Our Loss

Our Loss.

The cabin in the woods had been abandoned for years, but one night, a candle burned in the window. I’ve always walked on this trail from work to home and I’ve never seen anyone hang out inside of that old rusty cabin. There was this gut feeling I got from staring at the fake wooden candle, but instead of going inside the cabin I walked right past it and I continued to walk home. After walking twenty minutes I finally approached my light blue cottage house. I walked onto my concrete parking lot and before I could get to my front door my parents were already leaving. “Hey, darling. Your father and I are going to be on a business vacation for about a week or two. Don’t let Luca stay over without us being home.” My mom blurts. She doesn’t even let him stay over even if they are home; which is never most of the time. “Okay, mom. I never do anyway.” I rolled my eyes. I walk past both of my parents, I run into my house and I slam the front door. I grabbed my phone out of my work pants pocket and I texted Luca.

“Babe, my parents are leaving me home alone. Could you come over and hang out with me for a bit?”

I throw my phone on the couch, I glide into the kitchen and I fix myself a turkey sandwich. I take a picture of my meal and I send it to Luca. As I stare at the photo with satisfaction I take a bite of my sandwich.

*KNOCK* *KNOCK*

I cock my head back towards the front door, I skip to the front, I swing it open, I tilt my head forward, I close my eyes and pucker my lips together. “How did you know it was me?” Luca leans in and kisses me. Every part of my body begins to warm up, I continue to smooch his soft brown lips until he yanks his head back and enters my house. I gasp, “My heart just cracked a little bit, but okay.” I close the door, I start to walk over to my kitchen, and I see Luca eating my turkey sandwich. “I knew you’d be over here.” I grin; Luca is such a simple man. His whole family is vegan, but his favorite meal is a turkey sandwich. He starts to laugh at me with a mouth full of bread and turkey. “Close your mouth.” I tease, he rolls his eyes “Fine.” All of the cheese, turkey and mayonnaise mush starts to fly out of his mouth like little tiny spitballs. “You disgust me.” I giggle, I walk away and I start to change outside of my uniform and into something revealing and sexy.

After I finished putting on my black sheer, see through top with skin tight baby blue flare jeans and my black slides I went into the mirror and I began to admire myself. I begin to hear Luca washing dishes so I head over to the kitchen. When I arrive I see him wiping the counters down, cleaning up messes he didn’t create. “You okay?” I ask, he jumps up like he didn’t know anyone was in the house. I scrunch my face up, something doesn’t seem right with him. First it was the kiss, now he’s jumpy. “Yeah, I’m just sleepy.” He insists, but he doesn’t look sleepy; he looks nervous or scared. “How are we going to hang out if you’re sleepy?” I chuckle; I wonder what’s up with him. “Babe, I’m not going to lie. My parents just sent me a message saying I need to come home and go with them to an event.” My heart drops to the floor, “Really?” I whine. “Yeah, I’m sorry. Why don’t you call Leila?” He caresses my face, and leans in to kiss me. I move my head out of reflex, I’m not sure why I’m mad at him but I am. “I’m sorry, babe.” I watch him walk away from me. I roll my eyes, I take a deep inhale and I gently exhale; I begin to search for my phone.

When I find it I realize I’ve gotten multiple text messages from Leila.

“Hey, girl.”

“Do you want to hang out?”

“Josh is leaving me to go hang out with one of his friends.”

Well, this is convenient.. I guess; I text Leila back.

“Yeah, of course we can hang out.”

“Just stop by.”

I go into the back hall, I open my room door and I change into gray sweatpants and a tight dark blue crop top. I go into my living room, I plop on the couch and I wait for Leila to arrive. As I wait I begin to doze off with love and hip-hop blasting in the background.

*BANG* *BANG*

I open my eyes wide, my heart begins to bang against my chest like a hammer. I tip-toe over to my front door and I look through the peephole. A sigh of relief comes upon me, “It’s just Leila.” I whisper to myself, “Calm down.” I take a deep breath in, I exhale gently; I swing the front door open. “Hi!” I cheer, “Hey, I’m sorry I came so late. My parents had me doing the absolute most around the house.” Leila grabs me and gives me a tight hug, “It’s fine. I’m just glad you could make it.” Leila comes inside and plops on my pure white couch, one foot up and the other hanging off. She lays her arms on the small tan pillows; she knows how to make herself feel at home anywhere. It absolutely amazes me, I could never be this way at her house or anyone’s house for that matter. “Do you want something to eat?” I ask; she looks up to me and cheers, “I want to go outside!” I roll my eyes, I hate going places; I just want to be home. “Fine, let's go walk on the trails.” I agonize. “YAY, bring a flashlight because it’s really dark out there.” Leila hops up and waits at the door for me. I go off to my kitchen and I look through all of my kitchen drawers, I couldn’t find a flashlight in there so I move onto my hall closet. I snatch the door open, I feel my hand around the top shelf. “I think I feel a flashlight up here. Pick me up so I can get it.” I shout, Leila makes her way to me, she grabs my waist with both of her arms and she lifts me up. I finally grab the flashlight and we head out the door, we begin to walk on the trail near the cabin. “Majesty, I’m really glad we got to hang out.” Leila grabs my hand and swings it back and forth. “I’m glad too.” I giggle, we lock eyes and it’s like everything we missed from each other's lives started flowing back to us. Just for a second, Leila began to pay attention elsewhere. Her eyes wandered off to the cabin, and all of a sudden I heard her screaming from the top of her lungs. She’s now squeezing my hand and I have no choice but to look towards the cabin too. It’s Josh hanging over the cabin’s stares, his head is bashed laying on a stare while his body is laying out on the porch. Leila throws my hand out of hers and bolts towards her boyfriend’s dead body. I begin to tremble as I take my phone out and I dial 911.

How? Why?

They say he was murdered with something heavy and hard with narrow edges, but they don’t know exactly what the murder weapon is, yet. When I told Luca I found his best friend laid out on the abandoned cabin porch he hung up right in my face and came straight to my house to get answers. Now, he’s trying to investigate his murder like he’d be able to solve it. “You said earlier that day before you walked past the cabin you saw a candle in the window, right?” He questions me, his eyes beady and tired; his voice determined. I look up at the ceiling, stressed; this is the last thing I want to talk about, and even think about. “Yes, Luca..” He ignored my attitude, “Do you remember what kind of candle it was? The candle is the only thing they didn’t find while investigating that cabin.” Of course I remember the type of candle it was; It’s a fake wooden candle with a heart shape engraved in it and it said “Love Forever” on the front of it. Not only am I in love with candles, that candle has been haunting my dreams ever since we saw Josh laying dead on that porch. “No, I don't remember. How can I, boo? What we’re going through is not only traumatizing but it is a great loss for all of us. How can I think about anything else?” I lied right to his face, I did it for him though. He can’t know what I know because he’d become way too obsessed with knowing who holds that candle. That candle is probably not even connected to the murder but he would harass innocent people just to find anyone to blame. “I know, babe. But you know I have to figure this out. Josh is my best friend..” He chokes up, and I know it’s taking everything in him not to cry again. I love him, but we have to let go; and if I told him about the candle it would be impossible for us to do so. “Baby, your family and I are worrying about you. We know you care about this case but it’s not your problem to solve.” I move closer to him, I caress his cheek, I look deep into his light brown eyes and I say “Let it go.” For a second I could tell he was giving in but all of a sudden he swipes my hand away and goes to the other side of my room. I sigh in frustration, I look around my junky room; filled with Luca’s notes, a vision board above my desk and sticky notes all across my queen bed. “Why don’t you go home with this, boo? I honestly don’t want all of this stuff around my room.” I groan, he rolls his eyes, “You mean OUR room.” He insists, I stare at him violently; “Don’t make me hurt you.” I hiss at him, I begin to tear down all his research, I throw the vision board out of my room and into the hallway. I watch the vision board bang into the wall, I jog towards the wall and I see I’ve made an indent. “Fuck, my parents are going to kill me.” I mumble, Luca walks towards me and the wall. He kneels down to my height level and whispers, “This is what you get.” He walks back into my room and he begins to pack his things; I can tell he’s angry. I don’t care, though; I genuinely need some space anyway. He’s been lounging at my house for a week straight ever since we saw Josh that night. Before my family left for their trip they specifically told me not to have Luca hanging around the house while they were gone. Obviously I didn’t listen because I couldn’t leave him alone while he was going through a heartbreak. I go into my room and I watch him put all of his clothes in his suitcase angrily; “Boo, I’m sorry.” I go over to touch his shoulder, but he moves away from me. “Babe, are you really mad because I threw your vision board?” I question even though I know that’s not why he’s mad. “You know why I’m upset.” He rolls his eyes and he begins to walk away from me, “I LOVE YOU!” I shout as he walks out of the front door and slams it.

Am I Dreaming?

A spark of light shines brightly into my face, I open my eyes and it’s the fake wooden candle I saw in the window. It’s in the same place it was before, only I’m inside the cabin. I look up and I see a broken chandelier, and a shallow ceiling. I look under myself and I’m sitting crisscross applesauce on a large pillow; across from me is a blue and white plaid, wool blanket. There’s turkey sandwiches, strawberries, green grapes, and red wine laid out on the blanket. Out of nowhere I hear someone coming, it sounds like they’re coming from one of the back rooms. “Back to what we were talking about.” A deep, and familiar voice speaks to me; all of a sudden I look up without any control. It’s Luca.. “You have to leave Majesty if you want to be with me.” Who’s saying this? Why aren’t I in control of my own body? I’m staring at Luca but I can’t speak. “You know I love you, Josh. But I can’t leave Majesty, I love her too.” Luca sighs.. Josh? I get up from the pillow and something or someone leads me to the bathroom. I’m forced to look into the bathroom mirror and all I see is Josh’s face and broad body in front of my vision. I’m nowhere to be found; I would say this is a dream, but it doesn’t feel like one. I watch Josh watch himself in the mirror as he cries silently.. I feel everything he’s feeling. Betrayed, broken; miserable. He leaves the bathroom and glides to the front door. As he swings the door open, Luca gets up from what I think is a picnic and grabs him by the wrist, “Where are you going?” He utters. I look at Luca and tears fall down my face (Josh’s face, really). “I’m telling Majesty.” He yanks his hand from Luca and begins to walk off the porch. “Oh, no you’re not.” Luca whispers. Suddenly, I feel a hard bang to my head (technically Josh’s head). I jolt my head forward, my eyes open rapidly and I’m back in my room. I turn on my pink and blue floral table lamp, and I get up from my bed. As I hover over my soaking wet sheets I wipe the sweat off of my forehead. That couldn’t be real, I mean that can’t be true. Luca is the sweetest, most honest person I know; he would never kill someone. “It was just a dream.” I told myself, not believing my own words. It felt so real and alive, as if I was in Josh’s head or in his memories. If Luca did hurt Josh, why was he so adamant on knowing about that candle I saw?

“Go back to the cabin” A little voice whispers in my ear.. I hurry to my closet, I grab a black cropped top, a black sweater and black sweatpants. While I put on my clothes I begin to hear another voice in my head: “Bring protection.” After I slid my socks and shoes on, I went into my kitchen and grabbed my house keys off of the key rack. I then open the kitchen drawer and I grab the biggest knife I can find. I put the knife into my tiny black book bag, I zip my bag back up and I head out the front door. Before I can lock my door, I hear my concrete parking lot being walked on. “WHO’S THERE?” I shout, the sound of the steps become louder. “STAY BACK!” I screech, “What’s wrong with you, Majesty?” It’s Luca, I remove my book bag from my back and I grab my knife. I put the knife in my back pocket, hoping he didn’t see what I just grabbed. “What are you doing?” Luca snaps, “Nothing..” I tremble, every bone in my body is telling me to kill him, but my heart is saying wait. “Why are you out here so late?” He questions me once again, “Why are you?” I roll my eyes. He comes closer, and reaches his hand out to me. “Stop playing with me.” Should I act normal? Or should I be fearful? The closer he came towards me the more I backed up, “Why are you moving away from me, darling?” I take a deep breath, I then exhale slowly; “Did you kill Josh?” I blurt, Luca comes closer again, only this time I can see his eyes shining in the moonlight. Big and wide, I see him becoming teary eyed. “Why would you ask me that?” He questions me, my heart is racing. “That wasn’t a no.” I whimper, Luca begins to wipe his teary eyes. “Did you know this whole time?” He begins to sniffle, at this point my heart feels like it could win a marathon. He killed Josh, I can’t believe he would hurt a friend just to prevent the truth from coming out. I can only imagine what he’s plotting to do with me, “Yes, I knew this whole time.” I lied, my palms start to sweat so I wipe them on my sweatpants. “Are you the one who took the candle?” He cries, that’s why he kept asking me about the candle. Someone else must know what happened between Luca and Josh. But who? “What do you mean? Did the candle belong to you or Josh?” I tremble, “Stop playing games with me, Majesty.” He snaps, I jolt backwards in fear. “I’m not playing. I didn’t take the candle.” I squeal; I can see the hurt in Luca's eyes. He walks closer to me, “Baby, you don’t have to be afraid of me.” He promises, but I don’t believe him. “ I just need time. I know you were cheating on me with Josh.” I roll my eyes as a tear falls down my cheek. Luca looks at me in complete awe, like he had no idea I would find that out. I see him reaching into his back pocket, my heart feels like it’s going to explode. I reach into my back pocket, and I swiftly take out the knife. “Here” Luca hands me something, I grab it and it feels like a note. “What’s this?” I ask, “It’s my suicide note, I can’t live with what I’ve done. Especially now that you know.” Luca begins to walk away, “WAIT!” I shout, “Turn yourself in. It’s not fair to your family, your little brother.” Luca swings his head towards me, “You better not tell anyone what I’ve done until I’m dead and gone.” I take my phone out of my little black book bag, and I begin to dial 911. Luca begins to run towards me, as he’s running I see Leila coming from my backyard. I begin to panic, all of a sudden I hear two gunshots. My eyes wide, my heart drops to my stomach. I fall down to my knees and I start to hold Luca. His blood splattering all over me but I don’t care, I bury my face into his. My eyes create a waterfall, and my body becomes numb. I looked up to find Leila, but all that was sitting in front of me was a lit, engraved candle that said “Love Forever”.