I Went To House of Horror: Haunted Carnival- It Was Cute!

Way down in Doral, there's an awesome spooky little carnival that runs from from September 29th to October 31st. Located snug at the edge of International Mall, you'll find more than scares there- tons of delicious food, and genuine carnival rides! I went for the first time ever, and now I'm going to review it, and hopefully convince you (if you're in Florida, or coming next week at least) to give it a try:

The Haunted Houses

There are three haunted houses- Insanitorium, Drown Town, and Silent Mall- and a fourth "attraction" called Studio X. Each house is numbered, so you know which way to go, and they're all right next to each other. Literally, they're all built within the same building, set up like neighboring portals of frights. I decided to go at it odds and evens. So, of course, I went to the first house: Insanitorium.

Warning: Every one of these houses featured a lot of strobe effects. I don't have any health issues that strobes would effect, but I felt a little queasy after all those lights so: If you have light sensitivity or have health issues regarding strobe lights, do not go!

There's not really any description of the houses at the event, but on the website the house is given a small description of: a place where the patients give you nervous breakdowns. So likely a story of a patients rioting at this asylum- which, honestly, the horror community at large needs to do away with this because . . . it was/is real. People with mental health issues or who were neurodivergent were absolutely thrown into little more than cages and treated horribly quite often. I don't know why, but even after staring at the name it didn't click for me that they were using this story line. But, this was the first house, and it was interesting to see how close the scare actors liked to get without touching. Wheeling chairs in front of your feet to stop you, leaning in and snorting, jumping out and shrieking shrill and short. I could feel that the scare actors wanted to be here, and that really helped add to the atmosphere.

Next up, I did house number three, Silent Mall! The bedraggled girl they chose as the mascot for this house bares a startling resemblance to Sadako from the Ring, but her name is Misshhhell (you know, "shh", Silent Mall, it- it's a pun-) and she shows up sporadically through the house. You have to be quiet through the house, or risk her wrath! She seems more like a monster suitable to a library, but maybe that's where the genius lies- lots of obnoxious, loud folks go to malls. Before you even get in, though, there's a cool bit of extra immersion in the giant TV set that's set up between house two and three that details the rules of the houses and some other creepy images, alongside short clips of Misshhhell signaling you to stay quiet. I did really like the idea of this house; Hollywood really needs to to revisit the idea of an abandoned mall with slashers and/or monsters in it- Chopping Mall just isn't enough. You're walking through parts of a department store and seeing various "bodies", killers, and a deformed mutant creature or two throughout. I think my favorite part was the guy who jumps out of the box.

Now, on to evens with house number two: Drown Town. Easily my favorite house of the three! I think it was a town that suffered from a flood maybe? And now most of the residents are dead . . . some great usage of scare actors in this place, but what really solidified it as my favorite was that after I passed a group of cowering pre-teens who motioned me ahead . . . I was alone in this house. The group in front was too far ahead of me, and the kids behind me were still skittering around and fearful of the cute scare actor grinning at them. So, I got a lot of scare actors focused solely on me, which was awesome. I passed through broken down houses, a failed summer barbecue . . . it was just fun.

Now the fourth attraction is just a large sort of like display area. Bones and warped human parts in glass cases, a large "circus" area where you can pop your head through the Whack-A-Mole game and be the mole . . . a drink company whose name escapes me (Cult-something) set up an altar for Day of the Dead- but it was cool because they set it up like a church sort of, with pews that had a few dressed up skeletons and lots of fake candles. The coolest thing in there though was the short vortex you could walk through. It spun, a dark blue background with neon speckles that warped around the edges of your vision and messed with your balance.

Overall, not the scariest houses I've ever been in, sure- but I enjoyed it all the more because they're a local haunt, with lots of people there who are really there because they love Halloween just as much as I do. I'm well practiced in suspension of disbelief, and can totally ignore the shop mannequin props and pool noodle obstacles- in fact I appreciate the care to change up textures. The House of Horror team put a lot of care and work into setting up these houses, and I really appreciate that.

6/10

The Rides

Good old fashioned carnival rides here folks! There was a little zippy roller coaster, the pendulum swing, two swing rides (one high, one low), a carousel, hang gliders, Scat 2 (be an adult would you?), and something else that I can't remember the name of . . . but it looked fun.

I only went on two, because I've been on plenty of rinky dink roller coasters before this and had my fill, and the pendulum ride at Busch Gardens is hard to beat. I checked out Hang Glider first, and I adored it! The nights are cool and crisp this time of year, so getting to swing through the air was a wonderful experience, made better by the fact that I might have waited no more than five minutes. I think Bad Bunny was playing while I was circling through the air? Either way, what a fun time- the cool brisk wind whipping at my face, the music, the joyous calls of the other riders, and the beautiful lights!

The other was called, for whatever reason, Scat 2. I swear to you I've seen this ride in like, a bunch of movies that featured a local fair at some point, and I've always wanted to try it. This orange grated monstrosity was a little longer of a wait, but well worth it. Once you step into the open air "cage", you take a spot against a padded wall, chain yourself to it for safety, and lean back. The ride starts off slow to get you used to the sensation of spinning, but then, oh- it goes. At some point you're not even able to push your neck forward because of the force of gravity pinning you!

8/10

The Food

Jesus Christ, that food was insanely delicious. And, it's funny, the food is like the first major thing you see when going into the carnival- this long pathway with stands and food trucks lined up on either side. The very first one is this awesome, gigantic stand where a dude is just slowly rotating turkey legs and other large slabs of chicken and beef on this sort of iron rack. They sold mozzarepas (of which I had two, and damn that cornbread was sweet), turkey legs, chicken wings, fries, chicharrons, and more.

I mean, there was just so much food . . . ! Paletas, ice cream, at least three different places sold burgers, funnel cakes, churros, lemonade ($8 though?!), caramel apples, pizza, gyros- and I had the best tacos of my life at Tiagos Tacos. There was everything you could want from fair food (and, yes, they had deep fried Oreos), and more, and I just think the price of the ticket is worth it for the food alone. The haunted houses are just a bonus.

10/10

Listen, it's important to support your local small business- and it's just as important to support your local small haunts! What they lack in the mega budgets Universal Studios and Disney sling around, they make up for with enthusiasm and creativity. So, if you're a Floridian- or are at least in Florida up until October 31st- come down to House of Horror! Enjoy the atmosphere, the food, and the knowledge that Halloween is forever. Even if you're not in Florida, maybe this article can inspire you to consider the small haunts that are waiting for you in your neck of the woods.

As always . . . Happy Haunting~!