Family Picture

I don't know if it's a thing I do but every-time I drive by the coast or the the ocean it almost seems as if the water is breathing. I watch the waves come in and go back out so effortlessly and so peaceful.

The sun is shining but you can tell that it's being deceptive. The situation for me is bleak, I would count this as the most dramatic moment of my life, as I am junior moving on Thanksgiving Break.

My dad took a job offer in August and within two months everything we had known was packed, as we said our goodbyes it seemed like a distant memory that happen twenty years ago when in fact it happened only a couple hours back. I promised to text and face time my friends, after all we went to pre-school, grade school and were navigating the cruel world of high-school together- now I am a lone survivor alone.

I try to control my breathing, lately I have been having major panic attacks, where I force myself to think of what life will be like in ten hours , another day to comfort myself and understand this will pass. I must have fallen asleep, because I could feel the car slowing down and transitioning from the highway, right and left as I felt myself sway.

I am not a fan of change, but the town itself has a very old colonial vibe, on the East Coast. It's winterish weather as I call it, so not too cold but not warm enough to be outside, so the tourist season has past and the dread of winter is coming.

"Okay hunni," my mom says so cheerfully as she closes her travel puzzle book. "I know that this is not the most ideal situation, but I would really like for you to try and embrace the changes." she says , as she looks at me with her big brown eyes, basically pleading with ought having to say please don't have an attitude. "I'll try." I say as I whisper "or not", to myself low enough that only I can hear it. My brother Greyson laughs beside me, "Nice try G", as he fondly calls me short for my name Gianna.

My brother Greyson looks at me with his brown eyes, most people mistake us for twins, and we are Irish twins, so we have such a special bond that he knows exactly how I feel. I know Greyson is dreading high-school, he was an all star a athlete at our high-school until he threw his knee out, my parents are so clueless to the fact of his addiction to opioids, but I would rather hold secret then lose my brother. I can tell he is high right now, as he aimlessly stares at his phone.

Being an Irish twin you just know, but being Italian and a twin, you will always have each other, we have always been super close my family and that will never change.

My mom continued to rattle off about first impressions and how important they are, and we both tune her out. I continue to look out the window, fogging up from all the heavy breathing and talking, and see a pier or docks with some kids hanging out. I sigh, I would love to be under that dock right now having a smoke and a drink, I think to myself.

My dad finally turns the car into the driveway and we all stop talking. We are pulling up to a massive colonial style, white pillar house a sweeping front porch and a yard that seems to forever sprawl. It is beautiful, even I am blown away. "Wow Dad, I see why you took this job!" my brother yells out. My dad I can tell he is proud of himself and says "Only the best for my family, you know we had ," he starts to say and we all chime in "Nothing!", we answer for him. My dad has told us the story of how my grandpa and grandma came over to this country with nothing, and how important it is to work and be a hard worker, and honest.

We all get out of the car and look at the house as if our new lives are starting. We unlock the door and begin unpacking.

3 Months Later

"Hey G!" my friends yell down the hall. Alexandria and Janice come bounding towards me and I head straight for them. A trio, always hanging out always at each other's houses, we instantly clicked when my mom brought me up to the school to sign up for second semester. They were trying to recruit for their baking club, and it just seemed right. FYI we have not baked anything or anything worthy of taste. We spend our time together, bickering like sisters, tick tocking snapping and al the usual suspect things teenagers would do.

"Do you want to get a smoothie today and rent a movie , or no?" my friend Janice asks me. Alex is working on putting her hair in a bun "Ya man, come one or we can go to the docks and have some wine?" she suggests and tucks the bun in with a cute little barrette. "Honestly guys, I am so far behind, since we went to that party at Jay's on Saturday I literally did zero homework on Sunday, I basically laid around watching Netflix and trying not to throw up." I don't even need to say anything because my facial expression says it all as I quickly shudder at the thought of all the beer and shots I drank.

"Well, no-one told you it was your last night on earth", Alex says "Besides you had fun making out , lol or barely ". She squeals, and laughs even harder. "Anyways if you don't want to hang tonight cool, we have this weekend and I am thinking of Chinese, charcoal masks and chill", she says.

"Yes!" Janice and I both say together. "Hey G, do you think your brother will be home this weekend?" Janice asks shyly. I glance at her, and try to understand why anyone as beautiful as Janice would want to continuously try with my brother. I am not surprised, this usually happens with my friends and the usual occurrence happens either my brother just sleeps with them and moves on or they try to have a relationship break up and they are no longer welcome over, or they just remain friends.

"Girl , I already told you, if you want to talk to Greyson, you don't have to ask me, I have had too many instances in the past that I have tried to stop, and it didn't work out". I say as I start to walk towards the front " Look I am out of here, and I am tired, so do what you want", I can tell that Janice thinks I am irritated. "J, I love you. Don't worry it's all good." I hug her, not knowing that is the last time I will see her.

I throw all my bags on the stairs "Mom, it smells so good in here!" I exclaim, pot roast and potato dinner with gravy is my absolute favorite and I know that my mom uses and always has used chicken gravy , and that is the best. "Hunni, I am in here, I just got done talking to your sister Gabriella, can you believe it that she was voted to be entered, into spring queen, by her sorority!" my mom can hardly contain her excitement. "So much to do with a dresses and parents weekend, and hunni you should come with us, visit the college, see if it fits you!" my mom again looks at me with her big brown eyes.

"Mom, " I grab a chocolate chip cookie "You know that I am so proud of Gabby, I really am but she just has that big university big city girl feel for life, I prefer a smaller University, that's all." I take a bite of the cookie, it brings me back to when all three of us would run home from school, because my mom would make these cookies every day for us after school.

"Stop talking with you mouth full Gianna, and don't forget dinner is at 7:30, you don't always have to be against everything that I say." My mom grabs some folders she was working on and starts to head for the study.

I start the climb to my room on the winding stairs, the good thing about Gabby being at school is we got to pick our rooms this time, no fighting between Greyson and I. I opted for the room down the hall from my parents, and facing the water and I was in love with it and still am. Maybe this is why I don't want to think about college, I thought to myself, maybe I just love the comforts of home. I should start on my homework, but my bed looks so comfortable, and that blanket looks like I should be curled up. I changed into my favorite sweatpants, and sweatshirt, toss my hair up and decide to lay down for only five minutes.

When I wake up I glance at my clock at it's about 7:00 at night. I can't believe that I have been asleep for that long, but I am not surprised I really abused my body this weekend at Jay's party drinking, throwing up staying out late, so of course I needed more than one day recovery.

I glance at my phone and notice I have missed calls from both Greyson and Alex. I call Greyson back, and he screams into the phone heavy panting "Gia what the f, where have you been?" I reply "I was taking a nap are you okay?" I have received calls like this before, my brother high on oxy or Vicodin not touching real life but simply floating away. "Why didn't you call mom if it was such an emergency?" I asked, panic is starting to creep in as well, "dinner is at 7:30 you know mom is going to be pist if you aren't home!" I tell him hoping this is just one of those times that he will come back and we can eat dinner. My mom is a real stickler about dinner, it's family time.

"Shut up Gia", he screams into the phone "Grab your car and come and pick up Alex and I at the docks, something terrible has happened, it wasn't suppose to be this way!" I tremble as I grab my car keys from my desk "Greyson , what do you mean, something terrible, is Alex okay, is Janice okay?" I whisper in case my mom and dad happen to be in the hallway. Greyson says into the phone in an almost eerily voice "Janice is dead."

Greyson hung up on me, but left me in a terrible state of panic, the kind where you feel your ears pulsing or bees swarming you, your skin gets wet dripping with sweat, and my palms start itching. I can't take my anxiety medication, it makes me drowsy and I have to drive and get to my brother, not like this, breath G breath. I slowly inhale and exhale and head downstairs.

The great thing my brother and I thought about this house is that you can visually see everything from the stairs. It's like if you wanted to sneak out you have full access to witness everything going on. In this moment, I could see our housekeeper Anna setting the table for dinner and the smell of the freshly made biscuits and roast was tantalizing my stomach growled, I felt slightly embarrassed to realize how hungry I was in a time like this a murder, a homicide, I watched so many shows I had no idea how to classify this, but Janice was dead.

My parents were sitting in the study enjoying a nice glass of red wine for my mom and a nice whiskey for my dad, laughing and conversating. It was a normal Wednesday or at least I thought it was when I woke up now. How would they feel knowing I was going to pick up my brother, a light in their eyes up after someone my friend Janice has been dead. Was my brother a murderer , did he do it, why was Alex there? So many questions were in my head that it felt like it was going to explode, I had to get to the docks now.

"Mom , dad, Greyson called, he needs a ride home." I say as I am about to open the door. "Excuse me Gianna come in here, greet your father, I just worked all day for you to run out of here, we don't live in a hotel." My dad says in his boastful voice that you can hear twenty miles away.

I go into the study and greet my dad, joking as much as a I can so they can't see that I am going to have a mental breakdown, my phone rings again, I have to get out of here, and I have to go.

"I will be back with my darling brother soon" I hug and kiss both of them and run out the door . "7:30!" my mom yells, and that's the last thing I hear as a I slam the door.

It felt like an forever until I finally pulled into the lot that leads us to the docks. My lights flooded over Alexandria and Greyson sitting on the ground, covered in what appeared to be blood and soaked with water.

"WTF !" I yell I jump out of the car and race towards them, my car engine is still on. Greyson gets up and calmly walks back to the car to turn it off, and comes near me. I immediately become frightened of him and Alexandria my senses start to jump all over. They have done something, something really bad.

"Calm down G," Alex says as she lights up a smoke and offers it to me. "We need to stay composed, until the police come and we all need to be on the same page." She says as she lights up a cig herself. "All on the same page, what the hell did I do, nothing, I simply came to pick up my brother." I look her in the face. "Whatever you did is on you Alex, but Greyson is my brother and we are leaving." I tell my brother "Greyson get your stuff, let's go." We start to head to the car. Alex follows us, "If you get in that car, I will say that you both murdered Janice, and fled the scene. You are a smart girl G, you know what that looks like from all the shows, well surprise now you are living one, it's not pretend anymore." She says as almost a wicked grin.

Who was this girl, and where was Janice. I bravely look at my brother "Where is Janice Greyson, what happen." My brother with tears running down his eyes, says "She is dead." he looks away ashamed , "How Greyson?" I know now that I am by law an accomplice, as I am now going to get the story, but he is my brother. Greyson looks at me and at Alex and towards the water and whispers, "It wasn't suppose to be like this."

Alex steps up to him and says "Like what Greyson, why don't you just admit to your sister right now that you were not only sleeping with me but you were sleeping with Janice!" She screams an animal cry, and begins to pounce on my brother with both fists "You sick freak, we were all friends look what you made me do." I hear it again in my head what you made me do, "What did you do Alex?".

My brother looks at me, "We were all three of us meeting today at the docks, a causal meet up, just like you were asked to come, that's what we were doing, but Alex wanted more, she wanted me to tell Janice to stop asking about me to you, that we were together." He looks at me almost appearing to be a small boy, like he is big trouble.

"When we got here, I just couldn't tell Janice that Alex and I have been sleeping together, because I have been seeing Janice now for the last four or five months and we were starting to build something different, a different feeling then I have ever had," he says softly "Alex went crazy Gianna , like a caged animal."

Alex stops him, "Enough with the love dove , Greyson and I were sleeping together , and Janice began to cry, she said she was going to call you tell you everything what a horrible friend I have been to her, what I was doing behind your back, and she was going to tell you about Greyson and her. Can you believe it G who was being a bad friend me, I didn't even know they were seeing each other, or maybe I did who cares, we weren't in love Greyson and I." she screams "She wouldn't stop crying, she started to run towards her car, and I lost it, I hit her with a log, driftwood in the back of the head." She starts crying mascara dripping down her face "It was an accident I swear!" she screams and cries.

The three of them had stood on the beach together, and for a second in time, they could have let Janice go, but I knew in my heart that Greyson had cared for Janice, and Alex couldn't handle it.

I was shocked, I screamed I cried I ran towards the beach "Janice, omg Janice!" I need to find her, what if she was alive.

The tide was very strong, and cold, it was up to my ankles drenching me as I screamed out her name. The waves were crashing, and I thought that maybe Janice's body would also clash into me, and this would all be dream. I kept running further into the water, walking hoping to find something a clue, but I just saw endless water all around me.

My brother ran behind me tackling me into the waves, dragging my body out of the water , yelling at me to calm down, while I kept screaming out her name. How could they do this, to just throw her body to the sea like garbage. I just knew she was in there, even as my brother points when I ask where he body is, I just know it's lost. He tells me "Alex was going to blame it on me she said I would go to jail, she would deny everything. I had to help her, I had to get rid of Janice." he muffles the last part. My brother smells like the sea and a stranger all at once.

"She's gone Gia, she is gone!" he cries. He grabs me close,

I throw up. I vomit, anything I have eaten is on the beach and will be like Janice lost at the tide, I throw up again.

I calmly get up and head back to my car , I grab my phone and I dial 9-11 "Hello this is 9-11 how may I help you." I calmly say into the phone "This is Gianna Bartello, I am at the Docks on the southside of Point Place, I would like to report a suicide." The operator repeats my information, and says "Stay right there ambulance and police are on the way." I call my parents to let them know what happen, they also rush to the scene. I know the police will call Janice's parents. I know they will die tonight as well, that everyone's world is shattered.

I glance at both my brother and Alex, I can hear the sirens already almost to us, I know that tonight has changed us, and the water is continuing to breath in and out, and I know as I lock eyes with Alex, that she will have to die too.