Jen Reacts: Sinister I & II

I'll start off in media res. I watched Sinister last night and am about to pop on its sequel, Sinister II. And, I'll be quite honest, I don't have high expectations. I refrained from watching the first one when it came out because there was so much bloody hype around it.

Let me tell you, I was right to abstain.

Sinister

Ethan Hawke, as true crime writer Ellison Oswalt (cool nod to Patton Oswalt), is painfully dull. His wife and kids aren't much better. Even the demon, Bughuul, is mediocre. You get one stupid jump-scare from him at the end. Otherwise, you're just watching a family living in near pitch-black conditions (Seriously, doesn't anyone ever use lights? Are they all trying to save on their electric bills?) for 109 minutes. Pure. Drudgery.

The movie was actually inspired by a nightmare that its co-writer, C. Robert Cargill (who worked on the sequel and, later, on Doctor Strange) experienced. So, you think that'd be eerier, right? Wrong. I've had daydreams more terrifying than this.

I'm also curious to know how the deleted scenes featuring a neighbor played by Angela Bettis (yes, the gorgeous star of May) would have impacted the otherwise-dry narrative. Would Bettis have given us one of her alluring, intriguing characters? Would she have been the one bright spot in this otherwise dim movie?

I don't know. But shame on the filmmakers for cutting such a seasoned horror actress out of the final product! Shame!

Anyway, let's get on with it. I'm giving Sinister II a chance. I haven't read any reviews, heard any fan commentary. I'm going into it with only my knowledge of the first film. Let's see if this sequel at least tries to create a more interesting lore around the fictional demon Bughuul.

Sinister II: A Play-By-Play

Let's start this shit-show the exact same way we started the last shit-show... Said no filmmaker ever. Okay, lies. These filmmakers did. Open with some kid having a dream of a family being lit on fire at the stake. Oh no, Bughuul is in his room!

Cut to now-ex-Deputy So & So from the previous film confessing for his first time to a priest. He wants to know how to stop Bughuul. The priest warns him to stay away, but Deputy knows it will happen again.

Cut to the Collins family. Mom Courtney is escorting twin sons Dylan and Zach through the grocery store. She runs out of the store, pursued by some dude who is apparently following her. It turns out the house they live in is being investigated by Deputy So & So.

Zach is worried about Dylan, who is different while living on their rural farm. Dylan is visited by some weird-ass kid who is probably a ghost, who wants to show him something. The boy shows him the home movies from hell. Another ghost boy shows up and shows the tape of his family getting eaten by gators.

Deputy heads to the house, intent on burning it down, but soon realizes it is occupied. Courtney thinks he was hired by her ex to take the kids, but the Deputy explains that he is there to follow up on the Oswalt case. Courtney lets Deputy poke around so long as he tells no one he is there.

A nice little nod to Night of the Living Dead...

Ope! Looks like Bughuul is following Deputy with a few not-scary jump-scares. What's with this guy? And seriously, the music in both films takes so much away from an eerie atmosphere. Less is more, guys. Less is more.

Cut to a girl showing Dylan her family's deaths one Christmas. Dylan doesn't want to watch the movies. Zach admits the next day that he can see them too. Surprise, surprise. Courtney takes Deputy to the church on the property where a family was killed. Deputy looks around on his own. He gets frightened by a rat, which is actually scarier than Bughuul.

Professor Jonas from the first film is missing, and his replacement says the Prof left something behind. Dylan and Deputy chat, but they're interrupted by Courtney's ex, who is clearly a douchenozzle. Deputy reveals he was arrested in the Oswalt case and that the press would have a field day if the officer - acting illegally - arrested him for stepping in. He tells Courtney the family can't leave the house. He says it'd be because Courtney would be a flight risk and lose the kids.

Deputy stays for dinner and the night, though he doesn't feel safe in the house. He explains to Courtney that he was cleared of all charges, and she knows he misses being a deputy. He accurately guesses that Dylan was beaten by the ex, Clint.

Meanwhile, Dylan is coerced into watching more movies and the audience is subjected to hideous grating music. He leaves, but Zach is annoyed that he wasn't chosen by the ghost kids.

Deputy goes out to meet with Dr. Stomberg, Professor Jonas' successor. He plays a recording for Deputy. It had coordinates to a house in Norway where a family was murdered in 1973. Jonas found more than the pattern. The piano was crucial. The murders are always captured through art.

Cut to Zach beating up Dylan. Ghost kids show up to protect Dylan. They taunt him to destroy his family. Dylan later dreams and sees himself holding a sickle. Ghost Boy then shows Dylan his murder video. Cue shitty music! And death by rat.

Dylan refuses to watch the last video and runs to the church where Bughuul pursues him. The kids tell him Dylan did what he needed to do... Which probably means they've chosen Zach instead. Yup, I was right.

Douchnozzle shows up again. The family is forced to leave and go stay with Douchenozzle. Oh, he's so gonna end up dead. Deputy realizes too late that they left the house. Deputy goes off to find them and does, warning Douchenozzle they're all in danger.

Zach sets his plan in order. He lights Douchenozzle on fire first. Deputy runs into him with his car though and rescues Courtney and Dylan. But Deputy does lose a few fingers from a sickle slice to the hand. Deputy destroys the camera, so Bughuul comes and takes Zach. Then the house burns down.

Deputy goes to his hotel to retrieve his belongings, but the radio from the Dr's office shows up and plays. Cue another lame jump-scare from good ol' Bughuul.

This was a serious let-down, but the sequel is somewhat more interesting than its predecessor. Deputy is more likable than Ellison Oswalt, and the kids are actually involved a bit more. But it has a lot of the same pitfalls as the original.

I just don't get the appeal. These aren't scary. At all. On any level. It is probably one of the worst horror films put out by Blumhouse, and they can be hit or miss. This series was a huge, huge miss.