it feels like my skull is being pulled open from the inside then I can see something playing out in front of my eyes, perfectly clear. Then I get a nosebleed. I know you look for vague details and inconsistencies to debunk a case so I think you should know I can hear noises in the vision but not people talking even if I can see their lips moving. Also, I got my girlfriend to time it after the first few visions and it always lasts exactly forty-five seconds from headache to nosebleed. She would be happy to confirm that to you.”

C: “Well you’ve done your research which always impresses me. I’m not saying I believe you because I don’t, but I’m intrigued to see where this goes. What was the first vision you had?”

H: “I really need you to believe me, so I’ll carry on. The first one was so minor I would have ignored it completely if it hadn’t been for the headache and nosebleed. I smelt Chinese food and saw Erica, my girlfriend, with blood on her finger. She wasn’t there at the time and I scribbled it in a notebook to speak to the doctor about and put it out of my mind. That should have been the end of it but when she got in from work, she’d picked up a Chinese takeaway for a surprise dinner. That obviously brought my vision back to me and as I got up to tell her she yelled and came in with her left index finger in her mouth; she had grabbed the post on the way in and got a paper cut on the damn energy bill!”

C: “I admit to enjoying the way you weave a tale but I’m not sold on the idea of you being brought back from the dead to predict minor inconveniences, it’s not the most useful of super powers you must admit. Did Erica believe you?”

H: “I didn’t really believe it myself! I knew I’d seen it because it had been so clear but I just decided it was a coincidence and some strange side effect from the accident. The second vision was my mother burning herself taking cakes out of the oven but she’s clumsy so it’s not a strange event and again I chalked it up to coincidence. The third one was much harder to shake off, I saw my uncle fall down stairs but he’s not elderly and he’d never done it before. So I knew what she was going to say when I got a call from my aunt the next morning and I was just relieved that he was alright apart from a sprained wrist. I had the first three visions within four days so I contacted my doctor before my next scheduled check-up as it wasn’t a one-off like I’d hoped, but I downplayed the actual visions so as not to sound unhinged. He sent me for an urgent barrage of tests but they couldn’t find anything that could be causing the headaches and nosebleeds, so he put it down to the stress of processing the accident. He gave me a course of sleeping tablets and encouraged rest. So that’s when I asked Erica to time the episodes and I wrote a lot more detail about each vision just in case.”

C: “And they are always about people you know? I’ll admit to having a healthy curiosity about this now, but you can’t have had a vision about me because I don’t know you.”

H: “They were at first, the last one I had about someone I know was three weeks ago. Our friend Adam has always got some kind of insane garden project going on, and I had a vision that a large metal arch he had made collapsed and crushed his leg under it. We went straight round there and I saw the arch and the song I’d heard in my vision was blaring out, I ran out the car and started yelling hysterically and trying to pull him back from the arch. I managed to move him back enough so that when the arch came down it just scraped down his leg, he was hurt but not too badly and I realised I could change the outcome of my visions.”

C: “Do you think Adam would be willing to talk to me as part of my investigations?”

H: “Yes I’m sure he would, I’m sure everyone I’ve mentioned would.”

C: “You can leave contact details with my team, but I think I have more than enough details now so just get to the punchline as it were & tell me what you’re warning me about.”

H: “I had a vision last night about a bus crash. I could hear drilling, I could smell burning, and I’m really sorry to say that I saw an entry pass for a building with your face on it among the wreckage. The visions seem to be giving me more time before the accident happens so you’ve probably got a couple of days but I just needed to tell you so-.”

C: “Alright we’re done now; I’ve indulged this long enough. Up until now you’d obviously done your research but I don’t take the bus so you’ve slipped up there. I’ll do the decent thing and look into the case but you’ve had enough air time.”

***

That is where it should have ended, I fully expected to contact the people involved and be told she was making it up. Thing is, every single one backed up her story so I’ve really struggled to put this one to the back of my mind.

Here’s where I’m probably about to sound irrational & I need you faithful listeners to calm me down. On my way home yesterday, I had the most awful smell come from under the bonnet of my car so it’s gone into the garage.

That means I’ll have to get the bus to the station today. I know it will take me past the roadworks a few streets away from the station, so I’ll hear drilling, and I burnt my toast this morning.