How Was I Supposed to Know?

I don’t know how to say this.

I thought I paid all my debts.

I thought that everything was okay.

I am so sorry it has come to this.

My whole life I made sure I didn’t owe anyone for anything.

Then, it just sort of happened.

I was in way over my head because I got arrogant. I thought I would do better than everyone in history.

I made a bet.

I lost.

I could not pay it back.

I borrowed the money.

Then, to pay off one loan I took out another. Then another. Then another.

There was no way to crawl back out. There was no use.

Then, I had a dream one night.

A strange man approached me. Caucasian, carefully placed blonde hair. I couldn’t see his eyes because he had on tinted glasses, not sunglasses, though, mind you. These looked like eyeglasses that had transitional lenses for when you go from inside to outside, except they were shaded even indoors. He wore a sharp black suit, no brand as far as I could see. A crisp white shirt under the jacket and slightly extending out of the sleeves of his jacket. He had a skinny black tie and brilliant silver cuff links.

Overall, he was one of the best-dressed guys I had ever seen. I’m not afraid to say it, he was handsome. Maybe even beautiful.

I had a meeting with him.

I don’t know how I knew it, but I did.

So I walked over to him and extended a hand.

He turned towards me, the corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile, and took my hand in his, “So, you may be wondering why I asked you to meet me.”

“Yeah, I think I am.”

Half smile again. Such an alluring expression.

“I am here to pay off your debts. In full. I am not asking for any money in return, either. I want to completely pay all your loans and any other financial debts you may have accrued.”

I was shocked.

My jaw had dropped for a moment, and I was staring at him with my mouth open. “What? Why? Why would you do that? I don’t even know you.”

“Oh, but I know you. Don’t get me wrong. This is much to my benefit, you see. I said I didn’t want any sort of financial return. However, I will need to call in a favor eventually.”

He turned away from me and placed his hands in his pant pockets, flashing a silver ring on his pointer finger with a deep, deep red stone.

“What do you think about that arrangement?”

I wasn’t sure if this guy actually had any idea how to pay off all my debt or how much I owed, but it seemed like an easy trade. A favor for all my problems? No-brainer.

“Yessir, I think that would suit me just fine.”

At this, his demeanor changed.

He turned back towards me so quickly it caught me off guard, and he practically threw his hand at mine to shake it vigorously.

I could see my reflection in his glasses this close.

That was it.

I woke up.

From there, I can’t explain what happened but one way or another I found money to pay off one loan after another.

A relative died and left me a sum of money.

A business venture which had previously failed began to take off.

A bank had lost my paperwork and showed I never owed them anything. The person who I had personally interacted with had taken a job elsewhere and couldn’t be reached.

Within a few weeks all my debt was gone.

“I thought I had paid all my debts. I thought I paid all my debts. I thought everything was okay. I am so sorry it has come to this. You have to believe me. I had no idea this was the favor he was going to ask of me!”

I held the gun to her temple and pulled the trigger. “I resisted. I really tried. I’m not in control anymore.”

I sobbed uncontrollably.

My body ached I was crying so hard and for so long.

How was I supposed to know who he was?

How was I supposed to know he would make me kill someone?

How was I supposed to know it would be my own daughter?

I put the barrel of the gun in my mouth. I pulled the trigger. I felt the flash of searing pain. Then, I felt nothing.

I opened my eyes and pulled the gun back out of my mouth. I heard a voice behind me, “Your debt isn’t repaid just yet. I’m not letting you go that easy.”

...

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