Shattered

The mirror showed a reflection that wasn't my own. My face appeared distorted by both pain and something unexplained. Something horrific.

I leaned over the porcelain bowl in the washroom, panting as another tremor wracked my body. It was as if I was on fire. My bones felt like they were breaking. Rearranging. A terrible sound worked its way out of my mouth, sounding more like a howl than a scream.

I glanced back up at the mirror. My deep brown eyes glowed topaz. My nose and jaw pushed forward into a wolfish snout. Sharp teeth glistened as I grimaced in pain. The full moon reflected over my shoulder, shining brighter than the candle on the edge of the table.

I howled again, drowning out the sharp crack as the basin broke in two in my hands. Except they were no longer hands. They were paws covered in dark fur with long, gnarled fingers. Razor-sharp claws scraped across the porcelain pieces I was still holding.

I stood slightly hunched yet towered over the remains of the bowl. Broadly muscled shoulders replaced what had once been delicately feminine. Awkwardly distended hips and oddly bent legs ended in large, powerful paws. The claws left gouges in the floorboards as I scrambled backward. Shaggy brown, nearly black fur covered my entire body. Scraps of my nightgown still clung to it. A glance behind me confirmed a tail had sprouted from my tailbone.

I was grotesque. A werewolf. I was a werewolf? How? What had I done to deserve this? I did everything my parents asked. I was demure and graceful. I was the perfect daughter. My only transgression was when I would sneak out to see Conri. Even then, we never did anything more than share a kiss.

My parents would never understand this. Papá would shoot me on sight. He’d never give me a chance to explain. And Conri. I loved him even if my parents disapproved. He was an Irish sailor who had chosen to remain in Mexico. He wasn’t the Spanish nobleman’s son they were grooming me to wed. Well, Reynoldo would never marry me now. Not that I ever desired him. But Conri. My sweet Conri would detest me for the monster I had become.

The moon caught my attention again, eliciting another howl. Anger surged through me. A white-hot rage from losing everything. I struck out at the creature grinning at me in the mirror, shattering the glass. I tried to open the washroom door, ripping it off its hinges in the process.

The house was quiet as I stepped into the main room, too quiet, short of my panting snarls. The front door stood open. Our servants must have run away when they heard me howling.

My younger sisters were huddled behind the sofa, trembling in terror. Mamá fell to the floor in a dead faint. Movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. Javier, my older brother, was holding Papá’s rifle on me. He was shaking so badly he couldn't aim properly. The gardener stood behind him, wielding a hoe. Papá was brandishing his sword, edging around the other side of me.

As I faced them down, I realized I smelled smoke. Flames caressed the washroom doorframe. I must have knocked the candle over.

The men moved forward to put the fire out, momentarily forgetting about me. At the same time, the servants returned, bringing some of the villagers with them. Someone stupidly threw a torch at me, igniting the carpet. All I could think about was trying to save my family.

I leaped over the sofa to help my sisters. Marcella went limp in my paws. Sofia fought back more than I expected. Without thinking, I grabbed at her nightclothes with my teeth. I raced out the door to be assaulted by rocks and other items the villagers hurled at me. Bullets whizzed past me as I ran toward the forest. Any thought of rescuing anyone else fell from my mind.

Eventually, I left my pursuers behind. When I felt safe enough to take some rest, I sank to the ground. Neither of my sisters had made a sound during our journey. This worried me. I released them and then moaned in despair. Blood soaked through their nightgowns.

I didn't know how to use this body. I didn't know my own strength. My claws had sunk deep into Marcella’s soft belly. Sticky blood ran from her mouth and nose. A gurgling sound came from her lungs. And Sofia was no better. My teeth had ripped into her side. She breathed shallowly.

I nosed at them mournfully before licking the blood from their injuries. “I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” The words came out in a gravelly voice that wasn't quite my own. A heart-wrenching howl followed it.

I brushed my clawed fingers over my abdomen, feeling for the scars hidden beneath dense fur. Scars so similar to Sofia’s wounds. It was beginning to make sense.

Last month, I snuck out to meet Conri. He had told me not to come that night, but the moon had been so beautiful. It had been full that night too. I remember hearing movement in the forest. I smiled as I pushed through the brush to surprise him. Only it wasn’t Conri. What stood there was something from my nightmares - something I had blocked out entirely.

I had woken up in my bed with bandages wrapped around my waist. I was feverish for days. Mamá sat by my side the entire time, not knowing if I would survive. All they would tell me was that a stranger had brought me home, saying a coyote had attacked me.

That was no coyote. It was much larger. A red-furred wolf that stood on two legs. It was a werewolf that bit me. As a result, I was also one and now responsible for my sisters’ deaths.

I looked at Sofia’s wounds again. They came from my bite. Did that mean she would become a werewolf too? But poor Marcella. Her wounds were from my claws. Could I save her life if I bit her too? Was becoming a monster better than death? It didn't matter. I had to try. She didn't even react as I sank my teeth into her.

I wrapped myself around them and sobbed miserably until I succumbed to exhaustion. I awoke naked and shivering in my human form as sunlight filtered through the trees. The girls hadn't moved, but they weren’t cold and stiff like my grandmother was when she died.

That had been six years ago when I was only ten. The same age Marcella was now. I had been uncomfortable seeing her in death. A rustling sound distracted me from the memory of her laid out on the dining room table.

At that point, I didn’t care what happened to me. If my sisters didn’t survive this, I didn’t deserve to live. I was surprised to see Conri emerge from the trees.

“Elina, here, you can cover yourself with this,” he said, handing me his serape while turning politely away.

I took it from him, holding it to my chest while imploring, “Conri, please. You must leave me. It isn't safe to be near me.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Conri insisted.

“But, I am a monster. Look what I’ve done to my sisters.” I wailed.

He stooped to examine the girls. “You bit them?”

“You know?” It came out in a gasp. He didn't answer. “I didn't mean to bite Sofia. The house was on fire. I was trying to save them. I only bit Marcella because she was already dying.”

“Why do you think I told you not to come to me that night?”

My mouth moved, but no word came out. I watched Conri run his hands through hair as red as that werewolf’s pelt. No. He wouldn't. “It was you,” I said when I finally found my voice. “You tried to kill me.”

Conri turned to me with a hurt expression. “No. I wouldn’t do that. I never wanted this for you. But it can be difficult to control oneself, especially when your blood smells so sweet. And then I began to think about it. Your father would never let me marry you. He wants so much more for you than I can provide - at least in his eyes.”

“You bit me!” The rage was returning. “You turned me into a werewolf!”

“I love you, Elina. I wouldn't have done it if I didn't think you were strong enough to survive it.” Conri pleaded.

“You didn't think to ask me? To explain what you were and ask me if I was willing to choose this life for myself?” I snapped.

“You were willing to sneak out to meet up with me, but would you have defied your father when he ordered you to marry Reynoldo?” he countered. “Do you love me, Elina?”

“Of course I love you,” I exclaimed, throwing up my arms. The serape fell to the ground. I ignored Conri’s appreciative glance. As I stooped to pick the garment up, I realized my body was smooth and taut. The hideous scars from where Conri had bitten me were gone. Even the faint jagged mark from where I had cut open my knee on a rock after Javier had tripped me when we were children was gone. Muscles I had never had before rippled under my skin.

Conri watched me, examining myself before gently wrapping the cloth around me. “Transforming into the wolf heals your injuries and removes any blemishes.” He paused before continuing. “Would you have chosen me, knowing what I was? Would you have chosen to become like me?”

Tears ran down my face. “I don't know,” I whispered.

“I’m sorry. I should have asked you first.”

I nodded and then looked at my sisters. “Will they be alright?”

“I don't know. There’s always a chance that the victim of a werewolf’s bite won't survive.” He lifted Marcella into his arms. “Come. We must leave. Men are much braver in the daylight hours. They will be searching for you.”

I was surprised by how easy it was to pick Sofia up. Yes, I had carried both of them this far, but I had been twice my size at the time. “What about my family? I should see if they made it out of the fire.”

“If you walk back into your village, they will kill as soon as they see you. It will be much easier to do so in your human form.” Conri replied. He took in my devastated expression. “When we arrive at my encampment, I will send one of my men to ascertain if your family survived.”

“Your men? There are more werewolves here?” I asked in surprise.

He avoided my eyes. “A few others have survived their encounters with me over the years.”

“Years? You told me you were twenty-five. How long have you been here?” I asked.

“Werewolves age differently. I will explain everything once we are home,” Conri replied.

We hiked through the forest for at least an hour. I lost track of time as I fretted about my family. Finally, we emerged into a clearing where a few roughly constructed huts stood. Several people looked up from where they were performing various tasks. A few children ran around kicking a round sack. They all nodded in reverence to Conri.

“Sergio, find Bea and have her come help with these girls. We need blankets, water, and some broth to get them through the wolf fever,” he said to a man who appeared to be in his forties. “And send Tomas back to Elina’s village. Her house caught fire during her transformation, and she wishes to know if the rest of her family made it out safely.”

The man barked out an order to yet another person. “They are so young,” Sergio commented as he took Sofia from my arms.

“It was an accident,” I whispered.

A plump woman who looked more indigenous than Spanish scurried up to them and then followed Sergio into the largest hut.

“They all defer to you. Even the elders.” I said.

Conri smiled. “Well, technically, I am the eldest, but more importantly, I am the Alpha. I am in charge. If another is born or made who has alpha tendencies, he is more than welcome to challenge me. If we have a son, he may take over from me someday.”

He took me by the arm and led me into the hut. Bea excused herself to prepare the broth. I knelt next to my sisters, watching over them with dread.

“Elina, this is not your fault. It is mine. I knew you would likely kill your entire household if you were allowed to transform there.” Conri said quietly. “I tried to take you from there before the full moon. I came several times, but your father turned me away at the business end of his gun. I should have fought him on it.”

He reached out for me and then sighed when I shrugged his hand off. “I should have brought you back here instead of sending you home. I couldn't bear to watch you die if you didn't survive my bite.”

I shook my head. I hadn't yet forgiven him for his actions, but it did no good to dwell on it. All I cared about at that moment was that my family was safe. When Bea returned, I took the bowl of broth from her and dribbled small spoonfuls into Sofia’s mouth. The woman did the same for Marcella.

“If they survive this, will they transform on the next full moon?” I asked.

Conri shrugged. “I don't know. The children here were born to our pack. None of them have changed yet. We don't know if they ever will. But your sisters sustained bites from a werewolf’s teeth. Chances are they will transform.”

I watched him for a moment. “What about you? When were you bitten?”

He looked down sheepishly. “I wasn't. I was young and stupid. I broke the heart of a young woman back in Ireland. I turned my attentions to another after she had given herself to me. I didn't realize she was a witch until it was too late. She cursed me to this fate.”

I couldn't believe what he had told me. Conri had never been anything but proper with me.

“It was a very long time ago. I have learned my lesson.” he insisted.

A few hours later, Sergio walked in and whispered something in Conri’s ear. My wolfman closed his eyes, and I feared the worst. He moved over to me and touched my shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Elina. The fire took your parents. Your brother lives but suffered severe burns. He may not survive his injuries.”

My howl was gut-wrenching but sounded far more human than the night before. After I had cried myself dry, I turned my attention back to Marcella and Sofia.

Like me, the girls’ bodies burned with fever for several days. They came in and out of consciousness while Bea and I mopped their faces with rags dipped in cool water. Sofia was the first to notice her surroundings and recognize that I was there. She clung to my hand whenever she was awake. A weight lifted when Marcella reached out for me, her eyes no longer confused and feverish.

I couldn't bring myself to speak to Conri again until after I was sure the girls would survive. He gave me space, remaining outside to conduct pack business during the day. The only time he spent near me was to sleep. I wasn't sure who to blame for my family’s fate. Was it Conri’s fault for setting the tragic events in motion? Or was it my fault for loving him enough to defy my father? For loving him still despite what happened.

My sisters accepted their fate far better than I expected. Of course, they were devastated by the loss of our family. But now that they had gotten past the fear of that night, they seemed to feel this was all a great adventure.

Marcella thought Conri biting me out of love was the most romantic thing ever. She was nearly giddy when I finally accepted his proposal. Sofia was only eight. As soon as she had healed enough, she was running with the other children and playing at being a wolf. They were both looking forward to their first full moon.

The following month was a little easier on me. Well, there was nothing easy about my body rearranging itself, but at least I knew what to expect. It went faster this time. Conri and I were there to guide Marcella and Sofia through their first transformation.

By the time my wedding day arrived, we were used to the shifts. As rustic as the encampment was, it looked very festive that day. Garlands of flowers hung from every building. A canopy stood in the center of the clearing. People chatted happily as they prepared the wedding feast.

The ceremony was held in the afternoon while there was still plenty of daylight. I looked into Conri’s blue eyes as I repeated the words that bound us. A cacophony of human howls cheered on our marriage kiss. After much food, music, and dancing, the skies began to darken. We removed our clothing. This was something that had made me very uncomfortable at first, but it made sense. If we were to shift clothed, we would always need to replace them.

As one, we lifted our faces to the moon and howled. Our cries grew deeper and more animalistic as we transformed. The party continued late into the night, but now we ran through the woods to hunt. We avoided the closest towns to avoid unnecessary attention. Not that there were any human settlements nearby, by choice. However, the natural denizens of the forest were fair game.

******

I gazed at the beautiful white orb in the sky as I paced the center of our encampment. It would still be a couple of days before it was at its maximum exposure. I had grown to love the moon at all its stages. But the full moon was still my favorite.

A soft grunt reminded me that I had stopped walking. I shifted Adolfo to kiss his tiny face before continuing my stroll. This was often the only way to get my son to sleep. He had Conri’s nose and chin but otherwise looked like me with his dark hair and caramel complexion.

It had been nearly two years since I had become a werewolf. At that point, I couldn't consider any other life. The oldest children born to our pack experienced their first shift when they were in their sixteenth year. Only one child hadn't transformed at that time. Conri was happy. It gave him hope that not only could we expand the pack by natural means but also that there was a good chance our son would be a wolf. That didn't matter to me. I would love Adolfo no matter what.

I felt the baby sigh as he relaxed against my shoulder. I gave it a few more minutes, then slipped inside the hut to lay him in his cradle. Conri lifted the blanket and pulled me into his arms. I was happier than I had ever been. Had I known that my joy would be stolen from me, I would have cherished that moment even more.

The next day began like all the others. Pack members went about their assigned duties. Sofia sat on the floor, playing with Adolfo while Marcella helped me straighten up.

A single shout was the only warning before shots rang out. I snatched up the baby and ran outside. The girls followed on my heels. Several men had infiltrated our camp. One of the children lay on the ground writhing in pain.

The fight was brutal. While werewolves weren't easy to kill, it was still possible. And they would suffer far more damage in their human forms. Even so, there were many more of the invaders dead or dying.

I searched frantically for Conri while narrowly avoiding the weapons wielded at me. A flash of red hair caught my attention in the distance. I skidded to a halt as my lover, my husband, my Alpha, fell at my feet.

A monstrously scarred man with hatred in his eyes trained his rifle on me. The breath rushed out of me as I recognized his single unmarred eye.

“Javier!” I gasped. “Why?”

“Why? Why?” he laughed without humor. “Just look at me. Look at what you’ve done.”

“I didn't mean for it to happen. I didn't know.” I begged.

Javier’s sneer was terrifying. “None of this would have happened if you had been a proper girl. If you had just done what Papá wanted. But you had to have your own way. Your choice brought death to our parents.”

“You think I don't regret that?” My heart beat faster as he moved his gun to point at Adolfo, who was crying in my arms.

“I see you regretted it so much that you begat his spawn.”

A flash of fur knocked Javier aside before he could pull the trigger. I recognized the werewolf as Sergio’s son, Gabriel. It was an interesting discovery that the children born to a wolf didn't require the full moon to shift. Strong emotions worked just as well. But there were only a handful of their children old enough to transform.

I screamed as Gabriel ripped Javier’s throat open. Blood sprayed everywhere. I was furious with him for attacking us, but he was still my brother. Marcella and Sofia whimpered behind me.

There was nothing I could do for Javier. I shoved Adolfo into Marcella’s arms and knelt by Conri’s side, praying he would be alright. He just needed to hold on long enough for the full moon. Conri looked paler than I had ever seen him, which made me worry even more.

Sergio limped up to us and put his hand on my shoulder. I glanced around. The fight was over. From what I could see, none of the humans had survived. Far too many of the werewolves were hurt or dead.

“Elina, let us get him to your bed,” Sergio said, gently pulling me away so his men could take Conri.

We got him settled and dressed his wound. He had taken a shot far too close to his heart. Conri took my hand in his.

“You’ll be alright. Once the moon comes, you’ll heal up just fine.” I said with more confidence than I felt.

Conri shook his head. “It was a silver bullet, my love.”

I didn't want to believe him, insisting he would get through this. I stayed by his side while the silver poison seeped through his system until it stole his last breath.

My grief at the loss of Conri was all-consuming. The full moon hadn't brought the joy it usually did. I couldn't stop the shift, but I couldn't bring myself to leave him. It made my heart hurt for him not to transform.

The funeral was a blur. I was vaguely aware of Adolfo passing between me, my sisters, and Bea. After the last bit of earth was added to the mound covering my husband and the others wandered away, I laid across his grave and wept. I missed Conri so much. At least he was finally free of the witch’s curse.

I know I should have asked what had become of Javier’s body. By the time Conri succumbed to his injuries, the pack had already dealt with the attackers’ corpses. I had no idea if they had been buried, burned, or even eaten. I found I didn't care.

“Elina,” Sergio said as he walked up behind me.

“Go away,” I moaned.

He stood there quietly but didn't leave. After several moments he tried again. “I’m sorry. We need to discuss this sooner than later.” When I didn't respond, he continued. “As his Beta, I was loyal to Conri. I remain loyal to his line. In order to preserve that line, we need to put up a strong front.”

“What do you mean? Aren't you the Alpha now?” I asked

“No. I’m sure you are too upset to feel it. Adolfo is the new Alpha.” Sergio said.

I lifted my head at that. “How can that be? He’s only a baby.”

“He has the blood of an alpha. Under different circumstances, Conri would have passed on the role when Adolfo was older and deemed ready,” he explained.

I sat up and turned slightly toward him. “What do we do now?”

“As I said, I will follow and serve Adolfo. You have Gabriel’s allegiance as well. Eventually, he will take my role as Beta. In the meantime, we will run the pack.”

An eerie wind blew through the trees causing me to shiver. I trusted Sergio and his son with our lives. Still, some things I wasn't willing to leave to chance.

“There are some here who will see this as an opportunity to usurp the leadership of the pack. It would be all too easy to remove the competition when your Alpha is an infant.” Sergio warned.

I stood and walked up to him. I pulled back the black lace veil. Although blotched and puffy from crying, my face displayed a fury that caused him to step back. He had underestimated how dangerous a female, be she human, wolf, or bear, could be when faced with protecting her child. “No. I will run this pack until such time as Adolfo is ready. I will accept your advice and allow you to continue your duties, but all decisions will go through me.”

Sergio bowed his head. “It is not common for the Luna to command the pack without her Alpha. The others may not follow you.”

“Then they can find another pack,” I stated. “Gather everyone in the camp.”

“Yes, my Luna,” he said, placing his hand on his heart.

I returned to my hut and held Adolfo close. “Bea, please pack our things. Only what we can carry. We can replace whatever we have to leave behind.”

She gave a curt nod and then rushed to comply.

“Marcella. Sofia. Come with me. I need you at my back.” I said as I walked back out. I could see they wanted to ask what was happening but remained quiet.

After the pack was in attendance, I looked around, making eye contact with each and every one. “As you know, our Alpha has died. His son is now your Alpha.” I held Adolfo up for all to see. “Until Adolfo is of an age to lead, you will look to me. Sergio will remain as Beta. In addition, we renounce the name, Cordero. From this day forward, we will take the name, Villalobos.”

There was a rumble of sound as they took this in. Some bowed to him. Others looked defiant.

“We are leaving here. It is only a matter of time before the villages in the area send more hunters. I don't want to lose any more of you.” I continued. “Pack only what you need. Get a good night’s sleep. We leave at first light.”

“Why should we follow a woman?” one of the men called out.

“Because I am your Luna, and I only wish the best for your Alpha,” I said carefully. “If any of you choose not to follow us, you may find your own way. But consider this carefully. You will no longer be a part of this pack. We will not offer aid if you find yourself in trouble.”

Many of them made signs of allegiance before turning to gather their belongings. A small group stood off to the side, talking and shooting me disgruntled looks. Sergio stood at my side until they dispersed.

As we prepared to leave, we were followed by one or another of Sergio’s most trusted wolves. I had to admit it made me feel safer. I was glad he hadn't fought me on usurping the pack.

I spent the night by Conri’s grave. It hurt my heart to leave him behind. “I am sorry, my love. I wish I could stay here to make sure you remain undisturbed. I promise I will protect our son and see that he takes his rightful place as leader of the pack. Our line will rule forever.”

The following day we set off for our new home. I shouldered my pack and tucked Adolfo into his sling. I was tired from my sleepless night, but I pushed through. As the interim leader, I couldn't very well complain about what I had set in motion.

I had chosen to go south and deeper into the mountains. A few weeks later, we broke through the trees to find a small village nestled below us. It would suit our needs.

As the full moon rose, I smiled with satisfaction. “We have found our new home. Go. Kill them or change them as you see fit.” Adolfo burbled in my arms. “Spare the children. They can serve us or join us when they are old enough to decide.”

My pack howled as one. I stayed where I was, along with the wolves usually assigned to caregiving. We watched over the children who could not yet transform. Soon the shouts and screams of those unfortunate enough to live in the village I had set my sights on filled the air.

In time, our new home gained a particular reputation. We named it Corazón del Lobo, but the few who survived an encounter with us warned others to stay away. Because of that, many called our home El Pueblo de Los Muertos.