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Everything You Need To Know About The Eldritch Horror Lurking In Your Closet. Now. Right Now.

From the finest seers, oracles, sooth-sayers, and totally tuned-in ghost-vibes.

By RoAnna SylverPublished 6 years ago 2 min read
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Credit to Alexander Juhasz, The Babadook concept art

You asked your burning questions in the faintest of night-whispers, and we've summoned the answers from the depths of the beyond. Here's all the #creepy fun factoids on your favorite #horror, straight to your brain-box from the finest seers, oracles, sooth-sayers, and totally tuned-in ghost-vibes.

1) It Is More Afraid Of You Than You Are Of It

Smiling, But A Kind Of Nervous, Awkward Smile

Probably. Probably is.

2) Its Name Is Reginald Bernstein Berenstain Berenstyne IV.

This Is The Truth In THIS Dimension, At Least

It is not a Babadook, in the strictest terms, but it is a friendly cousin. It does not speak of the Berenstyne universe. This is not for mortals to know.

4) It Comes From Another Dimension.

Reginald Would Love To Do The Time Warp Again

With voyeuristic intentions. Well secluded, it sees all.

5) It Loves You.

Give Your Friend A Hug!

Regardless of your appearance, age, gender identity, social standing, religion, scaled appendages, third-eye membranes, or lack thereof.

5) It Believes You Are A Good Human.

When You Get To The Door, Tell Them Boris Sent You

And that you deserve a good life free of scorn or censure. It will perform unspeakable acts of mayhem to ensure you remain blessed and prosperous. Reginald believes in you, whether or not you believe in it.

6) Reginald Is Gay, And Has Reached A Healthy Level Of Self-Security.

Quite Secure In Our Darkness, And Ourselves

It’s here. It’s an unknowable being from the dark-aether. Get used to it.

7) It Will Devour Your Enemies Utterly.

Tragically Beautiful

Usually by unhinging its jaw in a really weird way. Seriously, Reg, that’s messed up.

8) It Will Be Your Best Friend.

It's Okay, Reginald Isn't A Stickler For Details Here

As long as you bring it offerings of witch-harvested honey collected in silver thimbles, and iambic-pentameter verses read aloud before a hellish inferno on #Halloween night (or that Yule Log channel thing if you don’t have a hellish inferno).

9) It Enjoys Smooth Freeform Jazz.

But the chill-out lo-fi hip-hop kind, heavy on the bass, not the pretentious kind your dad likes.

10) It Is No longer In Your Closet.

Because You'll Be Having So Much Fun!

But you are never alone.

Is this a comfort or a warning? You decide. (In the comments, if you're so-inclined.)

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About the Creator

RoAnna Sylver

Writes weird books about marginalized people surviving/rocking out (CHAMELEON MOON, STAKE SAUCE), amazing puns, and geeky articles. Lives with chronic pain/genetic weirdness. An actual mutant. Open Your Eyes, Look Up To The Skies And See!

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