Black Widow

My love life is terrible. It seems everyone I meet these days is never interested. If we’re honest, I do not think I am a bad-looking girl, and I have a good head on my shoulders. I have a 9-5 job that pays my bills and a college degree, so what is so wrong with me? I have tried everything from dating apps to blind dates to even meeting random people in a bar. It just never seems to work out for me.

My dream relationship always starts with me meeting the person in a high-class bar, and they buy me a glass of my favorite Black Widow Merlot. We get to talking and have a wonderful time, the time will fly by, and before we know it, the bar is closing down, and we head out on a stroll through the nearest park. This is the story that I want to tell our future kids about how we met. It would be so romantic; I swoon just thinking about it.

Tonight is the night I have my first date with Todd. We met on a dating app and have spoken through the messaging service there. His pictures look great, and we have had some deep conversations about life. This may be it; I am so excited. He even agreed to go to the bar of my choice, La Cher. It is a high-class bar on the northern side of the city, close enough to a public park to walk there after close. I know many people might think it’s weird that I have this planned to the last detail, but I am a perfectionist, and if they’re the one, they would be okay with that.

It is Friday night, and I just clocked out of work. I have plenty of time before Todd picks me up at ten, and I want to make sure I have some food in my stomach before I start drinking wine. Otherwise, I would get too drunk to ensure the night goes as planned. I do not tell my coworkers about my first dates because too many of them have failed, and it would just be too embarrassing. After dinner, we say our goodbyes, and I head home. I start my shower and let it get nice and hot. While it is warming up, I start bushing out my hair and picking my outfit. I recently bought a little black dress that fits me in all of the right places; I match it with some plain black heels and jump in the shower. Once dressed, I apply minimal makeup and add some ruby red teardrop earrings to match my nails and bracelet. I am ready!

Todd is just on time, which I love, and knocks on my door. When I open the door, I am delighted to see that he looks just like his pictures and is holding a single red rose. Red roses are my favorite type of rose; so far, so good. I take the rose and put it in a small vase on my counter, and we head out. The bar is about a 15-minute drive, and we talk the whole way. He is just as good in person as over the phone. I am growing more and more excited as we near the bar.

Once there, we give the keys to the valet driver and head inside. Everybody in the building is dressed to impress, and I am now a little self-conscious about my dress of choice. Todd, however, still has all eyes on me, and it makes my heart soar. We find two seats at the bar and sit down. The bartender takes their time getting over to us, but that is okay because we have not stopped talking. He is in the middle of telling me how he broke his arm when he was a kid when the bartender makes their way over. Todd does not hesitate to order a whiskey and sprite for himself and a glass of Black Widow Merlot for me; he remembered! This night could only go up from here. I take my time drinking my glass of wine as he goes through about two more whiskey sprites, and before we know it, the bar is calling the last call and closing up. This is going exactly to plan.

I try not to get too excited because dates have gone well before, and still, I have never been past the first date. I just can’t help it though, he just really seems like the one. Todd asks what we should do now that the bar is closed and I suggest taking a walk to sober up a little. He agrees, and we head out. The park is just a few blocks down, and we get there fairly quickly. There is a bench near a pond that we sit on and continue talking. For a moment, the talking dies down, and we sit in silence. I look up at him and see that he is looking down at me, and then he places a hand on my chin and kisses me gently. This was it, the perfect kiss, the perfect first date. His kisses started getting more hungry and I was getting excited. Right here? In the middle of the park? I mean there was nobody around, but still, how exhilarating.

Once we were finished, we were just laying on the ground trying to catch our breath. I was staring at him, he looked so good in the moonlight, I almost felt bad for him, but it was time. I stood up and got dressed, while he was still laying there. Then I got on top of him and with a motion so quick and practiced I sliced his throat and watched as he choked on his blood. I always got such a rush watching them struggle, but it also always made me hungry so I had to clean up quick and hurry to get some breakfast. My favorite little hole in the wall breakfast place makes the best steak and eggs, and I always get my steak as bloody as possible. When I head home I pour myself a nice glass of Black Widow Merlot and start swiping through dating apps, just hoping to find someone who will at least get back to me about a second date.