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Classic Movie Review: 'The Hand'

Oliver Stone botches what should be a fun, campy, silly horror movie.

By Sean PatrickPublished 9 months ago 3 min read
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The Hand (1981)

Directed by Oliver Stone

Written by Oliver Stone

Starring Michael Caine, Bruce McGill

Release Date April 24th, 1981

Published August 2nd, 2023

The Hand is a truly bizarre failure. Writer-Director Oliver Stone, directing only his second feature, sets out to have us be genuinely afraid that a severed hand might be killing people. Forgetting the fact that watching people wrestle with a severed hand that they are holding to their throat is a very, very funny visual, Stone is deathly serious in how he presents The Hand. Eschewing the 60s B-Movie, Drive-In aesthetic more suited to this idea, Stone seems to think that he can convince us that a severed hand is a frightening monster on par with the greats of MGM's murderer's row.

Stone is undermined in his effort by his choice of star. Michael Caine may be an all time beloved actor but when he's in a bad movie, he gets into the bad vibe. Caine has famously said of The Hand that the film helped put a new garage on his home. That about sums up Caine's level of commitment to this silly, silly movie that only the writer-director seems to think is genuinely scary. Caine hams it up in the role of cartoonist, Jon Lansdale.

The contempt with which Caine discusses his character's profession is unintentionally hilarious. The idea is that he's become wildly successful and famous for writing a manly superhero character. But when Caine tries to defend the integrity of his creation, his art, he sounds as if he were mocking the very concept of comic strips all together. There is simply nothing about the actor Michael Caine that screams comic strip auteur. It's easy to sense that Caine simply doesn't care about this back story, it's what he's been asked to deliver and he's doing it.

The plot of The Hand centers on an accident in which our cartoonist protagonist loses his hand. The hand is cut clean off and then simply vanishes from the field where it most certainly had landed. The hand then begins a reign of terror that begins with menacing the family cat and graduates to a legit body count. The question hovering over all of the action of The Hand however is: Is the hand killing people or is it all in Jon Lansdale's mind?

This plot is comically over-wrought. Oliver Stone can't seem to decide which side of the question he comes down on. He keeps throwing twist after twist at the screen before reaching a comical ending where a wild haired Caine watches as his severed hand commits yet another murder. But we still don't know if this is real or in the crazed, diseased mind of a mad cartoonist. That clumsy presentation only further serves to expose the inanity of The Hand.

The Hand is the classic on the latest edition of the Everyone's a Critic Movie Review Podcast. Each week, myself and my co-hosts, film fan Bob Zerull, and artist Jeff Lassiter, debate the newest nationwide releases and at least one classic based on that week's new films. We chose The Hand to coincide with the release of the new A24 horror film, Talk to Me, which centers its horror on a ceramic hand that may or may not be a real hand encased in plaster and capable of linking the living and the dead. Talk to Me is an exceptional movie and we had a great conversation about it on the Everyone's a Critic Movie Review Podcast before we all dunked on The Hand. Listen to the Everyone's a Critic Movie Review Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.

Find my archive of more than 20 years and nearly 2000 movie reviews at SeanattheMovies.blogspot.com. Find my modern review archive on my Vocal Profile, linked here. Follow me on Twitter at PodcastSean. Follow the archive blog on Twitter at SeanattheMovies. Listen to me talk about movies on the Everyone's a Critic Movie Review Podcast. If you have enjoyed what you have read, consider subscribing to my writing on Vocal. If you'd like to support my writing on Vocal you can do so by making a monthly pledge or by leaving a one-time tip. Thanks!

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About the Creator

Sean Patrick

Hello, my name is Sean Patrick He/Him, and I am a film critic and podcast host for the I Hate Critics Movie Review Podcast I am a voting member of the Critics Choice Association, the group behind the annual Critics Choice Awards.

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  • Kendall Defoe 9 months ago

    Oh, I remember this one! Saw late on a weekend night, and I truly wondered what they were thinking with this one. Thanks for the memories!?

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