My Last Date

The last time I went on a date, I was still alive. I when it started, I never intended it to be serious. My previous long-term relationship had knocked most of the enthusiasm for romance out of me and after eighteen months off the market, my friends were starting to bug me. So, a casual fling seemed like the ideal way to get them off my back.

I signed up for one of the swiping-based dating sites. I don’t remember which one, they’re all the same. I didn’t have much success. Just days of women unmatching, trolling, or ghosting me. I was beginning to give up. Maybe I just didn’t have the charm I used to, if I ever had any at all, but was no quitter, so I decided to give it one last try. One last swipe before I gave up completely on the dating scene. That’s when I found her. My perfect match, Mary.

Her eyes were emerald green and her long, wavy hair was jet black. She had a smile that melted my heart at first glance. Of course, I’m not purely superficial, and I couldn’t help fearing that someone that beautiful was too good to be true. Still, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to at least talk to her. I swiped right and, to my surprise, it was an instant match.

I opened with something stupid. It was that classic and overdone ‘did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’ line. I still don’t know why I wrote it. I knew it was cheesy and cliché. It was lines like that which got people ignored. Luckily, or perhaps in hindsight unluckily, she chose to message me back.

‘No, but I did bruise my knee climbing up from Hell’ She replied, following by a cheeky winking emoji. I couldn’t help but laugh. If Mary could take my awkwardness in good humour, then perhaps I would be alright after all.

We talked back and forth for weeks. Mary was everything I wanted in a woman. Smart, witty, understanding. Somewhat of an historian with a vast knowledge and interest in a variety of subjects. After a while the idea of meeting was brought up. Naturally I was eager to say yes.

Despite repeatedly telling myself that I was only looking something casual, I found myself wanting to make an effort. In the back of my mind, I couldn’t help wondering if Mary was worth putting the past behind me and trying something more serious. But that was getting ahead of myself. I couldn’t start properly considering those things until I’d met her. I had to at least get the first date out of the way first. Still, I put my best dress on, a semiformal black number with matching high heels, styled my hair as best I could, and took her to the nicest restaurant I could afford.

Mary was even more stunning in person. Those emerald eyes were hypnotising. Every time she looked at me, flashing her shining white teeth from behind her ruby lips, my heart skipped a beat. She didn’t eat a lot. She just kept watching me tuck into my pasta, her eyes fixed forward as she swirled her merlot around her glass. I did think it was a little odd, but I paid it little mind. Maybe she wasn’t hungry. Maybe she didn’t like eating in front of people. Some people were like that. So, I kept eating and we kept talking until it was time to pay the bill.

“So, do you want to come back to my place for a drink?” She asked, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. I blushed and nodded. Perhaps it was foolish to wander off with someone I’d just met, but people do stupid things when they’re rapidly falling head over heels in love.

Her home was a lot further away than I expected. When the taxi took us out of the heart of the city, I was confused. When it continued further still, out of the suburbs, panic started to set. Mary kept assuring me it was fine, that we’d be there any moment, that she’d make me very comfortable. I didn’t have much choice but to go along with her. After all, I had no idea where I was it. It wasn’t like I could just get out and walk.

By the time we reached our destination, it was the stroke of midnight. Her house was at the top of a hill, on a street that had no other residences. Her house was an old mansion, the plaster and paint peeling. It looked like it had been a grand home back in the day, but the day had passed long ago.

“How can you afford this place?” The words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them.

“Oh…” Mary replied, taken off guard as she fumbled with her keys. “Well, when a house is this run down, they go surprisingly cheap.”

The door swung open with a creak. She beckoned me into a long dusty corridor. I followed, growing increasingly apprehensive. She led me to a living area with wooden floors and a leather sofa. There was a fire palace but no television. In fact, there didn’t seem to be much technology of any kind, apart from some dim electric lights. I sat down on the sofa as she lit a roaring fire and poured us both another glass of merlot.

We sat close as we talked for a short while more. Maybe ten minutes, maybe twenty. There was no way to be sure. The more we talked, the more distant she grew, until I noticed she wasn’t talking at all. She wasn’t even looking at me. Her eyes had sunk down to the floor.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“It just feels like such a shame.” She sighed. “You seem nice.”

My heart sank. If I was nice, why was it a shame? Hadn’t the date been going well?

“What do you-“ It happened so fast that I couldn’t even finish my question. Her head wiped round, mouth open in an animalistic, near feral snarl. Two razor sharp k9s dug into my flesh, piercing my skin with surgical precision and sinking deep into my veins. My muscles tensed and my body froze as adrenaline shot around my system. I felt completely paralysed, held in place either by fear or something else entirely. I’m not sure what exactly caused me to pass out so quickly. It could simply have been the shock. All I know is the room was dark long before I was dead.

It may sound strange, but when I woke up in the morgue with a dry throat and searing headache, cold, alone, and so painfully hungry, it didn’t me long to figure out what had happened. I remembered clearly what happened and I knew enough basic vampire lore to understand what I now was. Unfortunately for the people working that day, they were a lot slower on the uptake.

It’s been a couple of years now. I haven’t found Mary again, not yet. I’d like to one day. I want to thank her for my new existence, which though difficult to adjust to, has given me a new appreciation for night life. Besides, now that we’re on equal footing it would be nice to get that second date.

So, why am I sharing this now. Well, I guess the memory is just at the forefront of my mind tonight. You see, I have a date tonight. A simple dinner and a movie with a woman named Emily. She’s a dull, blonde little thing. Not my usual type. Still, I always make an effort. From now on, date with me will always be to die for.