Dial-a-Soulmate

Ingrid checked her phone again, no reception. The cabin was exactly like she remembered it, no wifi and no cable. Of course that was one of the reasons she was here, to get away from it all. She made herself some tea and went to look for a book to read.

Most of the cupboards held extra blankets, kitchen supplies, or campfire accessories. One of them had books, she knew it, but she couldn’t remember which one. She opened the odd shaped door under the stairs and out tumbled several boxes. She braced against the onslaught and caught as many as she could, shoving them back into the cupboard. One box escaped and scattered its contents to the ground.

Dial-a-Soulmate. It was Ingrid’s favorite game from childhood; she and her sisters would spend hours playing it and daydreaming about their favorite boyfriends.

The game started on board and you rolled dice to advance on a circular track. The stops featured meet-cute style depictions where you’d have to answer trivia, finds clues, and earn romance points. You could turn romance points into dates. You had four opportunities on the board to land on a telephone and, with three successful dates, you could get a call from your soulmate.

A plastic peach phone in the center of the board would ring. If you watched for the right clues and chose the right dates then you would hear one of your dates pronouncing their undying love.

If you chose wrong, you would hear the guy announce, “Hey, it’s [insert name of eligible bachelor.] I’m sorry girl, this just isn’t working out for me.”

There were 32 different guys each with unique messages.

“Hey, girl, it’s Steven. I love coffee in bed, running into the sunset, and you.”

“My love, it is Benicio. Get closer, please. My heart aches when I am without you.”

“Edward here, my dear, I must warn you I’m going to buy you another diamond necklace.”

 “Baby, I know when you’ve had it rough and you never have to hide it. Nicky here and I did all the chores.”

It was horribly… fun, okay, she really enjoyed the game. She knew it was seriously outdated, severely sexist, and probably needed new batteries. Who was it that she loved? What was his name?

She began to sort through the innards of the spilled game and sorted the cards into a pile. She pulled out the board and set it on the small dining table. Another board had fallen to the ground, her brother’s spirit board, but she didn’t see a box for it so she set it on the table to the side.

Each of the boyfriend cards featured a sexy stereotypical cartoon boyfriend. Sexy cop, sexy construction worker, sexy doctor, rich old man… Daniel! It was Daniel that was her favorite; he was a tall and tan forest ranger with a heart of gold for woodland creatures. He had brown wavy hair under a green ranger’s hat and a goofy grin peeking through a short beard.

“Hi, it’s your soulmate, Daniel. Let’s go outside and explore the world together.”

One of the reasons Ingrid liked Daniel was that he seemed to be an easy win for her. Whenever she got a date with him they would always win.

“RING-RINK,” came the tinny out of tune call of the pink phone.

RING-RINK-RING-RINK

Ingrid reached over and picked up the phone, she put it to her ear.

“Hi, it’s your soulmate, Daniel. Let’s go outside and explore the world together,” came the staticy reply.

“Well hello, Daniel, how did you know I was just thinking about you,” Ingrid said into the phone.

“Congratulations. If you would like to play again, press start now.”

“What the hell,” Ingrid said, it wasn’t impossible to play alone. She pressed start.

Ingrid’s game played well into the evening. She met Charlie, Steven, Mateo, Julius, and Fredrik; Daniel would have to wait for another game. She went on dates with Charlie, Mateo, and Fredrik. She ultimately narrowed down her clues to Fredrik being her soulmate. She registered her choice, Fredrik, and landed on a phone icon.

RING-RINK-RING-RINK

“Hi, it’s your soulmate, Daniel. Let’s go outside and explore the world together,” came the staticy reply.

“Daniel! No, it should be Fredrik. Fredrik is going to be a very disappointed fireman man, Daniel. Well, damn, the game must be busted.”

Ingrid rubbed her eyes and decided it was time for bed. She barely saw the planchette on the table move as she stood from her seat and made her way up the stairs to the bedroom.

When she finally tucked herself into bed she checked her phone one more time to confirm she did not have reception. She set the phone on the bedside table and closed her eyes. She wasn’t sure when she fell asleep.

RING-RINK-RING-RINK

RING-RINK-RING-RINK

RING-RINK-RING-RINK

RING-RINK-RING-RINK

“Hello,” Ingrid said, swiping and putting the phone to her ear without ever opening her eyes.

“Hi,” came a delayed reply.

“Hello, who is this?” Ingrid asked, opening her eyes and sitting up. She brushed hair from her face.

“Hi, it’s your soulmate, Daniel,” distant, staticy.

Ingrid pulled the phone away from her face. It was her phone, not the one from the game.

“Daniel?”

“Must warn you… outside… get closer… rough…”

“Who is this?” Ingrid practically screamed into the phone.

“Hi, it’s your soulmate, Daniel. Hide… Ingrid,” and Ingrid hung up the phone.

She checked the time, 3am. She tossed the phone to the foot of the bed and pulled the comforter up to her chin.

RING-RINK-RING-RINK

The call did not come from her own phone, but from the kitchen below. She picked up her phone and crept quietly out of bed and slowly down the stairs. The plastic peach phone was on its side, blinking blue and white lights.

RING-RINK-RING-RINK

She picked it up.

“Run… hide…”

She dropped the phone and the little plastic pieces that held the batteries fell off.

RING-RINK-RING-RINK

She scooped the batteries out of the toy and dropped the phone again.

RING-RINK-RING-RINK

RING-RINK-RING-RINK

RING-RINK-RING-RINK

RING-RINK-RING-RINK

“Frederik here, the flame of our love is a passionate eternal burning.”

The phone stopped ringing.

The cabin was dark and silent.

Ingrid’s gripped the table from fright and as she began to loosen she heard a twig snap outside. She crouched down and slowly slid under the table. She strained her ears to listen.

A footstep on the gravely path. Another. The creak of a wooden step.

A hand pressed against the glass of the doorway, a huff of breath fogged up the glass.

Ingrid’s phone vibrated in her hand, an incoming text message labeled Daniel, she opened it.

Daniel: Stay under the table.

The sound of a window breaking, glass chiming against wood, tore through the silence of the house and Ingrid whimpered. Her phone vibrated.

Daniel: Let me help you. Can I help you?

“Yes,” Ingrid said to herself.

Daniel: Do you trust me, Indrid?

“Yes,” Ingrid said to Daniel.

A loud thump. Slow, steady footsteps. She steadied herself to run.

Daniel: Wait. Keys in kitchen. Use backdoor.

The clunk, clunk, of heavy boots.

Daniel: Wait.

He was almost on top of her and the kitchen grew silent. Ingrid held her breath. Her phone vibrated. She squeezed it.

The footsteps moved away from her. Then she heard them take the stairs, one by one, slowly and carefully. They moved down the hallway and stopped at her room. She looked at her phone.

Daniel: GO NOW!

Ingrid bolted from the table and grabbed her keys from the table. They jingled in her phone as footsteps bolted down the hallway; she was barely out the backdoor when the man inside the house tore down the stairs and went out the front door.

She pressed herself against the dark exterior of the cabin walls, the cold wind pinching at the corners of her eyes. She strained to hear through it and then the front door opened again and closed. With all the stealth she could muster, she slid around the side of the house and dashed toward her car.

She started it up and the automatic headlights shone bright against the house. She backed up in three short bursts and drove away. Her headlights bright as flames against a large man in deep shadows. He waved as she accelerated down the driveway.

She sped down the lonely forest road at top speed, not knowing or caring what she was doing beyond getting as far from the cabin as possible. She had no idea how much time had passed when she saw a flash of crimson and blue. She was getting pulled over.

She pulled to the side of the road.

“Everything okay, ma’am?”

“There’s a man, a man broke into my cabin. I’m staying at my family cabin up the way and a man broke into the cabin,” Ingrid blurted.

“Calm down, I’ve already got it called in and the police will be here soon. You’re going to be safe. Do you want me to follow you out of here? You have somewhere to go?”

“Yes, I have somewhere to go. I just need to get out of the canyon and call my husband. The police?”

“Husband?”

Ingrid looked up at officer and noticed, for the first time, he was part of the forest service.

“You said you trusted me, Ingrid.”

“How do know my name? How did you know to call something in to the police?”

“I loved you, Ingrid. Why couldn’t you wait for me?”

His name tag flashed in the reflections from the moon: Daniel.

Daniel face burst into a big goofy grin. The radio strapped to his chest buzzed with static.

RING-RINK-RING-RINK

RING-RINK-RING-RINK

“Hey, it’s Daniel. I’m sorry girl, this just isn’t working out for me,” said a voice from the radio.