Elysium

Between two walls of crumbling brick, marked with rusted metallic grates and stairs and rails and cans, we waited amongst the rats and spiders, all out looking for the same thing: dinner. The single fluorescent bulb above us crackled and dimmed, before settling into a harsh hum.

The dolls thrummed with excitement, amplified by the shivers of their idealized forms, and the clattering of their straight, crystal teeth. Each of them the same in their beauty and their wallets, but their differences become clear when they take you on as their project.

Emmeline pulled me in and tucked a delicate hand into the crook of my elbow. She crouched down to bury her strawberry head into my neck, teeth clattering all the while. “How.. soon… will… they get here?”

As if conjured, the grating behind us rattled and slid open. A hunched man scanned us one by one, his eyes lingering on me. The slightest sneer touched his lips as he stepped aside and ushered us in. The dolls rushed in, pulling me along behind them. We huffed and shook ourselves out in the warmth of the corridor. Other than the heat, the hallway offered little improvement to the alleyway, and, in fact, carried the disadvantage of an invasive, putrid smell, and less light to guide our way.

Krista, Noreen, and I waited for the man to lead the way, but he settled in beside the hidden door, making it clear we were on our own from that point. We shared an uncertain glance before Emmeline rolled her eyes and took the lead down the narrow hallway. The door at the end opened into a new world.

Ethereal music met us first, a haunting tune with no audible end or beginning to the notes, just an imperceptible shift I wouldn’t have been able to determine if my life had depended on it. The hostess met us next, peeling away from a backlit podium with the widest smile I had ever seen. A gleaming nametag labeled her Angela.

“Good evening Mrs. Dalton, your table is waiting for you. And this,” she turned her icy fox eyes on me, “must be the woman of the hour. Congratulations on your promotion.”

“We’re all so proud of her, she’s our boss now.” Emmeline squealed. The term was technically correct. But among the dolls, ‘boss’ would only ever be a label. I was a child, play-acting as someone important, someone with power, while they held enough of it in one hand to end my entire career with a word. Emmeline, more than the others. Their ‘jobs’ were nothing more than busy work to them. They could quit tomorrow, and their rich daddies, or their prominent husbands would make sure their lives didn’t change at all. I, on the other hand, would always be beholden to the mercy and fondness of the rich, the beautiful, and the privileged.

I plastered a smile on my face and followed the hostess past her station and through a beautiful nightmare. At each glimmering table we passed, beautiful faces stared in reverent awe into nothing, some swayed, or held out fine, adorned fingers to caress empty air. The response their beauty elicited reminded me I didn’t belong; pebbles didn’t fit in with gems.

Golden masked figures slid between tables, delivering trays of food or drink. Silvery moons floated above the tables, dousing the room in a pale, shimmery glow. Robed figures slid between tables, each hidden behind a golden etched mask, delivering food and drink. Trails of water trickled down the mile-high ovoid glass roof, ending in a pool that circled the room and branched out in swirling lines towards a sleek fountain in the middle.

While I scanned the room in awe, Emmeline watched me with a smile on her face. She pointed up to a table that rose above the room. “I reserved the best seats in the house. Hope you’re not afraid of heights.”

“Emmeline,” I gasped. “How much-”

“You know the rules. Don’t even ask.”

The staircase wound around the fountain, and a gentle mist sprayed us as we made our way up to encased seating. Dishes had already been arranged at the intimate table. A masked waiter stood shock-still at the edge of the table. He didn’t even fidget as we sat. His unnatural stillness unnerved me to the point I began to question if he might actually be a statue. He animated as we sat, startling me. The dolls giggled. He approached each of us and poured a drink into our waiting glass.

“Welcome to Elysium the world’s only true immersive dining experience. We pride ourselves on guest satisfaction, if at any point you find your experience lacking, let your dining attendant, Michael, know and he will do his best to meet your expectations. To the newcomers, beware. You may find this experience intense. It may open your eyes to a vivid, new world and you may never find satisfaction like it in the real world. Colors, and emotions won’t seem as bright, joy and peace and sorrow will all seem… muted. But keep in mind, it is only an illusion, do not let it consume you.” She turned her last words on me, letting them taper off into a heavy silence as she bore into me with a pointed gaze.

With a smile, she turned stiffly, and disappeared down the long, winding staircase. Krista and Noreen let out laughs. “What was all that about?” Krista scoffed, tossing her black curls back.

“You’ll see.” Emmaline said, with a shifty uptilt to her lips. She gestured toward my plate. “Come on, boss, start us off.”

Six lovely eyes fell on me, daring me, rushing me. I leaned forward and examined the art upon my plate. Three slim cuts of meat sat between sheaths of a paper-like substance, over a bed of fluffy cream. “When does the immersion part begin?”

Emmeline waved her hand to hurry me along.

I sighed but took a bite. Before I even swallowed, all sense fell away. The music faded, Emmeline, Krista, Noreen, the table overlooking the privileged angels, all vanished, replaced by vibrant swirls. They danced around me playfully, beckoning me up among them. I held out a tentative hand and they lifted me up, up, up, high above the city lights into the evening stars. They flew me past mars’ angry surface, showed me Jupiter’s mighty mass, and swung me around Saturn’s rings. They charged through icy winds and empty void and set me down upon a distant star that shone so bright with golden light it enveloped me, and as one we danced and shone our invigorating light. She sang to me and held me tight, a song I could sing in my sleep, in a voice that touched down to my very core. “Momma?” I cried into her gleam. She shushed away my tears and held me with all the warmth and tenderness of the morning sun as ribbons of thousands of colors whipped around us.

I felt a tug. I clung tighter. Not yet. The pull on my body grew so strong, it tore at my skin, and still I clung tighter. My grip on the star faded away, the lights grew fainter, until only prickles of light remained and even those winked out.

The soft light of Elysium suddenly burned at my retinas. I blinked against it and retracted my outstretched hand. Around me, only Emmeline had regained clarity. She watched me with a knowing look as I wiped a tear from my cheek. “Intense, huh?”

The plates had been cleared, leaving only the glasses in front of us. I guzzled it down, noting the uniquely sweet tang, and the hint of a familiar aftertaste I couldn’t place.

“It doesn’t work like that.” Emmeline said, with a sad smile. “Each ticket is only good for” she held up a single red gel fingernail. “One ride.”

Krista snapped awake with a giggle, that subsided into a pleased sigh. Noreen followed, blinking away her vision with a disgruntled humph. Silence fell over the table, as each of us considered our experience. Noreen broke the silence, jumping up from the table, phone in hand.

“Is that the time?” She squealed. “What happened? Travis is gonna be furious. Come on, get up.” I glanced at my watch and gasped. Over three hours. I leapt to my feet and gathered my belongings. Noreen raced down the steps, we hurried to catch up. Michael stood in the corner, in the same place, in the same stance as he had resumed when I had taken my first bite. As we rushed past him, he didn’t even turn.

*********************************************************************

“Is it drugs?”

Emmaline shrugged as I emptied the contents of a box onto my new desk. The office overlooked the endless chaos of metropolitan life. They had given me the biggest one, on the second highest floor. The top floor belonged to Bradley Dalton, Emmeline’s husband, and his executives. “Probably. But not the addictive kind, and not the kind that shows up on a test.”

“They don’t let people know what they’re consuming?”

“They don’t really need to. They give a whole spiel when you make your reservation, and you have to sign an acknowledgement form before you even get the location.” she replied, skimming through the contents of my box. “Why are you even worried about it, people take drugs recreationally all the time.”

“It was just…” Amazing? Exciting? The most beautifully disconcerting experience of my life, and I won’t be happy until I can experience it again?

“Pretty cool, right?”

“Better than I expected.” I itched a spot at the base of my neck that had broken out in hives the last two days.

“Ahh, and you want to go back?”

“No. Not- Maybe? Yes.”

Emmeline giggled and leaned against my desk. “How ‘bout tonight?”

I turned back to the window, “Oh, that’d be great, but I can’t really afford it, even with that crazy raise your husband so generously gave me.”

“Shut up. You earned it. You know you did; you work harder than most of the people in this place. I’ll pay, you just make sure you give me sparkling employee reviews.”

“I can’t let you do that.” I turned to the sound of clicking. “Emmaline?”

“And done.” She snapped her phone, shut. “Just don’t tell Krista and Noreen. Honestly, they’re kind of buzzkills. I didn’t get the fancy table this time. Hope that’s okay.”

“What? Emmaline. That’s way too much!”

“Nah. Honestly Bradley won’t even miss it. But I mean it about those employee reviews. I want it to sound like I am Mother Theresa and Jesus all rolled into one. It’s already paid for. So, show up tonight and look nice.”

**********************************************************************

So I did. I dressed in the most luxurious dress I owned, donned sky-high heels, and draped myself in chains and jewels. Anticipation shook me down to the cells as Angela took us to a table at the back. She gave the same speech and introduced our waiter as Michelle. Michelle activated when Angela departed, moving towards us with stiff, blocky movements. She neared me and I caught the whisper of a scent reminiscent of the aftertaste of the drink. I wrinkled my nose, trying to place the fleeting smell. It definitely didn’t bring up positive feelings.

As Michelle retreated, I slipped a bite into a napkin and tucked it into my purse. Emmaline’s eyes widened and I held a finger to my lips. She smiled and tucked her own piece away.

I slipped a bite of the flesh between my teeth and fell into the dream. My body shrank, twisting in on itself until I stood no taller than a daisy. Shimmery wings sprouted from my back. I flapped them with the speed of a hummingbird, until they blurred, and the world around me slowed. Dozens of replicas materialized around me, spewing joyous shouts and songs. They touched down to a meadow and whispered flowers as tall as trees from the earth. I copied them and my flower dug its roots deep into the soil, and I could feel the life energy of the entire universe thrumming through its roots. I laid across its buttery petals, wrapped myself around its flowery perfume, and encased myself in the giggles of my new community. A shadow sprung up at the edge of my vision. Each time I turned my head, it ran away.

When reality tugged on me, I fought harder, clinging to the vibrancy of my new world. Until the real world crashed through the door and violently ripped me away.

Sparkles lingered in my eye long after the fairies and flowers faded away. When even they burst, their absence settled into a heavy emptiness on my chest. I sighed deeply into my glass and downed it. Emmeline, generous, sweet, thoughtful Emmeline sensed the deep melancholy I had sunk into and allowed me to wallow in it as she walked me home.

“Maybe again next week? Just you and me? It could be our special thing.” I dipped my head and leaned against my door frame. “At least we still have-” She paused in rifling through her purse and pulled it up to her face to inspect. “Mine’s gone.”

I rifled through my purse, pushing away a wallet, makeup, a bottle of ibuprofen, lint and crumbs, but no napkin. “Did they search our bags while we were out?” I gasped. I gaped at Emmeline, and she stared back, open-mouthed.

“How would they have even known? We might have lost them on the way home.”

“Both of us?”

She shrugged, “We’ll try again next time.”

Thursdays became our girl’s night out. She would kiss charming Mr. Dalton goodnight and meet me in the alleyway. We’d sit across from each other and dream our separate dreams and reminisce that night on all the fantastical things. Each time we snuck a morsel it had disappeared by the time we woke up.

Thursdays became so far away. Real life became the dream. In three hour bursts of life each week, I fell in love, I learned God’s name, I travelled far and wide.

One Thursday evening, I waited at the grate. Our meeting time arrived and left, and Emmeline never showed. I texted her, I called her, and overcome with anxiety and a compulsive hunger, I traipsed the long journey of subway cars and concrete trees to the Dalton’s penthouse estate. A maid opened on my tenth bang. Her wide eyes narrowed to contempt as she saw me on the stoop.

“Can I help you?”

“I- ugh” I licked my dry lips and fiddled with my fingers. “I just need to speak to Emmeline, is she okay?”

The maid pursed her lips and glared at me. She took me in from head to toe, her eyes lingered at my throat.

“Mrs. Dalton is currently in bed with her husband.”

My mouth fell open, a mix of rage and despair swirled in the pit of my stomach.

“Emmeline!” I shouted, stepping through the doorway. The maid held up a hand and barred my way.

“Emmeline! Answer me, where are you?”

“I think it’s time for you to go. If Mrs. Dalton wishes to speak with you, she’ll reach out in the morning.” She moved to close the door and I put my foot against it. I flung it open and shoved past the maid. She stumbled backwards over the entryway bench with a sharp gasp. I stormed up the stairs, calling Emmeline’s name as I went.

She met me at the top. The pale sheen of moonlight through the windows lit her unkempt hair and made her appear otherworldly. An ethereal goddess gifted to mankind. I was sure my own frazzled mass and the dim lighting only made me look feral, diseased. She held up a hand to stop the maid who thundered up the stairs after me. “Amy! Are you insane? What on earth are you doing here?” She shouted breathlessly.

“You blew me off. What the hell, Emmeline? I called you, I texted you, I thought you’d been hurt.”

Her face hardened. “So, you break into my house and assault my maid, really?”

“I didn’t break into your house, and that was an accident! Don’t try to twist this. Why did you blow me off, I waited for you for HOURS, Emmeline!”

She dropped her face into her hands and kneaded her brow. “Oh, so you really are insane.” She huffed, and the sound twisted into a breathy scoff. “We had this conversation, Amy. Three weeks ago, the last time you showed up for work, thanks for that, by the way. Bradley is furious. I had to beg, beg him to give you this chance. I can’t keep doing this, you have a problem, I know I started it, I know I enabled it, but I’m done with that now.”

“Three weeks ago?” I laughed. "We just made plans this morning, Emmeline, who is the crazy one?”

She regarded me coldly, disbelief painted clearly across her face. “What day do you think it is, Amy?”

“It’s Thursday, the day we meet up each week.”

“It’s Tuesday. And yeah, Thursday’s the day we met up each week, until three weeks ago, when you stole my phone and wallet after I told you I wouldn’t be bank rolling your spiral anymore.” The words came out as an accusatory hiss. She held up her hands. “Hold on.” She disappeared behind a door and came back holding out a cell phone. “Don’t steal this one. I’ve installed a tracking device.” She pointed at the date.

I stared at it dumbfounded. My heart fell into my stomach and thudded a painful beat that nauseated me. I reached for the phone and she pulled it out of my grip, shaking her head.

“And if you don’t trust that, why don’t we just prove it, huh?” she snatched my purse from my shoulder and upended it over the dark hallway floor. The contents skittered apart as they hit the floor. She rifled through them and picked out two items. “No wallet but oh, look, my cell phone.” She held it in front of my face and shook it. “I think I’m just going to take that back, if you don’t mind. And oh hey! Here’s yours, look at that date Amy, look at it!” She shoved the phone roughly into my sluggish hands and panted through bared teeth.

My eyes burned as I took in the date. I shook my head. “I don’t-” My voice caught. With shaky fingers I pushed back my hair. The rough strands left a film on my fingers. I turned away stiffly and retreated down the stairs, not taking my attention away from the glaring date. I heard Emmeline call after me, but didn’t register the words, she followed me out into the hall, still shouting. “...your stuff...trash…back here…cops...”

I stumbled to the elevator and out into the chilly dim. It didn’t make sense. Yesterday, yesterday, I had been in my office working away. Just this morning, the 5th, I had spoken to Emmeline about tonight. She had laughed at a dumb joke I made, before setting up the reservation. Noreen had entered, and we hastily scrambled to change the subject.

Right? Right? I breathed to settle my ripping breaths and tore at a burning itch that sprung up along my throat.

I dialed Noreen. Three rings.

“Hello. You’ve reached Noreen Hunt, leave a message-”

Two rings. “Hey there! Krista can’t come-”

Ring.

“Hey there!-”

“You worthless thing!” I roared at the phone and tossed it away. It clattered to the street and started singing. It called my name in a gentle chant. The voice rose until it sounded from all around me, and then inside of me. A great sense of urgency filled me, pulling me along.

Shadows joined me on my way, laughing and dancing all about. We passed as one through silver forests and through the deepest seas. They coalesced into playful sprites that spurred me on. I reached a gaping door and they darted away.

I waited and waited and waited at the door. No one ever came. Minutes, hours…. days? I kept time with the thirst that ravaged my throat and the dragons that milled around me. They dipped and flew with graceful arcs and cooled me with their flames. Others joined me, an imp by the name of Harry, she said she loved my name. Amber? Annalise? Whatever. I waited there alone, days and weeks and months alone.

The nothing door creaked open, and the voice rose to a consuming crescendo. It thrummed inside my bones, rattled my ears and drew me down, down, down the long tunnel of daisies and iron. A dashing prince waited just on the other side of two feathered wings, hand outstretched. I grasped his hand, and he pulled me in, lips parting in a hungry smile. He spun me around to face the center of a large room, surrounded by dozens of beautiful, masked revelers.

A single beam of moonlight highlighted a naked woman. Her lithe form dipped and spun and leaped around a chair. The booming voice originated from her, and she aimed it at a man. He slumped forward in the chair, a golden mask upon his face. He shuddered and shook as a silver sheen emanated from his form, he arched forward and wheezed. The silver light arced and spun into a smokey tendril.

The woman held out a vial and the smoky essence funneled into it. She collected the last drop and the man collapsed back into the chair. The voice cut off, dropping the room into silence. The woman turned to me and I recognized Angela, she fixed me with a cold smile.

The man rose from the chair. He stumbled toward the edge of the room and melted into the crowd.

As one, the audience turned to me. A million dark eyes bore into me. Scaly flesh gripped my shoulders and hauled me forward. I struggled to get my feet beneath me, and only managed to do so when rough hands shoved me backwards into the vacated chair. A sudden flash of light blinded me and flooded the room.

“Welcome!” Angela bellowed, splaying her hands wide above her head. “The guest of honor has arrived.”

The bright light exposed the beautiful revelers as gaunt-faced ghouls, each of them adorned in the same black robe. They stared blankly ahead, not even breath moved in their chests. Grey, rotted flesh peeled from parts of their sunken faces.

I reeled back, the fear granting me a moment of terrible lucidity and ripping away the euphoric daze. “What have you done to me?”

Angela shook her head. “Oh, dear, nobody made you come here. Nobody made you come back. You have done this to yourself.”

“It didn’t impact anyone else the way it did me.”

“Well, it should have been clear from the moment you walked in, that you didn’t really belong here.”

“So, you poisoned me because, what, I wasn’t born rich or beautiful?”

Angela lurched forward and dropped to a knee in front of me, her bright smile had turned sickly sweet. “Oh no, dear girl, you have it all wrong. We give the same treatment to all who enter. How nice it is to be them, right? With so little care, so little bother in the world to weigh down their heads at night. But those like us,” she dropped her eyes and caressed the glass vial lovingly, “those with heavy burdens, are effected differently.” She tilted her head and fixed me with a beady stare. “I try to save us. I make it expensive, so it is difficult for people like you and me, but still some sneak through. You still had the choice, you could have been stronger, you could have walked away. Now, there is nothing I can do.”

“You could’ve warned me.”

Angela tsked sadly.

“But then,” another voice chimed from behind the line of ghouls. Emmeline stepped forward, skirting the rotting carcasses. “We wouldn’t have our next meal.” She smiled a twisted, cold smile. Even as it stabbed a spike of fear into my belly, it sent my heart fluttering.

Suddenly, the scent I had smelled in the hallway, on the staff, the taint at the end of the drink, came to me. Sour milk. As soon as I placed the scent, a huge wave of it assaulted me and I gagged on it. It hung off every surface of the room.

“Emmeline?”

She shrugged and bared her teeth. “Sorry, Amy, it’s not personal, just business.”

“You eat people? That’s what this is? You’re a cannibal who drugs their food?”

Emmeline tipped her delicate chin back and laughed. “Our product isn’t human flesh, it’s more of-” she waved her hand in the air, and quirked a brow, “an essence. Like, a soul. It’s what gives our food its special kick.”

“You eat souls?”

“No, dear. We never consume our product; it wouldn’t treat us very well.”

“But, I saw-” I stopped. I had never actually seen Emmeline take a bite. I had always eaten first. I had just assumed; I had had no reason to suspect- oh god. I swallowed hard and a single tear rolled down my face.

“Don’t you understand, dear.” Angela sighed. “Emmeline is one of us.” The illusion fell away. Before my eyes, Angela and Emmeline transformed. Their perfect exteriors melted off, replaced by two figures just as flawed and ugly and human as I was.

“Fix me, please. Just let me go.” I pleaded, a frantic tinge edging my voice. “We are friends!” Emmeline stared down at me with an unflinching detachment.

“Oh no,” Angela chided sweetly, as if she were calming an irate child. “Think of this like a test, you failed.” She gripped my exposed wrist and held it in front of my face. The skin swelled around her fingers, angry and pussy. “Once the rot sets in, we can only do one thing.” She patted my wrist sadly. “Release you.”

She lifted a mask and a bite of meat from behind her back. I recoiled violently, kicking at her with my feet. A black clad arm wrapped around me and held me still. A hand gripped my chin and yanked it down, digging into the skin.

I squirmed and screamed and thrashed. A helpless squeal tore from my throat.

“Don’t worry this won’t hurt a bit, it will feel…” she bit her lip and moaned. “Wonderful.” She popped the bite into my mouth. The rough hands snapped my jaw shut and Angela slammed the mask down on my face. Tingles started against my skin, a feather light caress. Tentative tendrils reached out and molded themselves against my skin. The hands released me, and I scrabbled against the mask, trying to pull it free. Panic, cold and suffocating bubbled up into a muffled wail. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t even move my mouth.

On instinct, I swallowed and gagged as I fought the motion. But down , down, down went the food. No. No. No.

Joy filled me. A gentle peace quelled the despair, and I choked on the relief. The dream wrapped around me, tugging on me with loving fingers. The last thing I heard before it pulled me under, was Angela’s triumphant song.