Fear

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this."

"Oh come on, it's just a carnival ride. What's the worst that can happen?" I watch her big smile practically take over her face. I raise one eyebrow at her, it took me years to perfect it but now it came naturally.

"Do you Really want me to answer that question or would you prefer I leave it to your imagination?" She laughs as she grabs my arm and drags me towards "The Ride". The closer we get the more she really is dragging me. Finally we stop and she looks at me with her hands on her hips.

"Seriously Chris? Are you really going to make me drag you kicking and screaming there Again? They looked at me like I was the meanest person in the world the last time." I grin at the memory, it was only a year before and it did get me out of having to ride it that year. The guy in charge of the ride refused to force me to ride, unlike the year before that when the guy in charge was one of Beth's friends. I look over at "The Ride" dang, it's Jason this year, I'm sunk kicking and screaming isn't going to cut it.

"Why do we have to ride this thing every year? You know how I feel about it. You know it freaks me out each and every single time." She gives me a weird look, the same one she gives me each and every year when we have this talk. Each year I think that she's going to finally give me an answer but each year she doesn't.

"Look Chris, we missed last year right?"

"Yup" I felt so proud of myself over that, I got out of doing what I didn't want to do.

"And what kind of year did we have, not just you and me but the whole town?" She just looked at me, like she was willing me to understand something.

"It sucked, I've never seen a year that bad before in my whole life. It was almost like we were curse or something." She just stood there and nodded.

"Yup, we broke our tradition and look what happened, do you really want to chance another year like that? Come on!" She grabbed my arm again and started me on the path towards "The Ride" again. She did it so quickly we had gone a few feet closer before I realized we were moving again. Jason noticed us coming and waved to us Beth waved back and I froze in place making Beth stumble back.

"Yeah no, good try. I can't I hate that thing can't we go on another ride? The Carousel is nice, I like the Elephant." I smile and nod at her while pointing at the brightly lit Carousel a few rows down from where we were. She sighed deeply and crossed her arms in front of her chest and lowered her head to look at me through her lashes.

"Now you listen to me Chris. We have ridden this ride every year, except one for as long as I can remember and we're going to ride it again tonight. Even if I have to get the football team over here to carry you there. So are you going to walk there are will you be carried?" She glared at me. Glared. At. Me. It was rather disconcerting. Beth was never annoyed with me. I sighed and lowered my head admitting defeat. I just couldn't understand why I had to ride that dang blasted thing every year, but fine. I followed behind Beth but the closer I got to it the more I just couldn't go through with it. At the last moment I tried to bolt. They were ready for me though, Jason, Keith, Kent, and Cody all grabbed me and pushed me into the only car that actually was completely enclosed. All the others were more like seats with bars across them this one was like an elevator car. Its the same one I rode every year. I guess they gave it to me because of my fear and I guess I should be grateful but I still tried to get out. It was too late though, they had already locked it and it was on it's way up. I was trapped.

"Come on Chris, come sit down. You know you can't get out" I knew it but I still paced around I needed to get out, I was too far up. How could they do this to me again. Every year, why did they do this to me, they're supposed to be my friends. Why do they put me through this every year... why... do.... they.........

"I give you a lot of trouble every year don't I" I sit next to Beth and grin at her. She shrugs as the Ferris wheel is stopped at the very top.

"What happened last year?"

"The owners son decided he wanted to work the wheel and wouldn't let us put you on."

"ouch, did I cause a lot of trouble?"

"The town is hurting bad"

"I'm sorry" I sigh," I hate that it has to be like this, that I have only this short period of knowing who and what I really am every year. I don't know why I fear it so much. "

"I think it's that the Chris that's at the Carnival at the end of the year doesn't want to leave. When we go back down she's not the same, she never is, every year she's different in some way so she hates this wheel because it changes her every year. Except last year." I nod, it makes sense.

I look out over the town and a gentle breeze slowly makes it's way from the Wheel over the town, over the next few days many of the wrongs will be righted. I will make sure that this year will make up for the last. I sigh.

"My time is up isn't it?"

"I'm sorry"

"My own fault, I have to pay for what I did, and now I have more to redeem myself for. Thank you Beth for being my friend" I hug her close.

"Always" She hugs me just as close, tears flow down both our faces.

Beth is holding me as I cry out my fear, I'm shivering with it, I hate being in this dang blasted box. Every year though I have to come to the Carnival and ride the Ferris Wheel. No one believes me, but every year something in me, about me, changes. I had blue eyes one year, the next I had grey. They told I that it was just a natural change due to my growing older. My hair went from blond to red, again they said I was always a strawberry blond it just got darker. Last year there were no changes, I'm waiting to see what changes there are this year. I know something weird happens on that Wheel but no one will talk to me about it. I wonder sometimes if maybe I am losing my mind.