Fae Fantasy

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I grew up in a split home filled to overflowing with neglect, pain, and depression. Both houses had their downfalls, yet my mom's was truly cursed, try as I might I could never preserve the dwindling happiness that fell away at her door. My father's house tried to support me, tried to fill me with wonder and enjoyment, but frankly it was never enough, nothing would ever be enough. I was filled with an emptiness that could not be bribed out of me.

Her husband was a few bits and bobs short of a full human, he replaced the missing parts with cruelty, something I have tried to understand. Through this seemingly eternal paternal battles, I looked for myself amidst my many chores. The house's chores were entirely mine, for some unknown reason I have yet to piece together. My mother spent her time absent mindedly flitting through space, unaware of the happenings around her.

She was damaged far before her husband got his burning grasp on her, cracking her soul irreparably. She had been worn down like a river bed filled with coursing water for too long, worn so deep into the floor she no longer resembled what she should have been. I always knew her to be this way, be so beyond help, I would eventually give up, exasperated and clawing at the walls of my cell as tears polluted my sight.

I spent so many hours wishing for a better, more fulfilling and loving home, I actually managed to create one, seemingly from thin air. One day I fell asleep draped over the arm of the couch like worn laundry cast aside, only to wake to a flittering thing of light and sound. It moved like smoke, but glowed so beautifully it brought tears to my eyes, and a gasp up my throat. I assumed myself to have lost it, finally joining my mother in the abyss, yet I didn't mind, if it meant I could join such a gorgeous being.

I shakily extended my hand before me, reaching for the pulsing creature of purity and kindness. As my hand grew closer, I could feel things, hear things that were not explainable by any science. I could feel it as though them were my own emotions and intentions and thoughts. I let out an airy giggle, filled with amazement before my fingers reached the strange being.

I was in my mom's living room during nap time one second and the next, I was in pitch black, the feeling of wind on my face, and I didn't even notice I was falling until I came out of a cloud. I could see a clearing far beneath me, covered in plants and rimmed with trees. As I fell a sense of calm washed over me as though the wind were plumes of valium enriched smoke. The floor came up to meet me as I thanked my luck that I would finally be free of my mother's grasp even if it's through my ending.

Just as soon as I accepted my death, I heard bird song and harp music so sweet it stole my heart. A flew from my face and alerted those below to my coming. I saw a large crowd of winged beasts flying for me, dark and scaled, with whited out eyes, and nails several inches long. I allowed a scream to erupt from me like a science fair volcano before they enveloped me.

They carried me to safety kicking and screaming, but were careful to place me on a bed of daphodills, laying my head gently amongst the flowers. I blinked a few times, gaining my bearings before I sat stiffly up. "What do you want from me?" I whimpered sounding like the child I was as opposed to the adult I pretended to be at home. An airy, deep laugh leapt from the chest of each of these beings in unison, causing me to cower a little into the the tree behind me.

"We were made by you, little one, we were made as a....fail safe for you." They echoed once again all in unison, all approximately 50 of them. I swallowed a lump in my throat before trying again.

"How could I possibly do that?" I tried to summon my most courageous voice falling only a little short.

"We were born through your desires, we were born through your suffering, we were born through your hope. Only one with enough pain and enough hope may create something such as us, and you had a lot of pain." They said the last word with a too wide smile slapped onto their faces "We are fae folk, and you created us in your image."

I began to look for an exit but to my dismay I realize they would be too fast, and far too familiar with the surroundings. "Oookaaay. Well, why did I make you then?" I decided to humor them.

"Because you needed an escape, little one, and you are not strong enough to do it. You watch your empty mother waste away and refuse to become her, so we were created, to give you an escape." their ever synced speech burrowed into my soul, cracking apart my disbelief.

"What...kind of escape?" I almost feared the answer, yet could not stop myself from hoping they could whisk me away to a fairytale land away from the one I inhabited.

"We will have to see," they smiled wider, a slough of popping sounds letting loose as they did, then a black fowl smelling sludge poured from their broken smiles. It smelled like that time my cat died and my mom couldn't let her go for weeks. I covered my nose with my sleeve, but it didn't help, and fear overtook me, so I ran.

I ran as fast I my small legs would take me, yet I seemed to be on some form of tread mill, I looked back to see them all sucking through their teeth, still smiling, and I realized it kept me in place. I was trapped.

"I want to go home" I whined as they laughed their creepy laugh.

"This will become your new home, you will learn to love it, little one" they scooped me up, flying over the top of the forest. As we sped through the air, I saw a well lit town coming over the horizon, floating in the sky on the backs of great winged beasts with glassed over eyes. I felt a sorrow for them as we crested the city and they brought me down in the middle of the town.

The buildings were well lit, almost to the point of glowing, and were organically grown, some were hollowed out mushrooms the size of high rises, some were made from giant flowers, and others were a variety of vines thatched together with small flowers. I was mesmerized by the buildings as much as I was the peoples, they came in many shapes and sizes, some had the heads of cats, or birds, or donkeys, while others had legs bent back like the hind legs of a horse, one even had duck feet.

The one creature who truly caught my eye, however, was luminescent blues and greens, with a warm smile and translucent wings that reflected the sunshine like fire opals. They had hair slicked back and held away from their face with a halo of small flowers, both waterfalling down her back to the backs of her knees. Her hair shone like moon stone and it was breathtaking. I found myself walking toward them arm outstretched as I approached, wanting to confirm they were real.

"Oh, hello there, little one, how can I help you?" came a giggling and full bodied voice as they gracefully covered their mouth with long, spindly fingers, their fingernails shining like the sun.

"I...are you real?" my voice sounded leagues away.

"Oh, my name is Panellus, but you can call me Pan," they said winking at me, glitter, or is it stars flitting off their eyelashes as they do. My mouth fell open in amazement, and they let loose a gleeful smile.

"I- I...you're amazing," I could no longer feel my feet and I could swear I was floating as I watched them move, so graceful you would think they created physics itself.

"Well, I see you brought your little playthings, strange beings they are...you must have a lot of troubles in the other world to make something so...off at your age." Pan seemed to been choosing their words carefully, as if scared of breaking me with the wrong word, but I was unflinching, so used to my scarred past being casually brought up by therapists and CPS alike. CPS who never helped.

Pan helped me down the cobbled steps covered in moss back to street lever, their silken shawl flowing behind us. "Now lets see exactly how your little creations are." Pan said winking that magic wink again. We approached the beings made from the hatred in my heart, still smiling that broken smile and I couldn't help but hide behind Pan, clinging to the large petals that made their skirt.

"Well now, this simply won't do, you're scaring the one who needs you most, don't you know?" They giggled slightly before snapping their fingers, ecstasy coursed through me, each hair in my skin standing on end. My eyes rolled into the back of my head before I regained my agency to see the being transformed each into a Griffin. I beamed at Pan, unsure how they fixed my nightmare, but thankful beyond belief.

"Thank you! How did you di this?"

"Well, I changed something in you, I made your soul that small bit less wounded. You could say I healed you, just a little," another magic filled wink.

TO BE CONTINUED...