Finnegan Farm

That musky smell would forever transport her to her former years, it was so distinctive that she could taste the odour in the air of all the animals and feel the stones beneath her feet as if she was back there in that moment, 11 years of age. Everything that had transpired in that barn was as fresh in her mind as if it had happened yesterday, let alone 30 years ago. Perhaps if it wasn't for that place, she wouldn't be the woman she is today.

Your childhood will inevitably form the person you become, it unknowingly shapes us and will dictate how we conduct ourselves later on in life. The relationships, places and memories we grew up with, especially the most profound and pivotal ones will determine how we interact with the world once we transition into adulthood.

One place that always summoned Jasmine was Finnegan Farm. Now, in this present moment, all it is to her, is a desolate, bruised and broken barn. It's fascinating how something which now seemed so unenchanted, was once the most enigmatic and mystical place that existed.

Jasmine grew up in the Irish countryside. Whilst the majority of Ireland could indeed be referred to as 'countryside', In this part of the Kilkenny, there wasn't even a cluster of humanity for at least an hour by car. It was a place you had to actively seek other people, which was made difficult as her grandfather who she stayed with was a recluse and she was also homeschooled by him. Making friends and engaging with other children was not a luxury she had. Although it's imperative for the development of a young child, her family didn't seem to think so. They were happy to send Jasmine off as company for her grandfather. Therefore much of her time was spent around inebriated, paranoid adults.

The owners of the barn were an elderly couple who had neglected it for the last decade, they kept the animals and orphaned some to the local sanctuary when they became too old to care for them. They knew Jasmine's grandfather personally and said in passing that if she wanted to care for the animals then she was more than welcome. Something Irish people do often is say things they don't necessarily mean, just to cut the conversation short and be on their way.

Anywho, Jasmine took up the offer, overjoyed she could spend her time anywhere but alone in her room. They would see the young girl day in, day out, even appearing from the barn at sunrise occasionally as she would stay in the pens overnight with the animals.

Jasmine's sanctuary was that barn, her friends were the animals and her pastime was caring for all the creatures, raising them, nurturing them and riding and rearing the ones who would allow it.

Often, Jasmine would explore and monitor the lands that surrounded her as if she were the guardian and protectorate of them. She would gallop around come rain or shine, convinced in her mind that malignant creatures were trying to gain access to her kingdom. The barn was her castle and she was the queen, whose job it was to safeguard it at all costs.

Children often fantasize and fabricate scenarios, their imagination is so active that their imaginings become their reality. Jasmine would grow up to be a successful painter and this would be the access point to her creating alternate realities for her to live in, to escape the banality of her own very lonesome existence.

Adults often pass off the 'invisible friends' as just an overactive imagination and pay very little mind to the people they talk to and create friendships with. Jasmine had a whole hoard of friends she would play with, of course, the animals were her physical friends and everyone could see the fondness they held for her. Yet there was in fact one real friend she had, another child named Emmett who she would play in the barn when he ventured over.

Jasmine befriended Emmett one autumn morning when she found him hiding in the tack room amongst all of the old saddles, she had heard little creaks in there for days yet believed it to be the family of mice she had previously introduced herself to. What she found, was a petrified boy huddled away, with his knees tucked tightly in his chest by his embrace.

Emmett was a small, fair-headed, rather underdeveloped child for a 9-year-old, with the height and build of a much smaller boy. He had deep-set, aquamarine eyes, which were constantly frozen into a worrisome expression. A sweet yet shy little thing who was clearly in search of a friend. Something I doubt he had ever had. Luckily, Jasmine was also on a similar quest.

Upon their first meeting, Emmett informed Jasmine he had run away from home and was deeply unhappy living with his parents. For a young child, he expressed himself with conviction and had a very extensive vocabulary. In comparison to Emmett's frame, his mind was far superior to that of any child his age, as if all his development had happened in the realm of the mind as opposed to the body. He adored reading and that was his escape, he wasn't much of an explorer, not like our Jasmine.

The children found themselves to be kindred spirits who were both escaping the boredom they felt. Here, in this dusty old barn, they found each other so it must have been fate.

They spent most of their days together in the barn, inventing games to play, reading, laughing and just being children, she always looked back on those days with tenderness. Emmett was a little scared of the animals and they didn't seem to take much notice of him or warm to him the same way they did with Jasmine. However, she was very gifted when it came to communicating with them, so it wasn't something she paid any mind to.

As it was the middle of autumn when they met, they spent the majority of the autumn and winter buried away in the barn, there, no one would disturb them or even bother to check on them. That time of year in Ireland is beyond bitterly cold and there is a continuum of precipitation. It isn't a place where you want to be outside for longer than a few moments, especially the elderly.

The seasons did the dance they do every year and the flowers began to bloom, the grass blades were viridescent and growing ferociously. The shrubbery was so rich in the gardens and the animals began to graze upon it all. It was around this time Emmett's visits became very sparse. Only coming on occasion he said it was increasingly difficult to come to the barn as the days were long and his parents were more active, he couldn't easily escape.

Occasionally Emmett would come outside with Jasmine however it was something he noticeably did not enjoy, the elderly couple had seen them from the window playing yet didn't mention anything. Something about that was odd to Jasmine as they were both busybodies and very nosy. However, it was just two children playing in a field, nothing to be startled by.

A few weeks later and still no sign of Emmett since their last adventure. Jasmine was concerned and on her way home so stopped by the elderly couples house to ask if they had seen the boy. When she asked them, the elderly woman broke down in tears and began shouting at her in Gaelic, the man comforted his wife and ushered her into the other room. Jasmine was confused and stood at the porch wondering what the commotion was.

The elderly man led her by her hand and walked down the pebbled path alongside her, the road which led back to her grandfather's house. On the way, he explained that Emmett was their son and he passed away 23 years prior when one of the large storage units (which kept all the bags of feed in the tack room) fell on him when one of the mares escaped and kicked it over trying to get to her food. Emmett was trapped under the unit and suffered a blow to his skull, which in turn caused internal bleeding. He died shortly after. That is why the farm was named Finnegan Farm, in remembrance of their fair-headed boy. Jasmine's first friend.