Misfortune

Dimitri is out wandering by the waterways near his house. His friends are all busy today and he didn’t want to be hassled by his parents for being lazy during his last summer break. Just one more year, he thinks, haphazardly tossing a rock into the water. Class of 2006. Woo.

Everyone seems to know what they want to do in life. Some will switch to full-time at their currently part-time jobs, some will go to college, and others have connections for a nice, cushy office job with their parents. Dimitri? He wants to not work as long as he can, understanding that once you’re an adult, you get to do it for the rest of your life.

“But you’ll be free!” His best friend always argues.

“And what does that freedom cost?” Dimitri always argues back.

He lazily tosses in another rock when something catches his eye. An oddly shaped black item sits amidst a few leaves floating on the other side of the water. Curious, he searches for the easiest way over, knowing the waterway is deceptively deep in the middle. He walks along the water until he comes to a bridge, quickly doubling back to the mysterious black item.

What is this? he thinks to himself.

He reaches in and pulls out a large bag. It’s heavy, but manageable. Carefully, he lays it on the ground and finagles the zipper open. Inside are tons and tons of wet cash. Singles, fives, tens, twenties, hundreds! He pulls out the largest bill and looks it over closely. I’ve never even seen a hundred before. Dimitri cautiously checks his surroundings and closes up the bag after sneaking the bill back inside.

So what does a seventeen-year-old boy do with a bagful of cash? He takes it home and counts it. Who wouldn’t?

Once home, he sneaks the bag into his room.

“Hey, Mom. Can I borrow your blow dryer?” he shouts downstairs.

“Sure, but what for?” she yells back.

He eyes the small trail of dirty water up to his room. “My shoes got wet down by the waterways.” he lies, moving over to his parent’s room to fetch her blow dryer from the master bathroom.

“What!” She screams, marching over from the kitchen to the bottom of the stairs and glaring at the now dirty carpet. “Young man—“

Dimitri kicks off his shoes and carries them past the stairs with the blow dryer in hand. “Don’t worry, I took ‘em off before I came in. Sorry about the mess, I’ll clean it later.”

Her eyes give him a look that could kill as he passes by. “You will do no such—“ he cuts off her words by closing the door.

“I’ll do it later!” he screams, shaking his head and locking it behind him, slightly irritated.

He sets down his shoes and opens the bag, dumbfoundedly staring at the hundreds and thousands of dollars before him. One at a time, he uses the blow dryer to air them out, sorting them on the ground as he does. It’s slow going but he remains diligent, wanting to be able to use each bill once he’s done. Halfway down, he comes across a small black notebook. There’s nothing written on the front and it looks old and leatherbound. Deciding it’s still too wet to open right now, he sets it to the side. An hour passes by when he finishes airing out the last bill. Sighing, he leans back and stares at the unbelievable pile of cash before him, entertaining the idea of diving into it like you always see on TV. There’s so much…

He resolves to check out the book first, turning on the blow dryer once more. Just inside the cover, a few names are written out. It’s surprisingly legible for being so waterlogged.

“I see you’ve come into some money.” A strange man says out of nowhere.

Dimitri’s head shoots up, dropping the notebook and aiming the blow dryer at the man like a gun.

“W-Who are you?” Dimitri stutters out.

The gentleman steps forward, smoothly hitting the off button on the blow dryer. “I don’t have a name. I simply follow the money,” he says calmly.

“O-Oh yeah?” Dimitri lowers the blow dryer, staying on edge.

The man nods, looking amused. “Nowadays, one might refer to me as a djinn, but I’m much older than that.”

“Do you grant wishes or something?” Dimitri snarks back with a smirk. He’s never been the type to believe in fairy tales and finds it unbelievable that this is what the man is settling for as an explanation.

The djinn laughs. “Those are genies, and like I said…” he lowers his gaze creating a creepy shadow effect on his eyes, “I’m much older than that.”

“Oh yeah?” Dimitri repeats, more serious this time.

The two stare at each other, the djinn remaining quiet and Dimitri slowly debating the possibility of more fantastical theories, considering the odd way the man appeared. Eventually, curiosity takes over.

“What’s the deal with the money?” he asks warily.

“It’s yours.” The djinn opens his hands, presenting the pile to him. “All 20,000 of it.”

“Really?” Damn that’s a lot. The happy surprise in his voice doesn’t last long as he soon realizes there must be a catch. “What does it cost?”

“Cost?” The djinn tilts his head, intrigued.

“Yeah. No way this is free.” Dimitri points down at the money. “You want my soul or something? Don’t demons always want souls or whatever?”

This makes the djinn laugh even harder. “My, aren’t you charming?”

Growing uneasy, Dimitri glances back at the $20,000 splayed out on his floor. I don’t want to lose my soul or something. “What’s with the names?” He asks as nonchalantly as he can manage.

The djinn picks up the little black book and shakes it out, thumbing through the pages with ease as though they weren’t wet. “Ah, Alexis. She was the last one to have it, you know.”

Dimitri scrunches his eyes together. “Why didn’t she spend it?”

“Who says she didn’t?” The man flips through a few more pages. “William was such a kind person.”

“Was?” Dimitri raises an eyebrow.

“Well, yes. He procured this money over two-hundred years ago. It wasn’t $20,000, but it was still valuable.”

The teen’s mouth moves to the side, confused as to why a mystical being would simply “follow the money”. “So it’s a record? Of everyone who’s ever come across it?”

“Yes!” The book closes with a thud as though it were dry, but that’s impossible. “It used to be a gold coin, dug up thousands of years ago in a faraway land. I don’t remember where, but I remember what he bought.” The djinn smiles dreamily, staring off into nowhere.

“And what was that?”

“Some drink to keep him warm and some women for when that ran dry.”

Dimitri crosses his arms, a million questions still floating around in his head with a strong desire to get to the point. “Can you lie?”

The djinn freezes in place, eyes wide and slowly coming back to meet the teen’s gaze. “Yes, but I prefer not to. I find it is in my best interest to be honest.”

“What’s the catch? I know there’s a catch. There has to be.”

The stranger’s lips tighten, unwilling to let that truth go just yet.

“What do you get out of it?” Dimitri tries again.

The man takes a deep breath, conceding. “Fine.” He cracks open the book to the first page. “This man traded booze and women for an amputated leg. This gentleman purchased a new home in exchange for the profitability of his business. After that, a woman suffered a plague after buying her husband a carriage and horse.”

“So if I spend it, bad things happen.” Dimitri concludes.

“It depends on how you see it.” He shuts the book with irritation. “None of them died, and I don’t need your soul.”

“What do you need then?” Dimitri leans forward, determined to get an answer.

The djinn grins, his smile nearly taking up his entire face. “I feed off the misfortune.”

Dimitri glances back at the money, eyes filling with fear. Knew it had a cost. “What if I gave it away?” Dimitri asks, deciding it’s not worth it.

“Then you would be giving the next person misfortune.” The man calms down, curiously staring at the money too. “Which I would make sure you knew about, so I could feed off of yours.”

A chill goes up and down Dimitri’s spine. How do I get out of it?

There is a knock on the door. “Dimitri?” His mom yells. “Dinner’s almost ready.” There is a short silence when she calls out again. “You said you’d clean this up! You’d better get that done before your father gets home, young man!” Mom growls.

“Okay!” Dimitri shouts back, eyes never leaving the djinn.

“So what will you do?” the djinn asks, happy that he might be able to eat soon too.

Dimitri thinks about this for a long time, grudgingly picking up all the bills and stuffing them back into the bag. “What if I do nothing and leave it for someone else?” Dimitri holds out his hand for the little black book and instead, the djinn gently places it back into the bag.

“Then I suppose I will wait until the next person…” he responds, making his grievance with the idea obvious.

Satisfied, Dimitri zips up the bag and the djinn disappears. I don’t have the heart to destroy $20,000, so hopefully the next person does.

Dimitri cleans up the trail to his room and eats dinner with his family as though nothing were different, slowly forgetting about the djinn and his cursed money. It is, after all, only the start of his summer break. The mysterious bag would soon be forgotten.

Hoping for a lucky break, a businessman notices a bag precariously placed between two dumpsters. On a whim, he checks it, discovering the money and rushing straight home. He tosses the little black book to the side without a care and goes about the process of investing it, $20,000 being exactly what he needed to get things started. The djinn decides to stay hidden, following the value placed into the stocks.

Over the next decade, the money grows much bigger and the man tragically dies in a car accident without ever having spent a penny. With no family, the money makes its way into the government’s hands. In 2020, many things were liquidated to help the country during a sudden pandemic. Without ever knowing why, countless citizens started experiencing an unbelievable amount of misery.

The djinn smiles. “Well, with this much misfortune… I may never go hungry again.”