Nightfox Reports: A Train to Nowhere

This is a hasty report because this shit just happened. Sometimes I do not even need the internet to stumble onto a weird, horrific event. Sometimes just trying to get home from somewhere I run over a mystery. Tonight I was in Downtown Los Angeles picking up some strictly medicinal herbs for my special brownie recipe from a reliable supplier, and testing some samples of other products he had. (We got baked!). Afterwards I had to take the subway to get back to the Valley so I skated over to Union Station, the hub of all the trains and buses in the Los Angeles area to catch the Red Line to NoHo. Personally, I have no idea why they call North Hollywood “NoHo” when there are tons of Hoes there. (Cue rim shot!) Whatever, I needed to get back to my kip in North Hills to start baking my goodies.

The first car on the train I tried to board was full so I got in the one behind it. The train left Union Station fully loaded, there were no seats available in any of the cars; it was SRO. When the train arrived at the first stop and the doors open there was a sudden round of shrieks, people in the station started freaking out. Security was pushing people away from the car in front of mine. There was no one inside of it and people boarding the car at the next stop had been greeted with seats smeared with blood but no bodies. There was a puddle of blood on the floor of the car next to one door. Despite the security people were crowded around rubbernecking. Some were crying and screaming. Nobody had clue number one what had happened. The train was shut down, everyone was ordered to get off, I heard a cop calling for a hazmat unit and crime scene techs, and sheriffs were running down the escalator to the subway platform. Pretty soon the whole station platform was shut down and trains were being diverted to skip the stop there entirely and everyone (like moi) left lingering around was ordered to go upstairs and keep their yaps shut. (Yeah, that’ll work…)

So I skated to the next station to get back on the subway and went back to the Valley. Taking the Orange Line bus got me to Sepulveda Boulevard fairly quick and people were already talking about the news of a mass murder at the subway station, but I wanted the straight dope (no fillers, please!) so I rushed home to my police radio and listened to the po-po chatter while I baked my brownies. Oh, just so you know I have to say macadamia nuts rock in hash brownies. Approximately thirty people have been reported missing but there were a lot more than that on that train car. Police were checking surveillance videos from the station to identify the people who boarded the train car. No bodies have been located and the tracks have been searched. The train was going at full speed and made no unscheduled stops. Passengers in the adjacent cars of the train were questioned but nobody noticed anything happening. No screams or gunshots were heard and the police do not know how any bodies could have been removed. There are no signs of chemicals like nerve gas or flesh dissolving acids. Assorted purses and bags were just left behind and were being searched for identification. It was a big old mess! So, night dwellers, where did those people go? Are they still alive? What do you think happened to them?