Critical Survival Guide for Immortal Humans

Please find a quiet corner and read this manual before proceeding into your new life.

YES, you died. No, you are not a ghost or spirit or one of the undead. In a broad sense, you are very much alive. You are also not alone. From time to time, you will encounter others like you.

Here are eight simple rules or guidelines to survive in your brave new world.

 Leave the area you died in as quickly as possible.

(Mortals believe you are dead. If found, you will be hunted and become a Lab Rat.)

 DO NOT try to leave messages or try to attend your own funeral or memorial services.

(See Lab Rat)

 Though tempting, do not follow or try to terrify mortals. You might have a score to settle with someone, but your own salvation comes first.

(See Lab Rat)

 Change the name you use. The person you were is dead!

( A number will be provided to you, use a burner or throw away cellphone, do not use your own phone or a work phone)

 Follow directions from the voice on the phone exactly; it shall help provide identification and money. The voice should provide aid in leaving the area you died. This is usually done very quickly.

 Do not try to talk to the media or start a career as an oddity.

(See Lab Rat – Worse, the Council will send someone out to bring you in for Education)

 Avoid all authorities, hospitals, and clinics.

(See Lab Rat & Council)

 Try to avoid dying again too soon. It hurts a lot, especially the first three or four times.

WELCOME TO YOUR NEW LIFE!

A few frequently asked and some short answers. Please remember the voice on your call is there to give directions, not answer these sorts of questions.

 Are there others like me and do we have parties or socials?

- Yes, there are immortal beings around the globe, do not seek them out.

- No Parties or socials ever.

 Do we hunt each other?

- Old human television series, no hunting or fishing for immortal beings.

- "There can be only one" does not apply ever!

- No great reward for killing or trying to kill another immortal.

 Are all immortals humans like me?

- No! Beware, the world has a variety of immortal beings with Long hidden pasts and life spans.

Avoid pissing them off!

 Are there Evil Human Immortals?

- Yes, the majority of immortal humans avoid conflict at all costs.

- But, some immortals engage in questionable activities and commit horrifying crimes. Human immortals will face the judgement of the Council.

 What is the Council?

- The Council is a body of elders who govern and are themselves, human immortals.

- They advise Human Immortals as required and pass judgment on human immortals and occasional other immortal beings.

- The Council liaisons with the Goblin Collective, Federation of Magical Beasts, the Vampire Elective, Society of Fairies & Leprechauns.

- The Council will also try to improve relations with Ghosts and Magical Beings.

 Can I trust immortals?

- Short answer is Yes and No!

For the most part, human immortals are trustworthy; they will rarely try to eat you or torture you.

- Avoid playing games of chance with Leprechauns, Goblins and especially Trolls.

- Trolls though not extremely bright, will often hit you with large objects, and you may come back to life being barbequed over an open flame.

- Leprechauns are known to cheat when playing cards and may try to turn you into a large Mushroom if you cheat or win at cards.

- Goblins are great with their wealth but tend to pass nasty gas when losing at games of chance.

 I never asked to be Immortal, so why am I still here?

- Most Human immortals never asked to live forever.

- Some Human Immortals use their time to bring good into this world.

- Some Human Immortals bring evil.

- Others are just lazy sods that move around the planet doing very little positive or negative deeds.

- Short answer to the question, we do not know why some Humans become Immortal.

 Who’s on this Immortal Council?

- The exact number on the council is not known.

- Some of the Council have lived thousands of years.

- Council Members are not elected but chosen over time.

 Can I be killed?

- Yes, you can be really killed, as in forever dead!

- The electromagnet field in the brain needs to be disrupted for at least thirty seconds.

- Removing the head, electric shock, head squished, headshot through (at the right angle) are classic examples of quick deaths for Immortal Humans.

- Painful slow deaths involve burnt at stake, burnt in a Barbeque.

(see Trolls)

- Cremation on purpose or accidentally leaves you as a pile of ashes.

This Short Brochure on Being Immortal cannot be shown to others and will fade away within one hour of being opened. Read with care and quickly call the number provided at the bottom of this brochure. Yes, on occasion, these brochures have exploded, imploded or worse.

Authors Notes

This is the first in a new series of "Immortal Stories" Please Subscribe, enjoy and follow. Thank you for reading; this short piece will also appear on Medium.com.