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Building 24

by Rii Pierce 11 months ago in supernatural · updated 10 months ago
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The House That Never Stood

Building 24
Photo by Ján Jakub Naništa on Unsplash

*Disclaimer: This story was written using a technique learned for writing exercizes. A timer was set for 10 minutes, and written without an idea or prompt to work from. For the sake of the experiment, I did not read the story over once I finished writing or do any editing -- & submitted almost immediately after writing out of curiosity for others opinion on the result. At some point, I may eventually do proper editing and polishing and resubmit, possibly in a new submission for the purpose of comparison. Please enjoy the product of this experiment! I would love to know what you think!


The dark pressed upon me with the weight of the ocean. It was surrounded me so heavily I felt I would never be able to see light again. Hiding in the corner of a room in this dilapidated house, feeling as though it would cave in around me at any minute. He was in here somewhere. I could feel his presence, though I couldn’t see anything. This dark was of a different kind. Not just the absence of light, but pervasive. He brought it with him. Everything around him was robbed of any light that once existed. You would never be able to tell that it was the middle of the afternoon on a sunny day. So, heavy.

I’m not sure how I ended up in here. I was walking along, minding my own business, when I felt a hand grasp my waist and the next thing I knew I was engulfed in this darkness, in a house I’ve never been. I don’t even know if I’m in the same town. After the grasp of the hand, came a crack on the head, and for a while the darkness was of my own making, having blacked out from the impact. Waking up I panicked that I had lost my vision. Everything is so dark!

I can hear breathing from somewhere else in the room. For a second, I swear I saw a flash of yellow eyes in what must be the opposite side of the room. Crouching, judging by the height from which the flash came. What in the fuck is happening here? My breathing is ragged, and harsh. I want to be quiet, but I can’t breathe any quieter. It feels like I was kicked in the chest. Seriously, what the fuck is happening here?? I feel like I have to be way too calm. Is it shock? Did I get a concussion? I have no way to know, but I don’t think most people sit and have rational conversation with themselves after having been kidnapped. And I’m sure I was kidnapped; that’s the only explanation for whatever situation I’ve found myself in.

Those eyes… what in the fuck is going on with those eyes?! They just flashed again. And I swear they’ve gotten closer. Whatever this thing is, I don’t want it anywhere near me! There has to be a door right? There has to be some kind of way to get out of here? I can’t be stuck in an escape room. There would be a lot more light than this. Unless it’s not during business hours…and I’ve been taken to some arcade place after hours. But it was the middle of the afternoon! It would be open if it were some kind of business. Plus, it feels like a house. It feels like a house that’s about to collapse, but a house nonetheless.

How do I get out? Should I even try to move? I’m terrified that if I so much as shift positions, this thing with flashing nocturnal eyes is going to pounce, and that will be it for me. But I can’t stay here like this. I can’t just sit here. Or lay here I guess. I woke up in the most uncomfortable half laying, half sitting position. Like they propped me up against a wall and I fell over while I was unconscious. I’ve just stayed here. I was thinking about moving when I saw those eyes the first time, so I didn’t move. I’m just slumped over in the most awkward position and I’m too scared to adjust to be more comfortable. With how bad my head hurts, I think any movement will just make it pound even harder. Anything that shifts the blood to my brain. I can feel my heart pounding in my skill and it’s fucking killing me. I want to hold my head, but the movement….

Fuck it, I can’t just do nothing. I’m just going to reach up and rub my goose egg a little bit. I can feel it getting bigger by the second, I need to see if there’s any blood. Fuck, there’s blood. FUCK THE EYES!! Ok, I’m definitely not calm anymore. I don’t think I’ve actually been calm. Am I just rambling to myself?

The eyes are so much closer, and they’re not disappearing anymore. Just staring. It hasn’t even blinked. Damn that pulsing in my brain is so hard! Am I sweating? Ugh, I’m definitely sweating. A lot. How did I not notice that my clothes are half drenched until now? And my pants are ripped? Ohhhh cool. There’s a giant gash on my leg. That’s awesome. So that’s going to make getting out of here even harder… is it broken? Fuck I can’t feel anything. I don’t understand what’s happening!!

Ok, I need to move. The eyes haven’t stopped staring, but I have to do something. I can’t even see what the hell is attached to those damn eyes! Am I just sitting in a room with a giant cat? …is it friendly? Should I try and talk to it? I’m gonna try and talk to it. Maybe it’s friendly. Maybe it’s just been watching over me to see that I’m ok. Yeah. That makes sense. Animals do that, right?

Hi friend…? Are you friendly? What are yo—“ *SCRREEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHH*



Jesus it sounds like a fucking pterodactyl!! I’ve gotta go. I’ve gotta get out of here!! I’m just gonna crawl against the wall and pray there’s a fucking door.



FUCK YES A DOOR!! The eyes aren’t moving…it hasn’t moved from that spot. It’s just screaming at me?! Whatever, I’m getting out of here.

Shit that’s bright! It’s a florescent lit hallway! Penetrating everything in the room, I can finally see what the hell that thing wa—

What? Where did it…? What the hell? How is that room empty?? I saw its eyes! I heard it!! How is there nothing there?! And wait… this is my apartment building? But I was just in an old abandoned house? How am I in my apartment building….and ….how…

How is that room my apartment? I don’t understand….that’s my apartment number on the door…? This is my building? The room isn’t even a room….?


*scattered voices, paramedics, neighbors, all come out to see what happened*

“No, I was just in there, it was different, there was something in there!”

“Ma’am, you’re going to be just fine. Just lie back, take deep breaths into the mask. Count backwards from 10 for me.”

“There was….something….in ….there…..”


About the author

Rii Pierce

(She/her.)Words have inexplicable power. ONE word has the power to change any situation just as quickly as it takes to form. Avid writer, voracious reader, compelled activist, and anxious creator, I am newly embracing what I have to offer.

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