Speak to Me

The sirens roared past Sam, piercing through the wind in the cold New York City evening air. Nothing had ever felt as real as this moment in time, right this very second. Hiding in the alley within the shadows between the old red brick building and the inconspicuous dumpster, he began to second guess himself, feeling frozen, knowing he must move, but cannot do so as the footsteps are not yet faint enough to feel confident this is it. Not yet. The moment must be just right. As he stared up at the sunless winter grey clouds, for just a second, Sam saw the future blue skies in his mind that could be a reality, if he could just get out of one more crummy situation, life would be okay. He could do it on his own terms, peacefully, somehow undo all the bad or at least even the score. For just one second, in a flash, as he thought about the bright blue skies he so longed for, he was able to block the awful tragedy that had just ended a life moments earlier at his hands. But the more he tried to focus on something else, the more it crept back into his mind.

Sam thought about how he fumbled and dropped the gun when it discharged. He thought about the sound of the thud of her body that he will hear ringing in his ears forever. He thought about the pure fear in the young teller’s angelic-like face and then the haunting lifeless pale blue eyes against her jet-black hair and porcelain skin just a flash later. Was she a mother? Will her child be waiting at shift end for her dear sweet mummy to pick her up from daycare? How many lives have been forever crushed by this one senseless tragedy? Sam could not shake the image of a small child waiting, hoping that mummy would arrive soon. But she would never arrive again, fate was a cruel beast. Deep breathe. He quickly wipes away one single tear from his blood splattered face and shakes away the thoughts that consume him. More sirens. The cold air forces him to shudder silently. The bag of money felt heavy on his chest suddenly; it is everything good and bad all at the same time. It represents a new beginning, far away from this dirty scary place. It represents loss that cannot be replaced. He wanted that new beginning so bad he could taste it. The bitter cold made it difficult to resist the urge to sniffle, but he did not dare. Any sound very well could mean this is the end of the road. Sam was not ready to give up.

Sam hesitated slightly and then took a cautious peek down the eerily quiet street. He noticed two blocks down there was a dark alley where a large produce truck was parked at the very end. Just slightly, the rolling door of the vehicle appeared open from his vantage point, indicating it was not locked. The back of the truck read, “Randall’s Farm to Table Treats”. That gave Sam an idea. If he could just make it to the truck and slip inside the cargo trailer before being spotted, he was home free. One moment of silence more just to make sure the sirens were gone, and it was time to go. He bolted from his hiding spot, running as fast as his pained lungs allowed, faster than he had in his entire life. It was now or never. A large dog barks loudly nearby. Was it a police dog? Were the police lying in wait? How could he be so stupid, he thought, believing at any moment a police dog’s vicious bite would pounce upon him, knowing him to the ground. No time to think, just run. But no dog bit him, it was uncharacteristically silent once more, the sound of Sam’s feet being the only sound heard.

As soon as Sam reached the alley, he slammed his body against the dirty brick building wall in an attempt to melt with the shadows. Catching his breath, he tried to quiet his own wheezing. His chest rose and caved softer and softer until the odd silence of a normally busy street took over again. It was too quiet. He must move now. He quickly darted through the alley shadows to the back of the truck cargo trailer and with one loud “umph” he used all his might to heave open the rolling trailer door enough to slide into the trailer.

No sooner than shutting the rolling door as quietly as possible, he heard a side door of the building swing open into the alley with a tired creak. Sam now sat hovering in between the produce boxes in near total darkness realizing he has not fully shut the rolling door as it had been, wondering if this is the moment that will lead to his demise. Footsteps approaches. “I thought you said you shut it? There’s a bank robber on the loose, can’t be too careful now” said an older man in a chastised manner to a younger man right outside the truck. “I always double check it Lenny, relax” said the younger man with arrogance. “Yea, yea, I’m not paying overtime, get moving” Lenny said. Sam breathed a sigh of deep relief as he heard the trailer door slam shut roughly, the sound of footsteps grew faint, the truck door opened and the start of a loud diesel engine roared alive.

As soon as the long beep sound of the truck reversing out of the alley stopped, before Sam could feel a sense of relief, sirens began to scream again, this time alarmingly close. Someone must have spotted him, Sam thought as his heart began to race. He knew he was trapped as he recalled the truck door was shut tightly by the driver. Sam drilled himself as far back as possible into the back of the truck cargo cabin, blindly touching boxes in the total darkness as he carefully attempted to move the produce as little as possible while creating a suitable hiding spot. He crouched down, wishing he was a smaller sized man. But as the truck chugged along, the sirens grew faint.

For the first time since he walked into that bank earlier today, Sam breathed a deep sigh of relief. His shoulders slumped in the cold darkness as he gulped down hard, afraid to let down his guard as the sense of freedom was always fleeting. He could smell the sweet smell of strawberries near his nose. The smell ignited a long-lost memory of when Sam was just a wee child and picked strawberries with his grandpa, while they basked in warmth of the sunlight together. A simpler time, a time of beauty of innocence Sam thought longingly. The smell gave Sam hope as he clutched the bag of money with his freezing hands. Maybe the cold ugliness of the city really was just a memory now as another image of blue skies and bright white fluffy clouds filled his head. He hoped. Sam suddenly realized how exhausted he was, as the humming of the diesel engine chugged along in the darkness, Sam drifted off to sleep.

A jarring noise of the truck door rolling upward shocked Sam’s senses back awake. Unsure of how long he had slept, Sam cursed himself for sleeping at all, as he should have been thinking of his next move while he had the chance. There was no time for sleep, he should have known better. As Sam winced in the darkness to quickly take in his surroundings, he noticed it was still very dark outside, but the air smelled quite different than the recycled smog filled city air he had grown accustomed to for so long. “Oh Theo, stop” said a woman’s voice with a thick Southern accent, “You know Lenny is going to pay you for the time, stop fussing and just come inside and have some of this fresh baked apple pie. I saved a piece just for you. You won’t be disappointed.” “Oh ma’am, you know I really shouldn’t, but I can’t say no to a lady as pretty as you” said the man with a smile in his voice. Sam recognized the voice as the younger man who drove the truck. While laughing, both sets of footprints walked away.

Sam knew this was his time to bolt. He felt around in the darkness for the bag of money, grabbed the bag and inched slowly towards the front of the truck, which thankfully Theo had left wide open. Sam jumped out of the truck and felt a crunch below his feet. Hay? That is a strange sight to see when accustomed to the city Sam thought. He looked around frantically, taking in his new surroundings in the darkness of the night and realized he was inside an enormous old barn. There were boxes of produce stacked as far as he could see directly behind where the truck had pulled in. There was no light except for the moonlight that shone brightly through the wooden rafters. It was surprisingly bright, and Sam slightly smiled as he looked up to take in the moonlight, realizing he had made it, for now anyway.

Sam heard the creak of what sounded like a door in the distance and he snapped back to reality, realizing he has no idea where he is or how far he had traveled due to his untimely sleep. He cursed himself again, realizing again how dumb it was for him to fall sleep in a situation like this, as he had not thought about what he would do in the slightest. Sam had to quickly hide, as the door in the distance snapped shut again. In the corner of the barn past all the produce, Sam saw a ladder inside the barn nearby that lead to an upper level that was stacked to the brim with hay. It was missing a few planks of wood, but Sam quickly climbed the ladder, climbed over the bales of hay and burrowed himself within two bales at the very back of the rafters near the wall. Sam thought to himself, is there a road nearby? Should I hitchhike? How far am I from the city? Will they be looking for me here? How do I clean the blood off my face in this cold? Sam decided since he had no idea where he was, even though it was very cold outside, he would be better off waiting until morning when he can assess his surroundings properly.

Too cold to sleep, Sam looked around finally feeling a sense of safeness among the bales of hay as he was sure his hiding spot was safe for now in the darkness. This spot was so well hidden that he was somewhat certain it would also hold up during the day. Sam then looked at the bag of money, deciding to count it since he had time to spare. His hand started to shake as he just realized that the bag was blood splattered. At least no one can judge me here Sam thought in shame, as the young teller’s pale face suddenly consumed him once again. Sam started to count the money in stacks of $100’s, starting a new stack each time he reached $1000. The money was clean, even if the bag was not, Sam thought happily. After laying down all the stacks, gleaming in the moonlight, Sam counted a total of over $100,000. It was quite the sight to see from the crumpled up $5 bill that Sam started with this morning, which was still in his pocket. Sam’s eyes sparkled as he took in the sheer amount of money, he was looking at in front of him.

Sam suddenly snapped back and jumped as he heard a peculiar noise. Curious, Sam bent down and peeked around a bale of hay. It was the hoot of a barn owl. The owl was completely still, yet intently stared at Sam. “Hoo, hoo” said the owl loudly, as to alert others of his hiding spot. “Don’t judge me” Sam whispered and then turned his back to the owl as he laid down. He quickly gathered up all the cash and threw it back into the bag. Sam then threw the bag of money next to his feet, rubbed his hands together to try and keep warm and slumped down. Sam would not turn back around to look at the owl, struck by its haunting eyes. It was if the owl said that now was not the time to celebrate and rejoice. I’m losing my mind thought Sam, I’m having conversations with a barn owl. Although when morning came, Sam would realize he’s not crazy after all.