I Accidentally Summoned a Demon

Soooooo…. Yeah. Uh, I think I need some help. I accidentally summoned a demon. I know, I know. It sounds both crazy and incredibly stupid. But it happened, and I’ve been living with it for almost two and half years now. And you know? Things were actually fine. Until lately, when things went to absolute shit. Because I can’t have nice things. Ugh, fuck.

Okay, so this all started in January 2020, before the entire world shit its pants and everything changed. I was getting gas, of all things, and being the kind of person who can’t not be entertained for 5 minutes while my car fills up, I was scratching random patterns into the salt stains on my car. It was wicked cold, as it tends to be in Canada in January, and my fingers were dried out to practically raisins because, you know, winter. My skin cracked just next to the nail and I smeared blood on the car window. Hissing in pain, I immediately stuck my finger in my mouth. Then I realized what I had just done, tasting salt and grit on my tongue. Seems wild now, that I just put my finger in my mouth, in public, after touching who knows what. How ignorant of me. Just then the hand pump clicked off, startling the crap out of me and I yanked it out, throwing myself off balance and tried to yell “oh shit!” But I still had my finger in my mouth and was trying to gain my balance as I slipped on a small patch of ice so it came out more like “ohghuhkdn!”. I’m sure the attendant inside got a huge laugh at my expense. Somewhat embarrassed, I put the hand pump away and slunk into my car, shaking my head at my general stupidity and still tasting salt and grit. Gross.

My car isn’t exactly the best. In fact, it’s an old, beat up piece of shit. But it gets me from point A to point B, if doing so with the bare minimum of necessities. To beat the cold, I had to crank the heat to maximum, with the fans on full speed. I had the radio (the only source of music that works) turned up super loud so I could hear it over the fans. It had been a long day at work, and I was pretty proud of myself for getting gas on the way home, instead of waiting until the morning like I usually did. During the drive, I thought I heard a voice under the music, but like I said it was a long day, and I was too exhausted to deal with any burgeoning mental illnesses. It would have to wait until tomorrow.

My bad.

The next morning, I peeled myself out of bed, and made my way through my morning routine in a way that would make a zombie concerned. I wasn’t exactly living the dream, working a boring 9-5 office job that was just as drab as the rest of my life. It felt like my entire life was grey, especially in January. The sky was grey, my office building was grey, my cubicle was grey, even most of my apartment was grey. Grey roads, grey slush, grey trees, grey snow. Just, living the dream, ya know?

The morning after my near death experience at the hands of my general lack of coordination, I got into my car and sat on something that crinkled under my butt. Thinking it was just some trash I had left from one of my many fast-food meals, I pulled it out and tossed it onto the passenger seat without looking at it, and carried on with my day.

My commute to work is a slog. If there are 8 snowflakes in the sky people immediately forget how to drive. And just a reminder, I live in CANADA. We get a lot of snow. People are fucking idiots. So I’m sitting there, stuck on the highway in stop-and-go traffic, trying to not get rear-ended or side swiped by folks who just don’t bother to look, and rolling my eyes at the number of people around me who were white knuckling it. I shit you not, I could see at least 3 people who looked terrified, and kept glancing up at the sky, where fat, fluffy snowflakes were lazily making their way down, but not enough to have any kind of accumulation. Just enough so that you would need your windshield wiper fluid, as the melted snowflakes smeared the wintertime gook that is ever-present from December to April. Washer fluid that, of course, my car was out of. I resigned myself to a streaky, squinty drive the rest of the way. Bored out of my mind, I tried singing along with the radio, resisting the urge to pick up my phone, when I glanced at the passenger seat. What I had sat on earlier was distinctly NOT trash. It was a scroll. Like, Harry Potter, fantasy novel, medieval type shit. It was even sealed with wax.

“Huh,” I said, intelligently.

I was kind of curious about it, but honestly I thought it was one of my buddies playing a joke on me. It’s not like my car is hard to get into. I don’t even lock it most nights. What are they going to take? My super kick-ass old broken stereo? My 80 Tim Horton’s cups in the back seat? Come to think of it, maybe that’s why my car smells so weird. Hm.

I pulled into the parking lot at work and just sat in my car, staring into nothing, trying to mentally prepare for another day of mindless work. Then I remembered the scroll. I picked it up, and examined the wax seal. Pretty fucking fancy if one of my friends did it. It was a circle with smaller circles connected with lines and other circles. I would become pretty intimately familiar with that symbol, but telling you more about that now would be spoilers, sweetie. I took a picture of it with my phone, because it was actually pretty cool, and then cracked it open.

Inside was a letter, written in the fanciest calligraphy I’ve ever seen. If this was one of my buddies, he’d gone all out. I could see that it was actually written in ink, not printed. The paper was thick, and felt nice in my hands. Who knew paper could feel nice?

The letter said:

“Dear Ryan Preston (that’s me),

Why have you summoned me only to leave me in this cesspool and deprive me of sustenance? I am -“

I stopped there.

What the fuck?

I wanted to read more, but I was going to be late for work, so I grabbed by bag and my coffee. The fancy writing was a bit challenging to read, so I definitely didn’t have time to read the whole thing and still be on time. And there was no way I was taking it into work. But, I felt kind of bad that I had apparently trapped something in my car and hadn’t fed it, so I left my chocolate dip donut as an offering. I know, I’m a true hero. I opened the door, and feeling kind of stupid as I got out of the car, I said out loud,

“The donut is all yours, hope that’s enough for now. Tell me what you eat and I’ll get it for you. Unless it’s people. God, I hope it’s not people. Anyway, I hope that’s enough, I’m late for work. Sorry!”

Then I slammed the door and hurried into the grey box of a building, sliding into my desk just barely on time.

I slogged through my work day, making small talk with my coworkers, going to meetings that could have been emails, and looking for excuses to leave my desk so I could at least stretch out my back. I’m 28 but I swear I have the back of a 50 year old man thanks to my office’s shitty chairs. Ergonomic seating my literal ass.

5:00pm finally came and I was out of there even faster than normal. There was always a wait at the elevator, so I took the stairs, partially aware that taking the stairs at top speed was a recipe for disaster. But, by some miracle, I made it down and out the door in one piece, and all but sprinted to my car. Taking a deep breath, I shoved my key into the lock (yeah, it’s that old), pulled open the door, and slid into the seat. I fumbled, but finally got the into the ignition, said a little prayer to the car gods that it would start, and twisted the key. The car rumbled to life, blasting freezing air into my face. It would take a few minutes for the car to heat up, because, you know, January. Rubbing my hands together, I looked around my vehicle.

The donut sat there on the centre console. The scroll sat where I had discarded it on the passenger seat. I felt both relieved and disappointed. This was clearly a joke. I tried to think of which of my friends would go this far, fancy scroll and all, just to wind me up. Maybe the scroll would tell me? Curiosity got the best of me.

I unrolled it and continued reading.

“I am a high ranking demon of knowledge. This prison you have summoned me to is disgusting, and lacking in resources that are required by a demon as powerful as myself. You have made a grave error, mortal. I will not tell you my secrets, even if you starve me until I am nothing but a husk. You can parade me around in this vile mobile metal cage all you want, you’ll never find what you’re looking for.

This is your one and only warning: I will tear you limb from limb the first chance I get. Send me back, and I will forget your grave error. You have 24 hours.”

Below that, it was simply the same symbol as the wax seal. No name, nothing.

I read it again. And then again. I turned to the passenger seat and slid it into my bag, then slowly and carefully turned to the front of my car. Some kind of animal instinct had kicked in, making me hyper aware of my movements, and making me move very, very slowly. I guess I didn’t want to move too quickly and startle it? Yes, that’s definitely it and not that I am a total coward. I sat there, trying to be as still as possible, my mind racing with possibilities, most of them ending in my untimely, horrific demise.

Then I realized that whatever it was, it probably wasn’t like the t-rex in Jurassic park, and could likely see me even if I stayed perfectly still.

The longer I sat, the more I was sure there was somebody - something - behind me. So, I did the only thing I could think of: I introduced myself. I never said I had a strong sense of self-preservation.

“Uh, hi high ranking demon of knowledge, I’m Ryan Preston, but you can call me Ryan,” I half mumbled, half yelled. It’s a special skill I’ve developed over years of being especially socially awkward.

Silence, other than my car making all kinds of weird noises and the fans blowing slightly less freezing air into my face.

Then, suddenly my ears felt like they do when the plane is taking off, but before they’re ready to pop. A pressure that was slowly building and I had no way of getting rid of it.

“I know who you are, Ryan Preston,” rumbled a voice, deep and throaty.

“Okay, okay. Cool cool cool. Cool cool cool cool cool,”

I didn’t know what else to say. That’s my go-to uncomfortable response.

“Why have you brought me here?”

This time the voice was closer, almost whispering in my ear. Oddly, a strange smell enveloped me, something like wax and old books. I’m not too manly to admit I was beyond terrified. I even peed myself a little. This, this here, was where I died. I just hoped it was minimally painful. I’m a total wimp when it comes to pain.

“I didn’t mean to!” I blurted out.

“It was all by accident! I didn’t even know you were there until I got your letter! Scroll? Whatever you want to call it! I was just getting gas and then I cut my finger - well I didn’t really cut it, it actually split because my skin is so dry because it’s winter. My mom has been on me to get hand cream because my hands are always really dry in the winter and sometimes they split and it really hurts when they do, especially when it’s on my palm, and it makes it hard to type and stuff, which sucks because for my job I actually have to do a lot of typing. That’s where we are actually, in my work’s parking lot. It’s that building right there. This is my car, it’s old and-“

“SILENCE” bellowed the voice, making me jump and realize that I had basically just word vomited all over a supernatural entity, likely a demon that was about to brutally murder me, and probably take my soul for good measure.

“This was foretold,”

Have you ever had your brain just… stop? Like, mouth open, could probably drool, can’t form any kind of coherent thought, staring into nothing, full stop? That’s what happened to my brain. I was already trying to understand what was happening, and now this? There was just no comprehending anything anymore.

“It was prophesied that a Demon of high rank would be summoned to earth by one who is ignorant of their actions” the voice boomed.

“…Ignorant” I repeated lamely.

“The demon that was summoned, despite their rank, would be stripped of all power upon being summoned, causing them to become dependent on the human summoner to provide sustenance,” the Demon continued.

“Sustenance?” My brain was starting to work again, and I realized what he was saying.

“Yes. In order to gain back my power, for the final piece of the prophesy.”

The demon sounded… hesitant. The DEMON. What kind of thing would make a demon hesitate? I didn’t want to know. But of course, my stupid mouth ran without my brain’s consent.

“The final piece being?” My treacherous mouth asked.

“Sometime in the coming years, there will be an event. It will be up to me to contain that as much as possible in order to mitigate damage, as it will damage all realms when it happens,”

“Oh,” was all I could say.

“I will not kill you. Today,” the demon declared.

“Thank you,”

We sat there for several minutes, me just staring out at the empty parking lot. I was trying to catch up on everything that just happened. Trying to work everything out felt like trying to build a castle out of Jello on a hot day. After about 5 minutes of frightened confusion, it hit me.

“So, um, I’m supposed to feed you, right?”

“Indeed,” agreed the demon.

“So what do you eat?” I asked, dreading the answer, and already kicking myself for asking.

“People. Lots of people,”

Complete, full on terror set in. My mind raced. I was supposed to feed this thing people? Images of me trying to find people and trying to trick them into getting into my car, only for them to be violently consumed by my pet demon filled my mind. Then, I realized that he might want them dead first, and I was going to become a murderer. But if I brought people alive for them just to die, doesn’t that make me a murderer anyway? I was going to go to jail. And then who would feed the demon and protect the world? Who knew if that was even the truth?

There was a strange huffing sound coming from the back seat. It took me a minute to realize what the sound was.

It was laughing. The demon was laughing at me.

“I do not eat people. I consume knowledge,” the demon said, still laughing.

Great, so not only was I responsible for this demon, but he was a sassy demon. That would be my luck.

“Knowledge? Like out of people’s brains? Or from books?” I asked, hoping for the latter.

“From books, television, radio, or any other source you can think of. And I’m starving,” he grumbled. He wasn’t laughing any more. He sounded almost… whiney.

So I turned on the radio and switched it over to CBC Talk Radio.

“Will this do for now?” I asked, hopeful.

“For now,” he replied.

And so we drove off into the sunset, because it’s January and the days are short.

So, that was how I accidentally summoned a demon. Things were peachy after that. He was still confined to my car. I brought him books that were rich in information, like encyclopedias. I bought a portable radio after he drained my car battery by turning the car’s radio on. I even cleaned out all the Tim Hortons coffee cups. I never actually saw him, only impressions of him occasionally in my rear view mirror. There is one thing though: I never gave him access to the internet. I’m not sure why, it was just a gut feeling that it would be a bad idea to give him unfettered access to basically infinite knowledge. Maybe that was a mistake. Oh well, live and learn.

Except.

Recently, he’s been acting weird. Fidgety almost? Worried, and going through the stuff I bring him faster than normal. Demanding more, and demanding it more frequently. He’s significantly more powerful than he was, thanks to years of me providing him with information. And that was fine, good even. He was preparing for some big battle or whatever. But, in the last few days he’s been angry, aggressive. He didn’t and wouldn’t talk to me. And it’s not like I didn’t try. We had a pretty good banter going before, and I actually considered him a friend. Stupid me, he’s a demon. I’ve been getting more and more frightened of him over the past few weeks. He seems more like the terrifying demon that I first met, that threatened to murder me, than the demon I’ve come to know.

And then this morning, he was gone. He left me a scroll. I don’t know what to do now.

I broke the wax seal. His message was short, the writing clearly scrawled quickly. This is what it said:

Ryan,

The event is imminent. I need more knowledge, so I have left you to seek other sources. I can not protect you. You will likely die. I am sorry.

Then his symbol.

Cool. Cool cool cool cool. What do I do now?