Dreamscape

The first time that I lucid dreamed I was 14. I "woke up" in the middle of a nightmare and shot a zombie in the head. It took me a little bit to realize what was happening but before the end of that first dream I was flying and shooting laser beams out of my eyes. When i actually woke up my heart was still racing from how real everything had been and felt. I went to school that day and told all my friends and one informed me about lucid dreaming. The way he talked about how difficult it was it seemed like I was a natural. That night when I went to bed I immediately started shifting my dream scape around me. Before I knew it I had built a full 1:1 replica of my favorite anime around myself. I know I'm a nerd trust me. Every night when I would go to sleep I would build whole worlds around myself for me to play in. It even got to the point where I could populate the world with other people. Most of the time they were just amalgamations of all the people I knew. I even used my lucid dreaming to do world building for me and my friends to pay tabletop games. I ended up always playing DM but that was fine because everyone would compliment me on how unique and detailed my games were. I would just give them a sly smile and tap my temple leaving them wondering how I came up with it all.

One day when I was around 17 was the first time I actually used my lucid dreaming for something besides adventuring. I had a crush on a girl in my chemistry class who I just couldn't get the nerve up to talk to her. So I went into my dreams and played out the whole scenario dozens of times over even had my first kiss before I woke up. The next day when I went to school I suddenly had the confidence in me to talk to her. I mean I had already done it so much how would this be any different? Before the end of the day we were dating and I even had my real first kiss. I started applying this same strategy to everything big in my life. Big test coming up? Dream on it. Big exam or essay? Dream on it. My first job interview after leaving high school? Dream on it and nail it. As I got older I found myself leaving behind my fantasy worlds behind instead opting to live out real world scenarios instead. One night around the age of 20 while I was in college I came to fully realize just how much power I had while dreaming.

One night I decided I wanted to be someone entirely different from myself. So I decided to create a whole new life within my dream. Starting from being born. I was born into a rich family but with parents who were often gone due to work. A family where my accomplishments both in and out of school meant so much more than my own happiness. You may ask why I chose something so bleak for a world where I could will anything into existence? The answer was simple. It was such a mass departure from my real life. Where I had parents who loved me no matter what. Where people were proud of me but what I accomplished was not the sole reason for it. I just wanted to see life from a different perspective. My new name in this dream was Blake. It took me a little bit to get used to being called a different name but soon I was used to it. I grew up and went to fancy private schools for education. I went through an ivy league college to get a degree in business. I stood tall and proud amongst everyone. I had money and power in my hands from the moment I was born. I got married at the age of 27 to a woman I didn't really care for but marrying her allowed my father and her father to befriend one another and merge their companies. I was playing a long game to my eventual fortune. Me and my wife rarely spoke, often eating and sleeping in different parts of our large home. I had two children both boys whom I would groom like I had been to one day rise up and be a titan amongst men in the world of business. When my father passed away it was an ugly affair. The old man clung for dear life begging the spirits around him to not take him. But I grew tired of waiting for his passing and paid the family doctor a small fortune to quietly send him to his final sleep. I didn't attend my father's funeral. I was too busy as the new head of his company rearranging everything to move us into the future. I think the worst part was that I had no remorse about it all. This is what I was groomed to do after all. I lived my life alone. I never really knew either of my children and I rarely saw my wife. But I grew my business to monumental heights and acquired a vast fortune. I died at the age of 72 from congestive heart failure. That was the official report anyways. My only real regret being that I couldn't take all that I had acquired with me. Surrounded by an army of doctors and lawyers I set my final words and actions to paper. I decided I would not leave this world the way my father had. I would leave with dignity. I once again paid my doctor now a small fortune to send me to my final sleep. When I actually woke up I began to cry. I didn't cry because I had died I cried because of how I lived. I had been a monster to everyone. It had been like playing a video game and just picking every evil option when I had the chance. I wept for a full hour before my alarm went off. I had just lived an entire lifetime in six hours and I was exhausted but I got up anyway because I had to do something with my day to get the nasty taste of being Blake out of my mouth.

After that dream I went back to my fantasy lands for a month or so. I didn't really want to think about the real world in my dreams too much. Blake may have died but his experiences were with me now and I was afraid if I drifted too far in the world of my dreams I might find him again or maybe one of his descendents. I know that sounds crazy but while Blake was part of my dreamscape he was just as real to me as anyone else I knew. I could still remember every aspect of his life as if I were still him. After a month of hiding out in my fantasy lands I decided to try living another life again. This time I would be a good man. Much better than myself. Once again I was born this time to a lower class family. I don't know why but I had always equated rich with bad morals and poor with good morals thus the shift in economic stability. My name was Richard. I grew up in a Christian home going to poor public schools a little more akin to what I was actually used to. I became a man of the cloth early in my life only to abandon it shortly thereafter because I felt it restricted my generous spirit too much. I spent my life helping the poor, meek, and helpless. I got married and had 4 children all of which I knew well and whom I loved very much. I spent my life in service to all who needed it and I rarely suffered strife. I died at the age of 91 surrounded by friends and loved ones. My wife and children and my grandchildren. All the people I had helped through the years. I fell asleep content and happy drifting to the arms of whatever thing awaited me on the other side. I woke up crying again but this time from joy. A life so well lived and so wonderful especially when compared to Blake.Once again I awoke an hour before my alarm. A whole life in all of six hours again. That seemed to be the magic number. I got out of bed with my alarm and went on to my day. I realized rather quickly that I was different today. I was stopping and talking to people when they looked sad. By the time I actually made it to class from my dorm I had given away almost all of my money. Funny enough the first class for today was my Psych class.

Our last class had actually been about dreams so I figured before we got started today maybe I could ask our professor one question about lucid dreaming. As he walked into the class I caught his attention and he came to my desk "Excuse me professor but I have a question? Is it possible for someone to have a dream so real and vivid that it alters their personality?" The professor regarded me with tired eyes. "You said yesterday you were a lucid dreamer and had been for years right?" I nodded once honestly, surprised he had remembered. "Did you decide to have a dream where you decided to live a new life?" I nodded again, stunned he had already figured this out. "I would recommend not to do that. While research is practically non-existent on the subject, what little we do know suggests that dreaming as someone else too often could perhaps start to override your current personality. This is mainly speculation but better safe than sorry right?" At this point he walked to the board and started the lesson of the day. I continued to sit and think for the rest of the class and then the rest of the day. I think it was time to do some research of my own.

I decided to give myself only a week off this time. Being Richard had been really pleasant and I didn't feel near as scarred this time around. My next dream I tried to strike a more normal tone between terrible and pious. I lived a fairly simple life. I married early and I was divorced by 55. I worked as a car salesman most of my life. I died at 66 due to a brain aneurysm due to just bad genetics and diet. I had lived well. I wasn't the best man nor the worst. Over the next week I kept a journal complete with a record of my life. The journal was to note any changes in my personality which there were a few. My cravings for salty snacks went through the roof. I got a bit more charismatic but also kind of sleazy. My level of ambition dropped slightly as well. I noticed within 4 days the effects were already wearing off to nil. So the next week rolled around and this time I decided to be a rockstar. I lived a hard life of drugs, sex, and rock&roll. I died at 32 from an overdose. I woke up in a cold sweat craving of all things cocaine. That week would be the first week I would ever actually do drugs. I also listened to a lot of 80's metal. Learned how to play a couple of chords on an electric guitar. The life of being a rockstar hadn't fully left me before it was time for my next dream. For my next life I decided to be a good man again, maybe try to wipe the rockstar personality out of my head. I wasn't as pious as Richard but I was still a good person. I did charitable things. I was a faithful husband. I made sure my children were well educated mentally, emotionally, and physically. When I woke up from that dream I took a deep breath and was slammed by a sudden splitting headache. I could hear the voices of the rockstar and the man I had just been arguing in my head. They were arguing over what drink I should have now that I had woken up. A beer or water? I could physically feel the back and forth tug between the two waging war in my head. Finally with great effort I managed to shove them both back down till I could hear my own voice again in my head.

At this point I should have quit. I logically knew that both then and now. But I'll admit I was getting kind of addicted to it. I had lived 5 very different lives. Each one with great moments and truly heartbreaking ones as well. I had lived as these people. I had learned from them. The joys of kindness, power, and of living life to the fullest. I finally understood the rich and powerful. The righteous pious people who preached their good word in the streets. That the candle that burns brightest also burns out the fastest. Like I said logically I knew it was time to stop. But I couldn't bring myself to actually do it. I had an opportunity no one else did. I could learn from all these lives and maybe even become enlightened to the true state of the human race. I was a bit into Buddhism at the time. So instead of taking time off especially after just having such a nasty argument between two of the people in my head I decided I should just go full tilt. I stayed awake for maybe two hours then went back to sleep. That next dream was the one to go ahead and break my psyche. After that I just started constantly sleeping. I would wake up long enough to eat, drink, and go to a bathroom then go back to sleep. Well all it took was one week. That's when someone finally checked up on me. When they came into my room was a mess. I apparently had constantly been rearranging my room after every new life. But it was conflicting with previous lives so everything was in disarray. When they asked me if I could say my name I gave them the names of every life I had lived except for my own. I had no idea what the date was or even where I was. Too many conflicting personalities all vying to answer at once. After that I was deemed mentally unfit and sent to an institution. For both care and to study me. Now I get to lie in bed and sleep all day. The nice people give me food and water through tubes. They help me with the bathroom. I haven't moved my physical body in ages. That's okay though. I get to live so many lives now without the distraction of that first boring life being in my way. Why wait 70+ years to experience a life when I can do it in six hours? Every time I wake up I'm someone new. Someone who has learned more about life than anyone else. The room I'm in is always the same but that's okay. When I get bored of it I can just go live a new life. Well goodbye then. I've been awake far too long this time. Off to another life.