Furry Eyes

It almost had me that time.

All I can think about while I’m staring at my baggy eyes in the mirror is that I almost lost it. The insomnia has kept me up for what feels like decades and without rest, my mind is starting to play tricks on me. I believed for a moment, sitting up right at the dinner table, that I was beginning to get some sleep, but the spongy wood of the tabletop brought me out of the trance.

I haven’t left this studio apartment for two days now, or wait, the clock says two past twelve, so three days. Not trusting myself at work, I called in sick the first day and shut off my phone. I thought I heard a knock yesterday at my door, but by the time I found a good hiding spot in my bathroom, it had stopped. It took me several hours to coax myself out of the dry tub and back into the bedroom, kitchen, dining room living area that is the rest of my apartment.

There is electrical tape neatly covering the entire window in here. When the first sunrise shone through, I felt as if I was going to retch everything I’d ever eaten right onto the futon. Taping up the window also help me feel better about being naked. It was the irritating touch of clothing that started this whole business but I couldn’t stand the thought of one of my neighbors seeing my pasty flesh.

The goal here is not to move, the secret of keeping it all away is not to move. Whenever I shift, I can see movement in my peripheral vision. I’m not sure who I’m seeing, they are always gone by the time I take a second glance. As sleep tries to take over, the visions become more frequent. I find myself hurting my neck with each twitch to track the movement, turning my muscles into frayed rope.

My ears are starting to ring. It was quiet before, hardly a whisper; but now the noise is building like a symphony’s tuning crescendo. The tabletop is cutting into my hands as I grip it against the rising ringing. I’m curling in on myself against the noise, but it doesn’t seem to help. The strain of folding in on myself is adding another toll to the now chorus of ringing in my ears.

Someone is starting to scream in my voice. My chest feels too tight and my blood is rushing to my face. The ringing is getting so loud I can barely hear the screaming. I can’t feel the chair I was sitting on. Wait, I can’t feel the chair I was sitting on.

The ringing has ceased, so I take a breath. The air suddenly feels wet and cold in my chest. I release the table and by the time I peel open my eyes, it’s gone. An endless blackness floats in front of me where punky wood should be. There is no floor; there is no chair, table and no studio apartment.

A sharp wave of anxiety snaps through my body, starting at my floating toes and quickly finishing at the back of my neck. All the hair on my body stands on end as if trying to escape my skin. I’m twisting my body, but I can’t feel the air move around me.

There is a tickle at the bottom of my spine. When I reach for the tickle, my hand becomes buried in a ball of smooth fur that jiggles gently into my hand. I fold my hands into the fur and bring the tickle in front of me. In my hands I’m holding a football sized clump of hair. The softness is calming and as I stroke it, two eyestalks cautiously peer at me from one end of the creature.

We regard each other curiously, frozen in a moment of time. When I begin to stroke its hair, it snuggles close to my belly. The shuffling of hair against my naked body is soothing and I can feel a gentle calm wash over me as I stroke this creature. With more petting, the eyes on the creature appear to relax. I feel it resting against me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I catch the movement and snap my head up to see it. This time I see it and I wish I had not. A single, bright eye is watching me. A small pupil surrounded by blue, green and white is regarding me. I try to scream, clutching my friend to my chest but no sound comes out. My friend shutters against my chest, as terrified as I am. Then the eye blinks, and more eyes, some smaller, some larger, begin to open in the darkness.

I try to scream again and get the same result of nothingness. The creature in my arms shutters again, begging me to protect it. More and more eyes are opening all around me. They stare down at my head, and up at my feet, just out of reach. They are to my right and my left. They are behind me and in front of me. My screaming is noiseless and my twisting doesn’t seem to be actually moving me. All I feel is the burning of their stare on my naked flesh and the shuttering of the poor creature with me.

I am trying to clamp my eyes shut but they refuse. No matter where I turn or how much I crush my face, I still see the eyes bearing down upon me. Curling in on myself, I can block most of my view by watching my new friend in my arms. It has a sorrowful look in its eyes as our gazes meet. I can see the others around me still, but I am focusing on this sad creature. Suddenly an idea for escape dawns on me, the creature jiggling in my arms with glee as if reading my mind. We can escape.

Quickly, I bring the creature to my face and slam my teeth into the ball of hair. As I rip and tear at this creature, it jiggles and shakes with glee. We’re going to get out of here! Those eyes won’t be able to follow us where we are going. Each time I pull my mouth away from my friend, it leaps closer to my face, following my head to help me continue. Its hair gets caught in my throat and is difficult to swallow, but my friend helps where it can, wiggling its way down into my belly.

Even as I am halfway through, my friend still dances in my arms, keeping my spirits up while I consume it. Looking up, I glance at the eyes. Their gaze seems distracted and dull, the color starting to drain. Veins of dull red are starting to spiderweb in a few of them. I am winning, I will escape.

As I finish with my friend, pieces of hair and a single eyestalk hanging from my mouth. The eyestalk seems to regard me with pride at first but then slowly the life begins to drain from it. The hairy life evaporating from my friend causes the ringing to return; quiet at first but building into a loud roar. One by one, the eyes around me go dark and close, slowly at first but faster as the ringing increases. When the ringing meets its peak, the noise deafening, a bright flash of white erupts from the center of my vision, quickly spreading to my entire view.

With a start, I found myself on the scratchy rug of my floor. There is a copious nosebleed putting blood in an irregular circle around my head. My body feels heavy, but I’m able to pick myself off the floor and make my way to the bathroom. The lukewarm water coming from the facet briefly turns a red brown with every wet wipe to my face. When the bleeding finally stops, I shut off the water and clean my face off with the hand towel.

I see the bags under my eyes in the mirror, my nose dark with clotted blood and water dripping from my shallow chin. I smile briefly, but it looks alien on my face. It almost had me that time, but it didn’t.