Classic Movie Review: 'My Bloody Valentine'

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

Directed by George Mihalka

Written by John Beaird

Starring Neil Affleck, Paul Kelman, Laurie Hallier, Don Francis, Cynthia Dale

Release Date February 11th, 1981

Published February 14th, 2023

My Bloody Valentine 1981 is a low budget horror success story. The film was made for about 5 bucks and a 6 pack of beer, and it went on to become a beloved cult classic. Does that make it a good movie? Not really, but, from a business standpoint, it's undeniably successful. Year after year, on Valentine's Day, My Bloody Valentine grabs a sizable chunk of the streaming market and makes this little horror movie that could into one of the greatest low budget success stories of the 1980s. Again, that doesn't make it an actual good movie, but it is impressive.

In the town of Valentine Bluff, somewhere in Canada, a mine accident killed left four men dead and one man, Harry Warden, alive after he resorted to murdering his fellow miners and eating their flesh to survive. Harry winds up in a coma until a year later when he wakes up and murders the men responsible for the accident. As we join the story, we are 20 years removed from Harry Warden's rampage. It's established that this is the first Valentine's Day celebration since the murders 20 years ago.

Valentine's Day was outlawed in the town because the men who were responsible for the mining accident, the men subsequently murdered by Harry Warden, caused the accident by leaving the mine to attend the town Valentine's Day Dance. Now, the next generation of miners in Valentine Bluff have petitioned to bring back the celebration. This sets off Harry Warden who returns having been triggered by the celebration of Valentine's Day. Warden is supposed to have been locked away in a mental institution but now, the sheriff can't confirm if he's alive or dead.

Meanwhile, in a romantic subplot, a rivalry has arisen between T.J (Paul Kelman) and Axel (Neil Affleck). T.J is the son of the mine owner and has recently returned to town to work at the mine. T.J's ex, Sarah (Lori Hallier), has moved on with Axel and T.J is quite jealous. This rivalry will come to a head when the miners are told that their Valentine's celebration has been canceled by the mayor (Larry Reynolds), and the Sheriff (Don Francks). They've discovered a pair of bodies, possibly the work of Harry Warden and they are moving to cancel Valentine's Day as quickly as possible.

Thus, the miners have invited themselves to a trap when they move their Valentine's Day celebration to the mine shaft. There they will line up to be Harry's next victims by enacting classic slasher movie tropes such as trying to have sex or going places they aren't supposed to go and running the wrong direction to escape the killer. The question then becomes, is this really Harry Warden or is this a copycat with a completely different motive?

That should be the question. The reality, however, is that My Bloody Valentine is far too lazy to concern itself with details that make sense. Instead, director George Mihalka settles for revealing the killer's origins in the final minutes of the movie, as a twist. It renders much of the rest of the movie rather dubious and superfluous. None of the characters introduced really matter to the plot, they suddenly exist as cannon fodder as we find out who the killer is.

The film is impressive in some ways. There is a memorable death discovery that has influenced movies that came after this. That's the death of Mabel Osbourne, played by Patricia Hamilton. She's murdered and her body is placed inside of a dryer in the laundromat she operates. The sheriff shows up and finds her body and the visual of her dryer cooked corpse is genuinely impressive, far more impressive than the rest of My Bloody Valentine. The rest of the kills in the movie lack tension as we are simply waiting for each of the superfluous extras to be killed with no chance for them to escape simply because they lack main character powers.

The final moments are intended to be shocking or at least surprising, but they are more random than anything. The actor involved in the final moments of the movie does well to try and sell the crazy, but it doesn't change the seemingly unmotivated and sloppily arrived at conclusion. The ending doesn't feel exciting because it arrives as if the killer were drawn out of a hat and assigned a motivation at the last moment to justify his actions. Better movies build to an ending, My Bloody Valentine settles on one simply because an ending is needed.

Regardless of my opinion however, there are many who still believe My Bloody Valentine belongs in the slasher pantheon. I may not agree but I can understand why, I guess. The film has at least one iconic moment and it has a title that meant it would remain memorable for years to come. If that's enough for you to be curious about My Bloody Valentine, just prepare yourself to be disappointed. My Bloody Valentine is a desperately mediocre and random movie.

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