Freddy vs Jason

(spoilers for Freddy vs Jason - 2003)

I’m going to say something shocking. Shocking to the cine-literate, shocking to fans of genre cinema, shocking to anyone who was labouring under the delusion that I possess any modicum of sophistication, and especially shocking to any fans of the Nightmare on Elm St or Friday the 13th film series. Ready? Here goes: I like “Freddy vs Jason.” There, I’ve said it. There’s no going back now, I’ll just have to make myself heard over the howls of derision and gales of mocking, pitying laughter.

Versus films get a justifiably bad rap. They’re cash grabs. They’re what happens when a character or series has nowhere left to go. They’re lazy. They appeal to the basest urges of the fanboyiest fanboys. They’re all hype. They never deliver a winner. All of these accusations are true of Freddy vs Jason, along with several other accusations traditionally aimed at slasher movies (dislikable teens, characters making suicidally stupid choices, you know the drill.) All I can say to this laundry list of perfectly justified criticisms is “La la la la la, I’m not listening, I’m not listening,” which I recognise is childish, but hey, if climate change deniers can get away with it, I think I can use it here. No criticism of Freddy vs Jason can change my mind: I like it, it is fun, it was even better than I thought it would be, and I thought it would be good. While I’m shocking people to the very core, let me throw one specifically at any Friday fans: Freddy vs Jason is my favourite Jason movie, and not by a little bit, either.

As far as I’m concerned, the film squares the circle: it forces together two characters who have nothing in common save their real world marketability, finds a reason why they should be in opposition, is full of nastiness and action and most importantly, refuses to take itself seriously. In places, if feels more like a looney tunes cartoon than a horror film, which is fine when you’re dealing with franchises that had racked up 17 films between them by this point. The only reason I can think of to explain why this film is so unpopular amongst genre fans is people being too precious and protective over one or both franchises or characters. Let’s take Jason’s ‘back story’ to show how ridiculous that is. Jason died as a child due to the negligence of some teen supervisors, but then it turned out he didn’t, actually, and he went on an unending killing spree, was presumed dead to the extent he was taken to the morgue where he ‘woke up’, continued his killing spree until his actual death, was resurrected through lightning, pschyokinesis and electrocution via underwater cable. Oh, and in 10 films before this one, he has not uttered one single word. I once read a rabid Jason fan raving about his favourite Jason (it’s usually Ted White or Kane Hodder, if you’re interested. I know you’re not.) achieving said distinction because of a head tilt he did after a kill. Obviously, such a rigourously well drawn and thoroughly fleshed out character is sacrosanct, and worthy of the same scrutiny one might offer Hamlet or Micheal Corleone.

I seem to recall one criticism being of the opening monologue, delivered by the film’s co-protagonist, Freddy Krueger. It acts as a brief summary of the two characters film careers up to this point and sets up the plot of this one. Yes, alright, it’s a bit exposition-y, but again, does a film this trashy really need a more artful framing device? No, it does not. It serves to set up the film while introducing Freddy and Jason to anyone stupid enough to start their Freddy/Jason journey with the 18th film in a series. The film then proceeds in an enjoyable fashion with Nightmare on Elm Street style characters being killed off in Friday 13th style ways. I think this is a good piece of fan service, as the Elm Street kids were always better written than their Friday counterparts (although equally badly played) The excuse for all this mayhem is that Freddy has set Jason loose to cause fear amongst the Elm Street teens. This elevated level of fear will in turn give Freddy (the memory of whom has been suppressed) the power he needs to make a return.

I grant you, this might all sound like so much yadda-yadda-yadda to most people, but for someone who’s suspension of disbelief is usually so low, I completely buy into all this nonsense and just go along with it. Why? Because it’s so fun, I think. It even looks like all the greys and pastels have been removed from the colour palette - it’s absurdly colourful and bright. And none of it means anything. In much needed contrast to the real world, the stakes here are ridiculously low. Even if any viewer were naive enough to expect the film to deliver a winner, ( spoiler alert: it doesn’t, but in such a way that fans of Freddy can say he won, and fans of Jason can say he won) what would that even look like? After all, Freddy and Jason have been killed (for a given value of ‘killed’) by humans umpteen times in their respective series, and usually by not particularly bright humans at that. Was this film going to be the one to break with precedent and have the victor go on to presumably kill everyone on the planet off one by one until he was the only being left on a deserted Earth?

Of course not. Like almost all of the Freddy and Jason films that preceded it, it ends in a way that leaves the way clear for a sequel; and as such, I would argue is entirely in keeping with the 8th/11th film in a franchise. Sadly, there never was a Freddy vs Jason 2, (for a long time the rumour was that Ash from the Evil Dead series would be added to the mix, but this only made it as far as a graphic novel. And yes, before you ask, of course I have it, why on Earth would I not?) which is for me and perhaps me only, is a crying shame, if only because I never got to hear the collective internet dummy spitting that would have accompanied it.